August 31, 2004

And I thought regular bad drivers were a headache

It turns out that we soon might have flying cars. Great. And here's what the story considers a higlight:

Flying cars seen as a way out of congestion chaos

Now I can start worrying about a drunk driver crashing into the second story of my house. Ugh.

Update: Harvey is better than a spell checker; he's a link checker. I wonder if comes bundled with Microsoft Office? Nah. it would actually work then.

Thanks, dude.

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Good news for Frank J.

Looks like mokeys have picked up a filthy habit. On the plus side, we won't be paying for their healthcare as long since they'll die younger. Or something.

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When I'm wrong, I admit it

I flipped over to C-SPAN last night and saw Ron Silver onscreen. For a minute, I thought that the cable channel was televising a repeat of the DNC. I've known for a long, long time just how liberal Silver is. Supposing that he was just another leftist weenie, I usually ignored him. Imagine my surprise when I heard this line:

"Even though I am a well-recognized liberal on many issues confronting our society today, I find it ironic that many human rights advocates and outspoken members of my own entertainment community are often on the front lines to protest repression, for which I applaud them, but they are usually the first ones to oppose any use of force to take care of these horrors that they catalogue repeatedly."

About time someone in Hollywood said it. Afterwards, Silver spoke with Brit Hume on Foxnews and discussed his views. He was, of course, in favor of many liberal domestic policies. What I was unaware of, though, was that Ron favored a "muscular, pre-emptive military that should be used for humanitarian purposes." When asked by Brit what had finally moved him away from many of his liberal comrades, Silver mentioned 9/11. You'd think that that would be the defining moment for most people. Unfortunately, too many of the effete Hollywood ilk seem to have disconnected their brains from all logic and reason. Anyway, I misjudged Ron SIlver entirely, considering him just another mindless Hollywood leftist asshat. I'm glad to admit that I was horribly wrong and welcome his support in the war on terror.

Update: Here's the transcript of Silver's comments to the convention.

Update #2: Jay Nordlinger has more on Ron Silver. Excerpt:

I suppose the speech on Monday that I most enjoyed was that of Ron Silver, the liberal actor. He still considers himself a liberal — but, like Koch, he is a 9/11 Democrat. Before the GOP delegates, he said we must "never forget, never forgive, never excuse." He lingered over that phrase "never excuse," and it is, indeed, worth lingering over. He opined that we are "engaged in a war that will define the future of humankind" (I wish he had said "mankind," but I can't have everything). He stressed that the other side — TerrorWorld — started this war, and he pointedly referred to our "coalition" (something the Democrats in general are loath to do). And I really liked, "History shows that we are not imperialists" — so, cryingly true; rather, "we are fighters for freedom and democracy."

And I really, really liked his shot at "the entertainment community" for declaring a love of human rights and then doing everything possible to keep President Bush from advancing them.

Quite interesting was that he expressed support for our "commander-in-chief," as distinct from "president." Yes, this is a 9/11 Democrat; he wants that War on Terror prosecuted. And still more interesting was his interview with Brit Hume, later in the evening. He said that he was pretty much a domestic liberal — on abortion, on stem cells, on health care; and yet he favors school vouchers. (He mentioned, too, that he has supported SDI from earliest Reagan days.) As for the Left, they backed Clinton's "humanitarian interventions," and did not require that he obtain permission from the U.N. The Left would be supporting a lot of what's happening now — except that they are "blinded" by their "hatred" of George W. Bush.

Ron Silver is not blinded. When Hume remarked that he had fallen away from the Left, Silver responded that the Left had fallen away from him. In this, he sounded rather like President Reagan. I wish I could say more about Silver's speech, and that interview. I am grateful — really grateful — for him.

Update: Ace agrees that Silver gave a great speech. However, he does raise an interesting point that I had forgotten about. Excerpt:

Nice guy? Brave guy? Smart guy? This fucker killed Jean Claude Van Damme's wife, the delectable Mia Sara. What, we're all of a sudden just giving people a pass for that?

Can I second the sentiment about Mia Sara?

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August 30, 2004

I'll answer that question

Kim du Toit posts a special edition of Saturday skin(okay, it's special because of the babe in question) where he asks the following question:

In the category of "forbidden desires", was I the only one who errrr sat upright when young Kelly Bundy (Christina Applegate) sashayed onto the TV screen during Married... With Children?

In a word: no.

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Request for volunteers

Beth is looking for bloggers to host upcoming Carnival of Recipes. I've already volunteered for mid-October. The delay is due to the impending blessed event in the Geek household. Anyway, all you bloggers get out there and help a lady out. That includes girly men as well.

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From a(hopefully) alternate history

Just received the following in an email. I Googled the thing and found 353 links. So far. Anyway, since I don't have an original source, here's the thing in its entirety.

May 23, 2005

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress approved sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA), signed into law by President John Kerry shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Kerry, a longtime AWNAA supporter.

"This is why many of them voted for me. We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing", said Kerry.

President Kerry pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 80 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability. Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%).

President Kerry has also set an example, personally selecting hundreds of Nonabled people for top government positions, including many cabinet-level jobs.

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in top positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?" and "Are you awake?"

"As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of notable job skills.

"This new law should really help people like me."

With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Kerry, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every
American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation."

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That's going to leave a mark

Boy(dot) George really screwed up when he decided ad hominem attacks were the way to combat the guys over at Powerline. Wanna see something really funny?

If Boy(dot) George weren't an idiot, he'd wave the white flag. However, all indications are that he IS a mind-numbingly stupid, effete elitist idiot.

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Vox wades in on a topic that has been beat to death throughout the years. However, he makes some cogent observations on how you know who is, and who isn't, your friend:

It's not easy being green, Kermit. Friendship can be difficult for many men, though it's not really that hard. It's just about having someone you trust watching your back, and watching theirs in return. But to have a friend you must first be a friend.

It's a two-way street. You have to accept the fact that sometimes you have to put them first, whether that involves not hitting on a smoking-hot girlfriend who's good-to-go or listening to the world's most boring soliloquy on the arcane minutae of import-export law for 45 minutes and occasionally asking questions instead of slitting your wrists. And in return, they won't even think twice about rolling you out of the drunken innermost secrets that have risen from the pit of your stomach thanks to the evils of the shot glass*, lying to anyone that needs lying to, and wading in to beat down someone they don't have anything against just because you can't keep your stupid mouth shut.
*That they bought, the bastards. And landed you in jail. On your birthday.

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Quote of the day

Asparagirl notes an historical event that is best remembered for what it didn't do. Excerpt:

Today is the 76th anniversary of the signing of the Kellogg-Briand Act, which outlawed war forever.
Or perhaps the problem was that then, as now, people somehow think that murderous dictators will give a shit about a piece of paper.

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And one of the greats mothballs his keyboard

So den Beste has called it quits. This, of course, not long after Michele decided to go on hiatus as well. Crud.

I always looked forward to a den Beste column. They were thoughtful and thought-provoking, designed to make the reader think about issues rather than simply emoting over them. Even the columns on topics that I had little interest in(Anime comes to mind) were a delight to read. Sometimes, the writing sparked some interest in me where none had existed. I've actually considered checking out some of the Anime series that den Beste has mentioned. Trust me: that would be big change for me.

So Rachel Lucas left permanently for a while, recharging her batteries as it were. Here's hoping that Steve den Beste comes to a similar conclusion: take a break, but don't retire. The blogosphere needs you, or someone like you. For however long you're gone, you will be missed.

Harvey says no one can quit cold turkey from "blog-crack". Here's hoping that he's correct.

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And still more ridiculous quizzes

Well, here's the link and here are my two results for "Which Movie Are You?" and "Which Famous Leader Are You?"

All I can say is, WTF? Increases my sexual options? I was a freaking physics major. You want a surefire conversation killer while talking to a cute coed? Just wait until she asks the dreaded question: "So, what are you studying?" I even tried the generic "Science." as answer. Unfortunately, a more specific question as to which science was sure to follow. Ugh.

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Brooklyn diplomacy

Jay Nordlinger published an email that a reader sent to him. I'll probably be smiling all day because of it. Just in case you're too lazy to click over to NRO, here's the letter:

Mr. Nordlinger:

A while back I paid a visit to our local bookstore (I live in southern New Jersey) with the intent of checking out the new release Michael Moore Is a Stupid White Man. I looked on the new-release, bestseller, new-non-fiction racks — nothing. I wandered around for a while and then headed up to the information desk. The clerk, a thirty-something reject from a Grateful Dead concert, smiles at me. Here's a fairly accurate transcript:

CLERK: How may I help you?

ME: I'm looking for Michael Moore Is a Stupid White Man.

C: (still smiling) You mean Stupid White Men by Michael Moore . . .

M: No. Michael Moore Is a Stupid White Man. It's a new release.

C: We don't have it.

M: Are you sure? It's very popular.

C: (taciturn) Never heard of it. (Looks past me) Can I help the next person, please?

M: Excuse me, but can you check on your computer?

C: (very annoyed) Fine. (Bangs away at the keyboard. Scrolls down the screen at warp speed) No. Doesn't exist.

M: Wait — there it is.

C: (extremely annoyed) Oh . . . um . . . Yesss. We only received one copy. It's in the back.

M: Where in the back?

C: (loudly) In the political science section!

M: Thanks!

I checked out the section. The book was nowhere to be found. I walk back to the desk.

M: Pardon me, but I couldn't find it.

C: (Curses under her breath and slams her pen on the counter. Slams swinging door. Marches to the back of the store)

I could not believe what she did next. She grabs a step ladder and climbs up. The book was lying flat on the top row of books — with the spine toward the back so you couldn't see the title. She grabs the book, climbs down, slams it into my chest. Her face is beet red and she screams: "HERE!!! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, YOU FRIGGIN' FACIST!??!"

I was shocked, Mr. Nordlinger. This wasn't a mom-'n'-pop outfit. It's one of the largest booksellers in the Northeast that aren't Barnes & Noble.

So I figured, Okay, time for some Brooklyn diplomacy. I walked up to the counter again.

ME: Excuse me: Do you have Treason by Ann Coulter? In the bestseller section? I couldn't find it . . .

Some things are just too good not to share.

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This makes me suspicious

I question the timing of this story. President Bush called John Kerry's Vietnam era service "more heroic" than his own. The bastard.

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August 27, 2004

A new Carnival is up

And, of course, I forgot to submit a recipe this week. Urk. Anyway, go over to Beth's place and check out the yummy goodness.

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August 26, 2004

I've hopped on board as a mirror for this site. Funny how John Effing Kerry won't allow any more copies to be printed, isn't it?

The New Soldier, by John Kerry



Main Content

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Meet the bloggers

Check out this article about accredited RNC bloggers. Complete with pictures, too. Hat tip to the guy who manages to read the entire Internet every day.

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Hard to argue with this

Jay Nordlinger rankled me a bit in today's Impromptus. Here's the offending excerpt:

I must tell you which people I most contemn right now, here in America: conservatives who will not vote for Bush, or who have "reservations," because he's not pure enough. "Oh, his spending, oh, his steel tariffs [which were imposed for like two seconds]!" Come on: There's a war on. Don't these people know it? Will there ever be a weightier contrast between the two major candidates? Will the stakes ever be higher? I mean, this is 1864-ish.

I must say I retch at these conservatives, about whom I read. (I'm not talking about the anti-war, anti-Bush conservatives: I'm talking about the ones who are for the war, but who draw back from support of Bush because, like just about every politician — necessarily — he's impure.) They seem to me, above all, immature: to misunderstand democracy, to reject politics, to give off whiffs of totalism.

Donald Sensing has a far better grasp of the situation than Rich, and he manages to present his point without the condescension. Nordlinger obviously does NOT get it.

Yes, I'm still a blog for Bush, but only because of the WOT. The M-F bill was and is an abomination. If it doesn't become the most flouted law in the history of this country-and I'm including Prohibition here- then this country will deserve what it gets. Now that a little piece of the 1st Amendment has been chipped away, more are sure to follow.

Update: Not surprisingly, Spoons feels a little less love towards Nordlinger.

Update #2: Someone could have mentioned that I typed Rich Lowery's name instead of Jay Nordlinger's in my original post. I'm just sayin', is all.

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Lessons learned

Red Neck Lessons Learned

Never take a beer to a job interview.
Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.
If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.

A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
Do not allow the dog to eat at the matter how good his manners are.

While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days.
However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.
Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste
of finger foods.

DATING (Outside the Family)
Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the
bathroom wall two years ago."
Establi sh with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say
10:00 PM; Others might say "Monday."
If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a
tacky appearance.
Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; Even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.
When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer

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August 25, 2004

Connection? I don't see no steenking connection.

NZ Bear maintains the Ecosystem and the Weblog Alliances, both of which get lots of exposure. However, if you're not paying attention, you might not have noticed that he's a pretty fair writer, too. Excerpt:

At this point, the Kerry campaign's belief that they can hold their opponents to one set of standards while blissfully ignoring the fact that their own partisans trample upon those same standards has passed being stupid, and is now becoming downright insulting. Did they really think that nobody would bother to check if the Democrats were similarly sharing lawyers with 527's?

That kind of carelessness might have cut it a few years ago, when somnolent Big Media hacks were satisfied to define reporting as getting quotes from both party's spokesmen. But times have changed, friends: there isn't just one new sheriff in town, there's thousands of us. We will fact-check your ass, and we will do it thoroughly and properly, with links and primary sources that let our readers decide where the truth lies. So straighten up and fly right, because we are watching --- and we do this crap for fun.

Baby seal. Club. You make the call.

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PGH assignment

The latest Alliance homework presents an interesting dilemna: do I attempt to answer factually, or do I simply snark my way through the assignment. I guess it doesn't matter because whatever I write is almost guaranteed to be more accurate than the major news outlets. In any event, here's the deal:

What excuses will the "unbiased" major media outlets give for not covering Kerry's lies about Viet Nam?

1) "I've been busy standing in line for tickets to Michael Moore's next pack of lies documentary, scheduled for release in late 2005."

2) "Uh, umm, well... Hey! Look over there! It's Elvis!. Yo King!"
Note: Yes, this has been done before. Sue me.

3) "What? I can't hear you! My head's too far up John Kerry's ass!"

4) "Vietnam veterans are all evil! They lie all the time! I refuse to print anything they say when... excuse me, Senator. I didn't see you. Of course we'll run photos of you in a Speedo."

5) "Facts? We don't need no steenking facts."

6) "Mistakes were made. And there is no controlling legal authority...."

7) Reporters too busy investigating the horrible rugby war crimes of President Bush to be bothered with insignificant details such as John Kerry lying about his Vietnam experience.

Mainstream media types are unable to make any intelligible statements concerning Kerry's record because their mouths are already busy fellating the two Johns 24x7.

9) Reporters have been too busy participating in the BusHitler Olympics, where events include Ignoring Reality, Arsenice-in-the-drinking-water and Old Lace, Destroying Pristine, Mosquito Infested Alaskan Wastelands Nature Preserves and Pin The A-bomb on Iraq Because It's All About OOOIIIIILLLLLLL!!!!

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