August 25, 2009
My sister-in-law asked me, when I told her that I had taken ballet in college, this: Did you do it to pick up girls?
I replied with an anecdote from Monk. Adrian was showing an old home video to Natalie in which he's standing mostly behind a tree. The following dialogue ensued (paraphrased except for the last sentence):
Natalie: What are you doing there?
Monk: I'm playing Hide.
Natalie: Oh, you mean Hide and Seek.
Monk: You just don't get it, do you?
Even if I had been so inclined, my pitiful, pathetic, painfully ridiculous overtures would have been met with, at best, pity. More likely though, is the probability that I'd have been introduced to the Point and Laugh response. Again.
While I can't say that "going into physics was the biggest mistake of my life", I can safely state that going into physics was far and away the biggest girl repelling thing that I've ever done. Sure, I dig women. A lot. Sadly, I must have dug Shroedinger's Time Dependent Wave Equation more.
Don't pity me. I'm just not worth it.
Going into physics was the biggest mistake of my life. I should've declared CS. I still wouldn't have any women, but at least I'd be rolling in cash.
Well, I did meet my wife while working in CS/IT, so I think that the author has a point.
August 20, 2009
As I have noted with footnotes and authoritative citations previously, Contessa Brewer is a dirty, lying, pus-mouthed whore.
A cheap, sore-riddled nasty bit of gutterscrunge who'll rent you her mouth for the change in your pocket.
A tawdry wallow-trollop oozing with syphilitic fester who raises her filthy skirts at the scent of crack-smoke.
A disease-dripping pincushion, the media's vile mattress of last resort, a pathogen in garish vinyl high heels, a loose-toothed croup-breathed nightcrawler reeking of bathtub gin, fungicide, and the genetic stink of human desperation.
A skanky bit of mung-trash sloughing off diseased skin like a leprous snake. (A leprous snake who whores out her verminous cloaca for two bits a pop, I mean.)
This sad clown of a whore, oozing with foul custard and slack and sloppy as an over-used trash bag, is too stupid to know how to lie judiciously, and so lies promiscuously and wantonly, demonstrating all the discretion she once showed in junior high when her nickname was "Automatic" Brewer.
By the way: No, I don't think Contessa Brewer really "did" this. She's too stupid. She doesn't have that kind of responsibility. Her job is to wear a wonderbra, eat rice pudding with a "safety spoon," blow the line producer, and read the phonetically-spelled questions someone else writes for her.
It's beautiful. ::sniff::
August 19, 2009
August 10, 2009
Some years back, Dennis Miller opined that when some slack-jawed redneck could have sex with Cindy Crawford from the comfort of his couch, it would make crack look like Pez. That day might not be too far off.
I know what you're thinking: pervert. But be honest and admit that the idea appeals to you, too.
August 07, 2009
So yes, John, the Atlantic's economics expert didn't realize just how much the kind of regulations Democrats are now pushing had managed to screw up New York's health insurance market. In trying, while writing a blog post on the fly, to err on the side of charity towards my ideological opponents, I grossly misled my readers. Massive state interference in the insurance market is clearly much, much worse than I--the eternal pessimist!--managed to imagine. Thanks for calling that oversight to my attention.
Gigantic asshole: nothing. Megan McArdle: Two.
There seems to be a bit of confusion among Democrats about the nature of the opposition to their plans. Maybe I can help clear things up, by telling them a few things about us.
Our support for a massive government program does not increase when you tell us were not allowed to ask questions about it.
We dont like having to fight desperate battles to save our freedom and future from socialist politicians every ten or twenty years. We dont like having our time wasted with trillion-dollar statist fantasies, when our government is already trillions of dollars in the red. Were tired of checking the papers each day, to see which group of us has been targeted as enemies of the State. Were growing impatient waiting for the Democrats to come up with ideas that dont require their supporters to hate someone. Weve had our fill of progressives who act as if were living in 1909, and none of their diseased policies have ever been tried before.
We dont blame people for showing up to grab their share of a government handout. We blame the people who stole the money from the rest of us, and put it on the table for them. We dont think respect for private property ends at a certain income level, or that only some people should be applauded for doing their best to get ahead in life. We believe in the power and righteousness of capitalism, the exchange of goods and services between free people acting in their own best interests. There is no moral substitute for it. Every other scheme for governing human affairs amounts to a few dominating some, to the applause of others. Our freedom is not for sale, and we reserve the right to defend it from theft.
You know the drill.
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