September 01, 2009

Well, it's a job

I used to work in IT. While never officially part of the Help Desk crew, I somehow became the go to guy for anything and everything regarding the PCs around the office. However, I have a high regard for people manning the phones because, well, imagine having to go through this:

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August 25, 2009

It's true. That's why I'm crying

Just saw this XKCD comic, which struck way too close to home:

threesome.png


My sister-in-law asked me, when I told her that I had taken ballet in college, this: Did you do it to pick up girls?

I replied with an anecdote from Monk. Adrian was showing an old home video to Natalie in which he's standing mostly behind a tree. The following dialogue ensued (paraphrased except for the last sentence):


Natalie: What are you doing there?

Monk: I'm playing Hide.

Natalie: Oh, you mean Hide and Seek.

Monk: You just don't get it, do you?

Even if I had been so inclined, my pitiful, pathetic, painfully ridiculous overtures would have been met with, at best, pity. More likely though, is the probability that I'd have been introduced to the Point and Laugh response. Again.

While I can't say that "going into physics was the biggest mistake of my life", I can safely state that going into physics was far and away the biggest girl repelling thing that I've ever done. Sure, I dig women. A lot. Sadly, I must have dug Shroedinger's Time Dependent Wave Equation more.

Don't pity me. I'm just not worth it.


Going into physics was the biggest mistake of my life. I should've declared CS. I still wouldn't have any women, but at least I'd be rolling in cash.

Well, I did meet my wife while working in CS/IT, so I think that the author has a point.

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August 10, 2009

It's coming...

The Puppy Blender links to a post on touch-and-feel holograms.

Some years back, Dennis Miller opined that when some slack-jawed redneck could have sex with Cindy Crawford from the comfort of his couch, it would make crack look like Pez. That day might not be too far off.

I know what you're thinking: pervert. But be honest and admit that the idea appeals to you, too.

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April 08, 2009

Really popular science

Ever have a warm 6-pack sitting around and wished you could chill it in seconds? Well, now you can.

Yes, I saw Mythbusters do the whole beer chilling episode. However, the geek cred for their icy brine solution is way less than the one seen here.

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April 02, 2009

Weirdest USB gadget

Okay, it's the weirdest thing that I've found today and, of course, the day isn't over yet. In any event, I give you the USB-powered vibrator. Really. Here's a description of the device from elsewhere:


usb_vibrator.jpg

This isn’t just a USB vibrator. This one includes 5 interchangable latex probes (wow!), has 10 unique preset pulse/vibrate rhythms (yihah!), and features a self adjustable finger ring vibrating bullet (amazing!). Here’s our winner ladies and gentlemen - the Super 10 function USB powered vibrator. Crazy shit.


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March 03, 2009

Better day ahead

Sure, square root day is cool and all, but it takes a back seat to Pi Day, because everyone loves Pi. Plus, Pi Day comes every year. Be sure to celebrate it 1:59, a.m. or p.m. as you so desire.

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January 22, 2009

Stalkers unite

While I enjoy catching up with people with whom I've lost touch as much as anyone, this is just creepy.

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November 12, 2008

Mmmm, tasty

The Ten Most Delicious USB Disks On the Market.

I'm kind of partial to the pizza one, or the waffle one. My brain is now working feverishly on the possibility of a beer-themed memory stick.

Update: Even more interesting USB designs found here. Looks like someone has already beaten me to the beer idea:

Memory-Stick18.jpg


Update: And still more!

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October 21, 2008

Geek entry of the day

Another from the PG archives because I've got nuthin' today. As for those of you who think that that makes this day no different from any other, well, you have a point.
============================================

Have you ever been caught off guard when someone walks up to you and asks, "What's the square root of X?" Me, too. Usually, I can remember approximations for most square roots up through, uh, maybe I won't finish that statement. Anyway, sometimes the numbers are just too damn big or I need more digits after the decimal place than I can comfortably work out. It's times like that when you really need Newton's formula:

Newtons sqrt.jpg

b represents the number for which you're seeking the square root and x is your first guess. Wanna see how it all works? Of course you do! Observe:

Let's say that you need the square root of 13 and we want to be within 0.00001 of the actual value. For simplicity, we'll make x the same as b, the number we're taking the square root of.

Iterations
-----------
x=13, b=13
NewX=7, difference is 6

x=7, b=13
NewX=4.428571, difference is 2.571429

x=4.428571,b=13
NewX=3.682028, difference is 0.746544

x=3.682028, b=13
NewX=3.606345, difference is 0.075682

x=3.606345, b=13
NewX=3.6055514, difference is 0.000794

x=3.6055514,b=13
NewX=3.605551, difference <0.000001

There you have it: the square root of 13 is approximately 3.605551.

I feel better already.

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Wanna see something really geeky?

Via Jonah comes this video of claymation style Battle Chess. I've embedded the video below the fold to prevent your browser from hanging.

more...

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August 21, 2008

Lost your keys?

No problem. Simply hot wire your car.

I still haven't tried the tennis ball key thing yet, so it's unlikely I'll go this route any time in the near future.

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June 11, 2008

And I thought I was geeky

Okay, I am, but this little Roomba modification here surprises even me:


Turn a Roomba into a Ghost Sucking PacMan

This guy added 448 yellow LEDs to a Roomba so when it progresses forward, it gobbles up dust, dirt, and the occasional ghost and fruit too. When it starts up, it plays the PacMan intro and when it shuts off, it plays the dead PacMan noise.


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May 20, 2008

The wasteland that my life was

Via Ken and CalTech Girl comes a quiz on which, pathetically, I scored 100%. I'll admit that there were two skin diseases I wasn't sure about, but I knew for a fact that they weren't D&D monsters. Anyway, here is the result in all of its pathetic glory:











Skin Disease or Dungeons and Dragons Character?



Score: 100% (16 out of 16)


Cal Tech Girl has nothing to be ashamed of because gaming girls, while rare, were a much sought commodity among us basement dwellers. For the record though, I don't quite believe Ken when he says that he knows "doodly" about D&D.

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April 14, 2008

Time to turn in my cell phone

Cell phone spam? Holy shit. Here's a tip for the hucksters on Madison Avenue: if you start bombarding my cell phone with unwanted calls, ads and SMS messages, I will boycott all of your products and will ask other people to join in. Some people don't mind their cell phones turning into the vast wasteland that email has become? Great. Let them opt in to this crap. Excerpt:


One estimate suggests that your average consumer is already exposed to about 3,000 ads per day (New York City residents see about 5,000 per day). The problem with this figure, according to the advertising industry, is that it's way too low. They intend to fix the problem by adding lots of ads to your cell phone.
...
However, a consensus is forming based on studies conducted by a variety of potential players that cell phone users want advertising, and lots of it.

The author essentially calls bullshit on this vapid, steaming pile of horse squeeze, so I won't bother... oh, who am I kidding? I call complete and utter bullshit on the newest "consensus".

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April 08, 2008

LOTR as it would be today

Venomous Kate embeds a video that shows a modern day version of LOTR, complete with Mapquest shenanigans. To prevent it from slowing down your webpage load, I'll show the video below the fold:

more...

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April 03, 2008

Release your inner geek

You know you want to. Maybe you're shy, or you're just starting to explore geekdom and you don't know where to start. How about 25 Great Geek Websites. Excerpt:


Geeks like us spend a ridiculous amount of time browsing the Web. We get our nerd news online, we converse with like-minded individuals online, we get ideas online, we learn about new products online, and so on. We live and breathe the mighty cloud.
...
Ars Technica
Though it's full of spot-on reviews, the best feature of ars technica is the daily technology news blog. Ars blends up-to-the-minute reporting with its own unique, informed blend of analysis. As far as tech news goes, Ars covers the entire spectrum; tabs along the top direct you to business IT, gaming, hardware, a new security section, and more.
...
Hack n Mod
When it comes to mods, hacking, and other off-the-beaten-path hardware wrangling, the Web is full of destinations. Possibly one of the finest is Hack n Mod, which is packed with tutorials and articles. The content isn't just limited to computers; a glance at the sections reveals hacks about free energy, lasers, robots, and most of the current game consoles. This is where to go for everything from LED mods to building a pneumatic pirate cannon.
...
Coding Horror
Jeff Atwood keeps a blog of some of the most ridiculous, unpredictable, and hilarious programming gaffs ever. Riffing on everything from the true use of the middle mouse button to why registration keys suck, Atwood writes with wit and grace—often brimming with biting satire. This blog is a must for every coder, and anyone remotely interested in or connected to computer programming.

Okay, I'll admit this isn't as exciting as the Internet pr0n that MKH talks about on O'Reilly and there's no beautiful woman. Wait a sec, I think that I can fix that last part.
more...

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April 01, 2008

Latin translations of the names of some famous bands and television shows

Yeah. You know you want to read more.
================================================

Cimictus
The Beatles

Inlecebrae
The Temptations

Lapides provolventes
The Rolling Stones

Ille quis
The Who

Mortui grati
The Grateful Dead

Simitatores
The Monkees

Pueri litoris
The Beach Boys

Illi silices
The Flintstones

Insula gilliganis
Gilligan's Island

Zona crepusculi
The Twilight Zone

Opus: quod fiere non potest
Mission: Impossible

Dies felices
Happy Days

Navis amoris
The Love Boat

Iuvenes inquietesque
The Young and the Restless

Pretium iustum est
The Price is Right

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More Latin phrases

Let the reruns continue!
===============================================
Nescio quid dicas
I don't know what you're talking about

Nemo hic adest illius nominis
There is no one here by that name

Ita erat quando hic adveni.
It was that way when I got here

Nihil declaro
I have nothing to declare

Vescere bracis meis
Eat my shorts

Noli me vocate. Ego te vocabo.
Don't call me. I'll call you.

Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione
I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult

Canis meus id comedit
My dog ate it

Die dulci freure
Have a nice day

Fac ut vivas
Get a life

Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem
Stand aside, little people! I am here on official business

Utinam barbari spatioum proprium tuum invadant
May barbarians invade your personal space

Romani quidem artem amatoriam invenerunt...
You know, the Romans invented the art of love...

Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant
May conspirators assasinate you in the hall

Magister mundi sum!
I am the master of the universe!

Radix lecti
Couch potato

Unitam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant
May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy

Cogito ergo sum
I think, therefore I am

Cogito ergo doleo
I think, therefore I am depressed

Senito aliquos togatos contra me conspirare
I think some people in togas are plotting against me

Nihili est - in vita priore ego imperator romanus fui
That's nothing; in a previous life I was a Roman Emperor

Aio, quantitas magna frumentorum est
Yes, that is a very large amount of corn

Perscriptio in manibus tabellariorum est
The check is in the mail

Non illigitamus carborundum
Don't let the bastards grind you down

Nonne macescis?
Have you lost weight?

Minime senuisti!
You haven't aged a bit!

Id tibi praebet speciem lepidissimam!
It looks great on you!

Capillamentum? Haudquaquam conieci esse!
A wig? I never would have guessed!

Braccae tuae aperiuntur
Your fly is open

Subucula tua apparet
Your slip is showing

In dentibus anticis frustum magnum spiniciae habes
You have a big piece of spinach in your front teeth

Abutebaris modo subjunctivo
You've been misusing the subjunctive

Heus, hic nos omnes in agmine sunt!
Hey, we're all in line here!

Non, mihi ignosce, credo me insequentem esse
No, excuse me, I believe I'm next

Nonne de novo eboraco venis?
You're from New York, aren't you?

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Little known Latin phrases

Okay, so this is a repost. Think of it as a rerun of a beloved TV show.
============================================

Quo signo nata es?
What's your sign?

Mihi ignosce. Cum homine de cane debeo congredi

Excuse me. I've got to see a man about a dog

Viri sunt Viri.
Men are slime.

Romani quidem artem amatoriam invenerunt.
You know, the Romans invented the art of love.

O! Plus! Perge! Aio! Hui! Hem!
Oh! More! Go on! Yes! Ooh! Ummm!

Spero nos familiares mansuros.
I hope we'll still be friends.

Mellita, domi adsum.
Honey, I'm home.

Valui ad satanam in computatrum meum invocandum.
I succeeded in summoning satan into my computer.

Isto pensitaris?
You get paid for this crap?

Absum!
I'm outta here!

Certamen Bikini-Suicidus-Disci mox coepit?
Does the Bikini-Suicide-Frisbee match start soon?

Me oportet propter praeceptum te nocere,
I'm going to have to hurt you on principle.

Tam exanimis quam tunica nehru fio.
I am as dead as the nehru jacket.

Ventis secundis, tene cursum.
Go with the flow.

Totum dependeat.

Let it all hang out.!

Fac me cocleario vomere!
Gag me with a spoon!

Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.

I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.

Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?
Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?

Prehende uxorem meam, sis!
Take my wife, please!

Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Nihil est-in vita priore ego imperator Romanus fui.
That's nothing-in a previous life I was a Roman Emperor.

Aio, quantitas magna frumentorum est.
Yes, that is a very large amount of corn.

Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem!
Stand aside plebians! I am on imperial business.

Oblitus sum perpolire clepsydras!
I forgot to polish the clocks!

Vescere bracis meis.
Eat my shorts.

Sic faciunt omnes.
Everyone is doing it.

Vacca foeda
Stupid cow

Fac ut vivas.
Get a life.

Raptus regaliter
Royally screwed

Anulos qui animum ostendunt omnes gestemus!
Let's all wear mood rings!

Insula Gilliganis
Gilligan's Island

Mater tua criceta fuit, et pater tuo redoluit bacarum sambucus.
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

orbes volantes exstare
Flying saucers are real

Latro! Fremo!
Woof woof! Grrrr!

si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus lainis alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!
If you can read this sign, you can get a job in the fast paced, high-paying(!) world of Latin!

balaenae nobis conservandae sunt
Save the whales!

sona si latine loqueris
Honk if you speak Latin!

ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum!
Don't you dare erase my hard drive!

Huc accedit Zambonis
Here comes the Zamboni!

alterum ictum faciam.
I'm going to take a mulligan

lapsus nivium!
Avalanche!!

Quid est illa in auqua?
What's that in the water?

Pistrix! Pistrix!

Shark! Shark!

Furnulum pani nolo
I don't want a toaster

Latine loqui coactus sum

I have this compulsion to speak Latin

Machina improba! Vel mihi ede potum vel mihi redde nummos meos!
You infernal machine! Give me a beverage or give me my money back!

Ut si!
As if!

Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
I have a catapult. Give me all your money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.

Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare.
I think some people in togas are plotting against me.

Noli me vocate, ego te vocabo.
Don't call me, I'll call you.

Cave ne ante ullas catapultas ambules.
If I were you, I wouldn't walk in front of any catapults.

Canis meus id comedit.
My dog ate it.

Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.
I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult.

Re vera, potas bene.
Say, you sure are drinking alot.

Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant!
May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy!

Non sum pisces.
I am not a fish.

Vah! Denuone Latine loquebar? Me ineptum. Interdum modo elabitur.
Oh! Was I speaking Latin again? Silly me. Sometimes it just sort of slips out.

Non est mea culpa.
It's not my fault.

Non calor sed umor est qui nobis incommodat.
It's not the heat, it's the humidity.

Di! Ecce hora! Uxor mea me necabit!
God, look at the time! My wife will kill me!

Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.
When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults.

Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem.
In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags.

Nullo metro compositum est.
It doesn't rhyme.

Non curo. Si metrum non habet, non est poema.
I don't care. If it doesn't rhyme, it isn't a poem.

Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri?
How do you get your hair to do that?

Feles mala!
Bad kitty!

Neutiquam erro
I am not lost.

Hocine bibo aut in eum digitos insero?
Do I drink this or stick my fingers in it?

Re vera, potas bene
Say, you sure are drinking a lot.

Illiud Latine dici non potest
You can't say that in Latin.

Solum potestis prohibere ignes silvarum.
Only you are can prevent forest fires.

Fac ut gaudeam.
Make my day.

Sola lingua bona est lingua mortua.
The only good language is a dead language.

Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit.
To boldly go where no man has gone before.

Postatem obscuri lateris nescitis.
You do not know the power of the dark side.

Clamo, clamatis, omnes clamamus pro glace lactis.
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.

Magnus frater spectat te...
Big Brother is watching you....

Monstra mihi pecuniam!
Show me the money!

Lege atque lacrima.
Read 'em and weep

Vacca, vacca, vacca
Cow, cow, cow.

Id est mihi, id non est tibi!
It is mine, not yours!

Tempus incognitum.
Time unknown.

Labera lege...
Read my lips...

Credo Elvem etiam vivere.
I believe Elvis lives.

Si hoc legere scis, nimium eruditionis habes.
If you can read this, you have too much education.

Si tu id aeficas, ei venient. Ager Somnia
If you build it, they will come

Cogito sumere potum alterum.
I think I’ll have another drink.

Noli nothis permittere te terere.
Don’t let the bastards get you down.

Duc, sequere, aut de via decede.
Lead, follow, or get out of the way.

Paucis verbis, quid est deconstructionismus?
What, in a nutshell, is deconstructionism?

More to follow. Lots more.

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March 04, 2008

In honor of Gary Gygax

So Gary Gygax has passed away. I guess he didn't make his System Shock roll.

From Wizbang comes this test, which tells me what D&D character I am. Not surprisingly, it's the Lawful StupidGood kind:


I Am A: Lawful Good Human /Cleric (3rd/2nd Level)


Ability Scores:

Strength-15

Dexterity-14

Constitution-17

Intelligence-17

Wisdom-13

Charisma-14


Alignment:
Lawful Good A lawful good character acts as a good person is expected or required to act. He combines a commitment to oppose evil with the discipline to fight relentlessly. He tells the truth, keeps his word, helps those in need, and speaks out against injustice. A lawful good character hates to see the guilty go unpunished. Lawful good is the best alignment you can be because it combines honor and compassion. However, lawful good can be a dangerous alignment because it restricts freedom and criminalizes self-interest.


Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.


Primary Class:
Monks are versatile warriors skilled at fighting without weapons or armor. Good-aligned monks serve as protectors of the people, while evil monks make ideal spies and assassins. Though they don't cast spells, monks channel a subtle energy, called ki. This energy allows them to perform amazing feats, such as healing themselves, catching arrows in flight, and dodging blows with lightning speed. Their mundane and ki-based abilities grow with experience, granting them more power over themselves and their environment. Monks suffer unique penalties to their abilities if they wear armor, as doing so violates their rigid oath. A monk wearing armor loses their Wisdom and level based armor class bonuses, their movement speed, and their additional unarmed attacks per round.


Secondary Class:
Clerics act as intermediaries between the earthly and the divine (or infernal) worlds. A good cleric helps those in need, while an evil cleric seeks to spread his patron's vision of evil across the world. All clerics can heal wounds and bring people back from the brink of death, and powerful clerics can even raise the dead. Likewise, all clerics have authority over undead creatures, and they can turn away or even destroy these creatures. Clerics are trained in the use of simple weapons, and can use all forms of armor and shields without penalty, since armor does not interfere with the casting of divine spells. In addition to his normal complement of spells, every cleric chooses to focus on two of his deity's domains. These domains grants the cleric special powers, and give him access to spells that he might otherwise never learn. A cleric's Wisdom score should be high, since this determines the maximum spell level that he can cast.


Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)

Ace had the most appropriate line:


He will be remembered by many geeks of a certain age for helping making long-lasting painful celibacy seem almost hip and cool (almost), and also, sadly, for undermining Israel's ability to defend herself from her enemies.

I'm a gamer from way back. I played D&D from the original 3 paperbacks (Men and Magic being the first) before the first edition advanced rules came out. Add in my physics major and I simply had to beat the women off with sticks in college. Sure, that's how it was.

Update: Be sure to check out this article from the Cimmerian.

Update: Order of the Stick eulogizes Gygax in its own, unique fashion.

Link via Twenty Sided.

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