May 24, 2006

Be prepared

Kim du Toit relinked to this post. It contains a detailed list of things that you might want to have handy in case disaster strikes. For what it's worth, I have similar sundries around the house at all times. My wife thinks that I'm anal, and she's right, but that won't stop me from staying prepared. Providing for my family is my #1 priority. Okay, it's a tie with providing for them, but you know what I mean.

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Record snowfall in Hell

Hey, it's a lot more likely than Lastango's request of Madonna found here.

As I type this post, thousands of Christians are gathering rope, pitchforks and burning torches in preparation of tarring and feathering Ms. Ciccone. Whoops, my bad.

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May 23, 2006

One cool Byrd

I've been waiting for Lori Byrd's reappearance on a group blog ever since the dustup at Polipundit recently. She's now roosting, part-time, over at Wizbang. Stop by and give her the old Wizbang welcome.

Not that one, you pervert! The nice one.

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May 19, 2006

Site under construction

I've finally decided to move to a 3-column display on this blog. However, I don't have tons of time to devote to the completion of this task. If you're looking for links right now, they're at the bottom of this page.

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WTF?! moment of the day

In today's Washington Times comes this little article which you're just going to love. Excerpt:

The Senate voted yesterday to allow illegal aliens to collect Social Security benefits based on past illegal employment -- even if the job was obtained through forged or stolen documents.

Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? And this result would have been different HOW if Democrats were in charge of the Senate? Anyway, it continues.

"There was a felony they were committing, and now they can't be prosecuted. That sounds like amnesty to me," said Sen. John Ensign, the Nevada Republican who offered the amendment yesterday to strip out those provisions of the immigration reform bill. "It just boggles the mind how people could be against this amendment."

The Ensign amendment was defeated on a 50-49 vote.

"We all know that millions of undocumented immigrants pay Social Security and Medicare taxes for years and sometimes decades while they work to contribute to our economy," said Sen. John McCain, Arizona Republican.

"The Ensign amendment would undermine the work of these people by preventing lawfully present immigrant workers from claiming Social Security benefits that they earned before they were authorized to work in our community," he said. "If this amendment were enacted, the nest egg that these immigrants have worked hard for would be taken from them and their families."

Senator McCain, let me clue you in on a little secret: you will never, never, NEVER become president. The Democrats only pretend to like you because you oppose the actual conservative Republicans; they will never vote for you. And the Republicans hate you more and more each day.

What's that you say? I'm breaking your unConstitutional law by posting an overtly political post on my blog? Go fuck yourself, you pretentious fop.

Hey, I just used profanity. That should protect this post. However, if I need actual pornography to prevent legal action, I'll Photoshop a picture of Senator RINO fellating a pig and Googlebomb the damned thing so that every search for Johnny boy finds that image.

Update: Not surprisingly, Michelle Malkin is all over this issue. I especially liked Mary Katherine Ham's response:

Seriously, if you could see me now, I'm very Yosemite Sam. Very stampy and tantrumy and incoherent.

Unlike me, she manages to comment on this Senatorial debacle without cursing. Then again, I believe that she's missing a golden opportunity here. Some things are worth a few choice Anglo-Saxon expletives.

Update: Not surprisingly, Kim du Toit is a bit unhappy.

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May 17, 2006

Still not getting it

Lots of people, including Captain Ed, have jumped all over Vox's case about this column(linked here because the WND column was edited). He merely uses some historical perspective to debunk the assertion that "we CAN'T possibly deport 12 million illegals". What seems to have people's panties in a wad is that the reference was to the Nazis's attempted extermination of the Jews.

And he will be lying, again, just as he lied when he said: "Massive deportation of the people here is unrealistic - it's just not going to work."

Not only will it work, but one can easily estimate how long it would take. If it took the Germans less than four years to rid themselves of 6 million Jews, many of whom spoke German and were fully integrated into German society, it couldn't possibly take more than eight years to deport 12 million illegal aliens, many of whom don't speak English and are not integrated into American society

While I would have looked for a different example, I find the facts to be on his side. Nowhere does Vox advocate exterminating the Mexicans. In fact, he doesn't even favor mass deportation. He merely compares the numbers, 6 million versus 12 million, while pointing out the societal differences today that, one would think, would make identifying illegal immigrants much easier than identifying European Jews sixty years ago.

If you want to read into the article that

a) Vox really wants to herd up and kill the Mexicans or
b) He thinks that massive deportation should be issue #1

then go ahead. But don't pretend that you actually read the article as it's written. Read into whatever you want to, but don't pretend that it's actually what's written.

Update: It turns out that Rob at Say Anything did read it correctly, but he's still against the turn of phrase.

I, for one, believe it is totally possible for America to deport 12 million illegal immigrants. If we sealed off the border, empowered local law enforcement to arrest illegals and sped up the deportation process we could probably get most of them out of the country within five years or so. That being said, backing up one's support for mass deportation by citing the success Nazis had at exterminating the Jews is not exactly the best way to win over fence-sitters on this issue.

Okay, I will admit to my ignorance now, but will someone-anyone- please give be a better 20th century example of a country systematically rounding up a particular group of people, numbering in the millions, within a few years time, that was not predicated on the extermination of the aforementioned group. I mentioned above that I'd have sought a different example, but for the life of me, I cannot come up with one. Please, I really want to know. If you cannot provide me with another example, I will assume that you just don't like the Nazi reference, period, which is certainly your perogative. The factual accuracies contained within that reference can therfore simply be ignored because you find it horribly distasteful.

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A new low for France

Every time that I've convinced myself that France cannot sink any lower in my esteem, the cheese eating crapweasels rise to the challenge. Case in point:

A street in a Paris suburb has been named in honor of Mumia Abu-Jamal, who was convicted of the 1981 murder of a Philadelphia police officer.

"In France, they see him as a towering figure," said Suzanne Ross, co-chair of the Free Mumia Coalition of New York City, who was part of an April 29 ceremony to dedicate the Rue Mumia Abu-Jamal in the city of St. Denis.

Ross said the street is in the town's Human Rights district, which includes Nelson Mandela Stadium.

So the French don't look with disdain upon all Americans. Apparently they have a fever in their hearts for cop killers.

France is going the way of the dodo within the next 50-100 years, I believe, due in large part to their socialist society coupled to an insane immigration plan that's eating the country from the inside out. I, for one, will not shed too many tears. And hey, I won't mind calling pom frittes french fries anymore.

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May 16, 2006

Proof that there is a God

My goodness, my Guinness wasn't just a slogan: it was a prophecy. Excerpt:

Drinking a pint of beer a day may stave off osteoporosis, scientists have said.

New research shows that the alcohol in beer appears to suppress the hormones that promote bone loss. And researchers say it may have a better effect on preventing bone loss than calcium.

I believe that I'll go home and protect my bones a bit tonight. Thanks to the Real Beer Blog for the link.

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DUI while mowing

Okay, it's mostly because the guy was a real dumbass. Check out the bold-faced text in the blockquote below:

An Ohio man is headed to court because he was arrested for driving his lawn mower while drunk.

The Vermilion man has been ticketed three times in six months for drunken driving, but this is the first time he was operating the mower.

An officer arrested Doni Bowles at 10 p.m. last Friday when he spotted him driving the lawn mower on a sidewalk. The officer said Bowles smelled of alcohol and his speech was slurred.

He arrested Bowles after giving him a field sobriety test, then Bowles registered a blood alcohol of .144 - almost twice the legal limit.

Bowles admitted had been drinking but said he thought driving his lawn mower 10 m.p.h. on the sidewalk was OK.

"I didn't know you could get a DUI on a bike or a lawnmower," Bowles said. "That's the difference. If I knew that, I would've walked."

Police say he drove the mower to a store about a mile from his home and was arrested on his way back.

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Pragmatism and operating systems

If, by now, I've managed to tweak your interest in Linux or, by now, if Windows has pissed you off enough that you've become interested in Linux, you're probably rooting through the applications that you know and love to see if they'll run on a Linux OS. Many of them will. If not, there are usually native Linux replacements that will do the trick just as well. Unfortunately, that's not always the case. Excerpt:

I'm lucky enough that everything I do, I can do on Linux. Mind you, I do need to use Wine to run Quicken and iTunes, but other than that, my Linux workstations are Windows-software free.

Many people aren't that lucky.

Novell, as many of you know, is working on trying to talk ISVs (independent software vendors) into translating the most popular Windows programs into Linux. With thousands of users asking for Adobe Photoshop, Autodesk AutoCAD, and Adobe/Macromedia Dreamweaver, maybe we'll see native versions of these in Linux sometime soon.

Even so, there will still be other programs that keep users from running a Linux desktop.

Darn it.

As Miller points out, most people and companies can do 90 percent of what they need to do on a Linux desktop. The bad news is that that final 10 percent varies from company to company. For Miller, video's the problem child. For many businesses I know, its accounting software.

Yes, I know about GnuCash, TurboCash, and Lazy8Ledger.

However, the companies I know already have people who are invested in QuickBooks, MYOB, and Peachtree. They're not going to change anytime soon.

Will the change ever come?


We've already come much farther along with the Linux desktop than anyone would have ever dreamed.

As Miller points out, when he first tried Linux around in 1996, mounting a CD-ROM and setting up a printer were big challenges. When I started, I was compiling Linux from source code because I had to, not because I wanted to.

In five years, I predict, 90 percent of all businesses will be able to run 100 percent of their preferred software on a Linux desktop. The ISVs (independent software developres) will continue to bring their software to Linux, and open-source accounting programs, perhaps one of ones I've mentioned, will make the jump from niche program to market-power.

Someday, someday soon, most of you will join me in being able to do all your desktop computing on Linux.

I can't wait.

Quicken presented a major obstacle to my being able to switch. Turns out that it runs just fine in Linux if you use Crossover Office. Just an FYI.

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The president's speech

I was driving home when CNN accidentally cut in to Bush's warmup. Nice work, guys. I've got some belly button lint that has the IQ to replace you. Anyway, I listened to most of the speech in the car and then watched the end on TV. I believe that I can break it down to its barest bones:

I pretend that I don't like amnesty, but everyone knows that we're going to do it anyway.

I'm going to secure the borders by sending some National Guardsmen down to push some pencils around. That'll really, really scare the illegal immigrants.

Catch-and-release is a failure which I'll end right after amnesty makes all of the illegals legal.

The hi-tech fence we're building at some point in the future won't be completed during my term, so don't worry if you see nothing being done. It's a feature, not a bug.

Finally, if you heard anything different during this speech than you did back in 2001, please stay asleep. I'm counting on it.

Thank you, and good night. Now go away and stop bothering me.

You might say that I'm a bit underwhelmed. Apparently I'm not the only one.

Mrs. IMAO(the artist formerly known as Sarah K.) was not impressed.

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May 15, 2006

My response

I started this humble blog as an outlet for things that interest me: making beer, telling (bad) jokes, and general geekery. The 2004 election pulled me kicking an screaming into political blogging which, I might add, isn't something I actually excel at. However, Jim Geraghty reiterates his point that conservatives who choose to sit out the November elections are umm, what's the phrase? Oh yeah, here it is: fucking morons. Mr. Geraghty uses more appropriate language, of course, but it's still sounds pretty damned condescending to me. Excerpt:

doubted the strategic wisdom of conservatives sitting out this election to “teach Republicans a lesson”; several bloggers have responded.

There are still doubters and skeptics, though. What’s really stunning is this absolute certainty of angry conservatives that A) Republicans will learn the right lessons from the defeat, and not, say, respond in a panic by embracing their inner RINO and flailing around for MSM approval and B) that the Republicans can easily win back Congress in 2008, just by stiffening their spines and pledging to return to their conservative roots.

I have my doubts on both counts. For starters, why would Republicans get the message that “we need to be more conservative” in a year that conservatives were knocked out?

Who are the Republican lawmakers most angering the conservative base? Well, let’s say Sens. Trent “I’m tired of hearing about Porkbusters” Lott, Ted “Bridge to Nowhere” Stevens, John McCain for cosponsoring Kennedy’s immigration bill and campaign finance reform, Arlen Specter for being a pain in the tushie over judges, Chuck Hagel for being the New York Times’ favorite Republican senator to criticize Bush, and other minimally-conservative Republicans like Sens. Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins. Well, they’re not going to lose in 2006. Most of ‘em aren’t even up for reelection this year.

Look at the Republicans most in jeopardy in 2006. (I’m using National Journal’s most recent rankings.)

In the Senate, a bad year for the Republicans would mean the loss of Rick Santorum (who has lifetime American Conservative Union rating of 88 out of a possible 100, and a 92 in 2005) in Pennsylvania, Jim Talent (93 rating lifetime, and a 96 in 2005) in Missouri, Conrad Burns (91, and a perfect 100 in 2005) in Montana and Mike DeWine (80 lifetime, only 56 in 2005) in Ohio. Of course, Ohio voters who sit this one out will replace DeWine with Sherrod Brown, who has a lifetime rating of 8 and 4 for 2005. And they won’t get to revisit that decision until 2012.
Nice job, guys. Your effort to re-conservativize the Republican Party in Washington by staying home this year will have the effect of massacring the actual conservatives and empowering the moderates who you disdain. Perhaps we can call this counterproductive maneuver “RINO-plasty.”

But that’s okay, the staying-at-home-conservatives insist. The GOP will win back the House and Senate in 2008, establishing a true conservative majority.

Maybe. But as I mentioned, what kind of lengths do you think the Democrats will go to in order to keep power once they’ve got it? Does the “Fairness Doctrine” ring a bell? You think Pelosi and Reid wouldn’t try that tactic to hinder conservative talk radio? How about McCain-Feingold 2.0, with a particular focus on controlling “unregulated speech” on the Internet and blogs?

Think the MSM was cheerleading for Democrats in 2004? How much more fair and balanced do you think they’ll be when their task is to defend Democratic House and Senate majorities AND elect President Hillary Rodham Clinton? My guess is, they’ll make the CBS memo story look accurate and evenhanded by comparison.

Think the GOP can prevail in close races once they’re out of power? Ask the members of the military who had their ballots in Florida blocked. Ask Doug Forrester how well his anti-Torricelli campaign worked when he suddenly faced Frank Lautenberg at the last minute. Ask Dino Rossi. Ask Democrat Tim Johnson if he’s glad the last county in South Dakota to report its results just happened to have enough of a Democratic margin to put him over the top in 2002.
We usually like looking at the Daily Kos crowd insisting for an immediate pullout of the troops or impeachment hearings right this second and we laugh at them for their ludicrously unrealistic expectations.

But apparently the Kos are not the only ones with an all-or-nothing mentality. Sometimes in life you have to use the West Coast offense, nickel and diming your way down the field instead of going for the long bomb. If I want a more conservative government, I get it by electing the more conservative of the two choices, even if he isn’t as conservative as I would like. I do not get it by sitting on the sidelines and pouting, and letting the less conservative guy take the reigns of power.

For this I get labeled a “bamboobzled [sic] boob” by the likes of Bill Quick. Yeah, I’m the unreasonable one.

I will concede the point that the Democrats, once back in power, are likely to pass numerous laws which will make it more difficult for them to lose that power. Democrats will likely pass laws which further curtail our freedoms, most notably freedom of speech, and likely increase the flood of illegal immigration. And that's different from today how? Let me list what I see as the good things that have come from having Republicans control DC:

1) Nomination 2 judges for SCOTUS that look pretty good philosophically

2) Taking the fight to the enemy

That's about it. Everything else blows great big freaking chunks. I'm sick and tired of being forced to swallow my own vomit while being told that it's yummy milkshake. And for what it's worth, lecturing to me as to a small child on how stupid and irresponsible I am probably isn't the best tack to take. Want to persuade me? Don't spend all of your time telling me how bad things will get under Democrat leadership. I already know. Tell me how much better things will get if we re-elect the current Republican leadership.

What's that? I can't hear you. Cat got your tongue?

Republicans have become Democrat-lite. Increasingly, that "light" distinction has gotten heavier, like someone working his way up from skim milk to half-and-half. And I'm sick of it. If you're pushing me down the path to Hell, speed up. When the journey progresses slowly, people tend not to notice until it's much too late. If, instead, you grease the skids so that we hit rock bottom quickly, people might actually wake up and do something. Everything turning to shit usually gets attention. If not, we're lost already and we might as well get on with how things are going to turn out anyway.

So let's get it on this November. I'm ready for whatever happens and, unlike Mr. Geraghty, am unlikely to complain about the intellectual inferiority or emotional instability of the voters should they vote differently than I'd like them to. This is due, in part, to the fact that I'm an adult and don't expect things to always go my way. But hey, your mileage may vary.

Update: The Emperor suggests an idea that I can support.

If you’re lucky enough to live in a State or a District whose representative is a true conservative, and that goes for all of us who might be that lucky, vote for him or her. DO get out the vote and make your voices heard. This is NOT about stomping our feet and being silly, we leave that to the other side.

If not, however, if you happen to have an incumbent who is about as “conservative” as Harry Reid, let’s find a conservative counter-candidate for the primaries that we can back up and stump for until our fingers bleed. I volunteer whatever clout I may have for the cause and I will do anything (short of breaking the law, and the CFR doesn’t count since it’s un-Constitutional and thus I am not bound by my oath to uphold it, as a matter of fact I’m bound by it to do the exact oppposite) to boost their campaign.

Let’s get some true conservatives on the ballot, and let’s use our strength to work together, not against each other.

But if our guys don’t prevail in the primaries, don’t expect me to back the RINO “because he’s not Pelosi”, because I’m a little bit too mature to fall for Democrat campaign slogans. I’m staying at home.

Update:Mark Tapscott discusses the issue eloquently. Go there now.

Update: Good illustration over here. My only argument is that it doesn't show the critter with both heads up its own ass.

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Stakes. Honey. Anthill.

Some assembly required.

I shouldn't read stories like this one. All that they do is raise my blood pressure to dangerous levels.

Update: Ace weighs in as well.

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May 12, 2006

A somewhat different take

I loved the Chronicles of Narnia movie. I even pointed out to my wife that the light pole came from [SPOILER REMOVED!!] when [EDITED FOR SPOILERS]. Anyway, Jay Pinkerton has a slightly different take on it. Excerpt to follow, but you need to read the whole thing so that I won't be the only person holding in gales of laughter at work.

Narnia, on the other hand, is like the K-Mart discount bin of mythology. Every monster or creature you've ever heard of is incoherently tossed in with the animal kingdom, and now they all talk. I like fantasy as much as the next sixth level cleric, but the bare minimum for me is knowing the author gave his ridiculous shit more thought than I'll have to. Narnia comes off like a shitty Trapper-Keeper drawing by a twelve-year-old who plays Dungeons & Dragons and really likes the zoo. In one scene a pair of badgers have a conversation with Santa Claus, and in another a human on a talking horse does battle with the White Witch of the North while griffins divebomb centaurs, and your head’s just spinning from the random senselessness of it.

Let me break this down for Harry Potter fans, since there seem to be a lot of you: it'd be like if someone rewrote the Harry Potter books, and instead of having a clearly defined world populated by a hierarchy of wizards and witches where everything makes consistent sense within the reality of that world, Harry Potter was suddenly teaming up with Merlin, Robin Hood and Zeus to fight the Easter Bunny and a talking elephant that's also Ganesha. I hope your reaction would be "What the fuck?"

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Hey, Jew haters!

This site's for you, courtesy of Aaron the Rantblogger. For some reason, the camel fellating pig humpers don't seem to like it when a Jew gets all uppity. Please, please, you little shit eaters, take my advice and go fuck yourselves. You can't win against Aaron. All that you can do is really piss him off. If you keep screwing with his site, I can almost guarantee that his next site will be

You have been warned.

Update: Apparently I'm a little slow. It appears as though Aaron had some similar in mind already.

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May 11, 2006

I laughed, I cried.

It was better than Cats

The Only News Source You'll Ever Need posts a thoughtful essay about the dish best served cold. And by thoughtful, I mean fat and gay. Just an FYI.

I could excerpt from the damned thing, but I'd rather someone else get busted at work for laughing at crap like this.

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Latest problem

And, finally, Washington insiders are talking about a terrorist captured at the airport in Little Rock, Ark. He claimed to be a teacher, but Transportation Security Administration authorities found in his possession a compass, protractor and calculator. He has been identified by the Justice Department as belonging to the notorious al-Gebra group and charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

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An oldie, but...

Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap.  Father Bill says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress.  He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand and heads back to the showers.

He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way.  Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue.  The nuns stop and comment on how lifelike he looks.  The first nun cannot resist temptation, suddenly reaches out and pulls on his manhood.  Startled, he drops one of the bars of soap. "Oh look" says the first nun, "its a soap dispenser."

To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood.  Sure enough, he drops the second bar of soap.

The third nun decides to have a go. She pulls once, then twice and three times but nothing happens.  So she gives several more tugs, then yells! "Mary, Mother of God - Hand Lotion too!"

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May 10, 2006

And now for something completely different

I might be changing careers again. This time though, it would actually allow me to use my master's degree. I'm mulling over the life-changing implications of this decision. Good thoughts and/or prayers are always appreciated.

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Business as usual

So more flaws have been discovered in Windows. What happens this time? Does the screen go blank? Do your files become invisible? No, of course not. Instead, these "new" flaws provide a hacker the ability to gain control of your computer. It's like a Microsoft Groundhog Day that doesn't end by your having sex with Andie McDowell. Instead, it's like french-kissing Helen Thomas.

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