October 29, 2009
So to stop the Earth from burning up in a CO2 induced conflagration, I should
- Unbirth my children
- Eat my pets
- Stop taking hot showers
- Stop eating meat
- Replace my sub-compact with an even smaller piece of crap that costs more than twice as much as my current vehicle and is likely to need replacement before it passes the 100k mileage mark.
Is that about right? If I do all these things, Gaia will love me and showers blessings on me and mine?
Let's get one thing clear: Gaia is worth whatever I can extract from her wrinkled, rocky hide, and not one thing more.
October 21, 2009
So it's possible that this guy will get convicted, pay a $2000 fine and spend up to a year in jail. He might even have to register as a sex offender. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with this picture?
March 11, 2009
However. Cole has ceased to be a person with a functioning brain, or any sense of consistency. If a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, Mr. Cole has the most colossal brain of all time. Whereas Cole used to think things through, bashing Republicans and Democrats alike, he's now become more predictable than a DU commenter, less sane that your average Indymedia pundit and more idioticly rancerous than Howard Dean on horse steroids. In short, he's become a clown, and a bad one at that. All that's missing are the rubber nose and the big red shoes. Here are Cole's Rules for Posting:
1) Republicans suck!
2) Obama is so dreamy.
3) Everything bad that happens is the fault of the Repulicans.
4) Anything good, like finding out that belly lint tastes like licorice, is always, always because the Democrats fart cinnamon flavored rainbows.
5) All criticism of GOPers is sane and well deserved
6) Any criticism of Democrats is always beyond the pale, even if said Democrat was caught buggering a nun while robbing an orphanage.
7) And by the way, Republicans suck.
Crikey, even the Huffington Joke and DU occasionally visit the realm of sanity. Apparently, though, sanity is just another racist code word for RethugliKKKans.
Any readers of this blog-thanks to both of you- would have noticed that I'm not a Republican, but rather a libertarian leaning conservative.
"Racist! Hater! KKK!...."
Shut up, John. Go back and suck your thumb.
Anyway. I've been probably more critical of the GOP than most Democrats. However, despite my ocassional fits of pique, I'm almost never mistaken for a rabid Rottweiller hopped up on smack and gunpowder. This, of course, prevents me from finding much common ground with Mr. Cole these days.
I'll paraphrase what someone, I think it was Spoons, once said while referring to Sullivan: "I don't care that Cole has become a Democrat. I care that he's become a dick."
February 17, 2009
Psst! The government is the servant and the people are the masters. Pass it on.
October 14, 2008
I know that there are a large number of people who are not only okay with high gas prices, they wish that prices would spike up around $10 a gallon. To those people I offer the following helpful advice: please go fuck yourself before sticking your head in the over. Seriously. High fuel costs equals higher food costs, higher heating/cooling costs, higher clothing costs, higher pretty much everything unless you're a complete dunderhead. You might be okay with paying a buttload for everything, but I, not being rich, am most decidedly not.
You think that pain drives research into new technologies? That makes you stupid. Sure, it provides a little impetus, but if people are worried about heating/cooling their homes and feeding their families, they aren't going to spend a lot of time and money on vaporware. That includes businesses. Higher energy costs mean higher costs of doing business which means, usually, that some divisions/departments get cut. Having worked in R&D before, I can tell you that research divisions are not the most directly profitable sections of a company. Until or unless something pays off, they are usually a drain on resources.
For the record, I would love for some new energy technology to be created. However, it has to be (a) proven, (b) scalable (you keep ignoring that, don't you?), (c) affordable and (d) available 24x7 because things need to run when it's dark outside. If the technology doesn't meet those criteria, then it's worthless.
One other thing: you people who tout electric cars have really got to figure out where all that electricity is going to come from to charge the batteries, because I really want to know. Maybe from the unicorns that Obama will give us all, but I'm not really counting on that. Besides, unicorns taste like chicken.
Link via the Instamonster.
June 11, 2008
June 05, 2008
"Gee, I really miss that lighthouse."
::driving down the road with a friend::
"Hey, look at the lighthouse. It looks exactly like the one that was torn down. "
"Yeah, that's interesting. Anyway, as I was saying, I really miss that old lighthouse..."
Okay, I realize that Cape Cod and California are on different coasts, but I'm still trying to figure out how this could have happened.
April 03, 2008
I know what you're thinking: why don't I visit more rational leftist sites like the Daily Kos or the DU? Well, to be fair, while those places are absolutely teeming with idiots, morons and assorted brain donors, they still fall far short of the over the top, sanctimonious, pretzel-twisting non-logic routinely employed by Mr. Cole. Also, it's kind of fun to watch his continued descent into the cesspool. Who knows? He might fall in headfirst and open his mouth to yell for help.
Anyway, the most recent funny typed by John Cole was, I'm sure, completely unintentional. He twice linked to Glenn Greenwald (or a Sock Puppet book) and use the appellation Glennzilla.
Yeah, I know. I'll give you a few minutes to compose yourself. The thought that any rational or honest person would give Lampchop such undeserved props is a sign of, well, I guess it only matters that Gleen hates Bush. And really, if you're only motivating factor on whether or not to agree with someone depends purely on how he/she emote towards a politician, you're really not worth talking about. Sure, you'll be good for the occasional point-and-laugh moment, but you might as well stop pretending that you're actually some sort of honest arbiter of the truth.
March 31, 2008
Just think of the money spent on tetanus shots.
Link via News of the Weird Daily.
March 07, 2008
Then today, I decided to read the comments in a different post and-
You can already see where this is going, can't you?
-lo and behold, there was my comment in all of its profane glory, completely unrelated to the post under which it appears. It makes me look like I suffer from some severe sort of blogging Tourette's Syndrome. No one commented on the incongruity of the comment in relation to the post because, I suppose, no one wanted to make fun of someone so obviously borderline retarded.
Rachel, if you read this, the comment at 4:29 belongs in the post about Barack Obama's insane wife, not the one with the American Idol shemale.
August 10, 2007
Maybe next he can get his groinal junk trimmed down so that his pants fit better. Moron.
Update: Turns out that I've been punk'd. In this particular instance, I'm actually glad that that turned out to be the case.
August 09, 2007
1) Read a book. And I've actually seen some dimwits driving down the road with an open book sitting on their steering wheels.
2) Typing on your effing laptop. I mean seriously, WTF? But hey, you can now save $10 on your mobile suicide device so, you know, weed yourself out of the gene pool if you see the need. Just do it on a lonely stretch of road so as not to take anyone else with you.
April 10, 2007
Anti-smoking groups have been pushing the MPAA to give any movie that shows smoking an automatic R rating.
According to the research of a group called "Smoke Free Movies", most PG-13 movies depict smoking, and that contributes to hundreds of thousands of kids taking up cigarettes.
The MPAA's new boss, Dan Glickman, sent a letter addressing the MPAA's concerns about smoking in movies and said the MPAA was turning to the Harvard School of Public Health for guidance. "My objective is to gain consensus among the member companies of MPAA on Harvard's pending recommendations, and then begin implementation," he said.
Dan, please feel free to go fuck yourself anytime that you feel like. Hopefully, you're feeling that way right now.
December 28, 2006
Motorists who seem to turn off their brain when switching on their car's satellite navigation system have had a number of spectacular crashes in the past year -- but occasionally they're right to blame the machine.
Drivers obeying directions given by a sultry satnav voice have crashed into rivers, construction sites and roadside toilets in Germany, and had similar accidents in Britain.
"It's hard to understand how these things can happen," said Maximilian Maurer, spokesman for the German motoring club
"It's not as if people are driving in a tank with only a small slit to see out. You'd think they have their own eyes and brains engaged to make decisions and not rely on the satnav. I used to think satnavs were 'idiot-proof', but perhaps not."
In October a 53-year-old German, obeying his satnav's command "Turn right now!" jerked the wheel over and crashed into a roadside toilet hut 30 metres (yards) before the crossing he was meant to take, causing 2,000 euros ($2,600) damage.
A few weeks earlier, an 80-year-old motorist also followed his satnav instead of common sense and ignored a "closed for construction" sign on a Hamburg motorway. He hit a pile of sand at high speed but was not hurt.
Holy shit. George Carlin once quipped that "The average person is pretty fucking stupid, and half the people are dumber than that." I think that he understated a bit.
May 16, 2006
An Ohio man is headed to court because he was arrested for driving his lawn mower while drunk.
The Vermilion man has been ticketed three times in six months for drunken driving, but this is the first time he was operating the mower.
An officer arrested Doni Bowles at 10 p.m. last Friday when he spotted him driving the lawn mower on a sidewalk. The officer said Bowles smelled of alcohol and his speech was slurred.
He arrested Bowles after giving him a field sobriety test, then Bowles registered a blood alcohol of .144 - almost twice the legal limit.
Bowles admitted had been drinking but said he thought driving his lawn mower 10 m.p.h. on the sidewalk was OK.
"I didn't know you could get a DUI on a bike or a lawnmower," Bowles said. "That's the difference. If I knew that, I would've walked."
Police say he drove the mower to a store about a mile from his home and was arrested on his way back.
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