July 14, 2004

Our government at work

Found this in my INBOX recently and decided to ruin a few days with some humor that's made horrifying due to the fact that I can actually envision something like this happening. Why yes, I AM a bit cynical about our elected officials these days.
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Government Accidentally Begins 'War On Rugs'
Considered The Worst Typo of the Century

WASHINGTON: Blamed on 'a careless typo', the Bush
Administration is trying to find a way to explain the
$150 billion spent this year on efforts to fight the
'War on Rugs'.

The offending act, which was passed last February,
was brought into public spotlight after angry citizens
filed a class action suit against the United States
Government -- for seizing and destroying almost 800,000
rugs nationwide.

Asa Hutchinson, director of the Drug Enforcement
Agency, whose agency the money was initially intended
to benefit, called this a 'travesty':

"We were seeing vast improvements throughout
2004, and were looking forward to a really
productive year in 2005. Unfortunately this
was all cut short by our funding being diverted
to this ridiculous Rug Enforcement Agency.
This is a travesty -- The war on drugs is not
a joke!"

President Bush held a press conference this
Monday in which he addressed the issue.

"I apologize to the American People, for
putting them through this time of hardship, and
for needlessly destroying so many rugs. I apologize
to the thousands of Persian nationals who were exported
or put in concentration camps. I apologize to Young
People, who were subjected to Rug Awareness Programs
about the dangers of Rug Abuse, and for the billions
of dollars spent on constructing Rug Rehabilitation
Centers."

"Unfortunately it may take a few months for this
funding to be curtailed," he added. "The American
People will have to bear this burden and accept that
enforcement officers have rules to follow."

Jess Bravin, legal analyst for the Wall Street
Journal, called this a "load of bullhonkey".

Meanwhile, Amnesty International, an organization
of bleeding-heart idealistic rich kids who never saw
an hour of real work in their entire lives, has called
for an injunction in accordance with the Warsaw Pact
to stop 'the murder of innocent rugs'. Bravin's
comment on this is unpublishable.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 12:59 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 What? They're not going to interview Burt Reynolds or William Shatner?

Posted by: Harvey at July 14, 2004 08:43 PM (tJfh1)

2 Harvey, Harvey, Harvey... :-)

Posted by: physics geej at July 15, 2004 01:31 AM (auFn9)

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