April 30, 2005

Catching up

Found the following snippet over at Lileks. Methinks that Randy Andy might keep this sort of thing in mind. Excerpt:

I have my doctrinal differences with the Catholic church as well; I understand the reasons for requiring priestly celibacy, but I don’t agree with them. I don’t agree with many Catholic positions on issues regarding sexuality. Growing up Lutheran, I was gently guided away from the clanging errancy of Maryolatry. Because I disagree with the Catholic Church on these and a few other matters, I am– how do I put this? – NOT CATHOLIC. Hence I am always amazed by people who want the church to accommodate their thoughts, their new beliefs, their precarious and ingenious rationales, instead of ripping themselves from the bosom and seeking a congregation that doesn't make them feel like a heretic banging thier head on Filarete's doors. To those who want profound change, consider an outsider’s perspective: the Catholic Church is the National Review of religion. You may live long enough to see it become the Weekly Standard. In your dreams it might become the New Republic. But it’s never going to be the Nation. And if ever it does, it will have roughly the same subscriber base.

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April 29, 2005

Dork link of the day

And it belongs, of course, to Ace. Check out this commercial found via the wayback machine. It brings back memories of my childhood. And last Friday. But that's another story.

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April 22, 2005

See y'all around next week

I realize that I'm violating one of Harvey's cardinal blog rules by telling you this, but I'll be away on vacation until next weekend. No computer, no posting.

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April 21, 2005


They killed The Hitchhiker's Guide To the Galaxy! You bastards!!

I'm not certain whether to weep or have a seizure. Just yesterday I told my wife that "They'd better not screw up this movie." And yes, I'll probably watch the damned thing just so I'll be in the right frame of mind to light the torches before stormin' the castle.

Thanks?? to Vox for the link.

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When humor and romance novels collide

All those book covers with partially disrobed women displaying the effects of push-up bras swooning before Fabio look-alikes tend to disguise some of the worst prose in the history of mankind. Truthfully, the covers suck as much as what's inside. Longmire decided to Photoshop a few. Excerpt:

His readers also got into the act.

And finally, some of the dirtier book covers. Click on the extended entry.


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April 20, 2005

Wretched humor for the day

Received the following via email. They're old, and they're all gag-inducing. And yes, I already knew all of them. That probably doesn't bode well for my mental health:

1. A vulture boarded a plane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess stopped him and said, "Sorry sir, only one carrion per passenger."

2. NASA recently sent a number of Holsteins into orbit for experimental purposes. They called it the herd shot round the world.

3. Two boll weevils grew up in S. Carolina. One took off to Hollywood and became a rich star. The other stayed in Carolina and never amounted to much--and naturally became known as the lesser of two weevils.

4. Two Eskimos in a kayak were chilly, so they started a fire, which sank the craft, proving the old adage you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

5. A 3-legged dog walks into an old west saloon, slides up to the bar and announces, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

6. Did you hear about the Buddhist who went to the dentist and refused to take Novocain? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

7. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and met in the lobby where they were discussing their recent victories in chess tournaments. The hotel manager came out of the office after an hour, and asked them to disperse. He couldn't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

8. A woman has twins, gives them up for adoption. One goes to an Egyptian family and is named "Ahmal" The other is sent to a Spanish family and is named "Juan". Years later, Juan sends his birth mother a picture of himself. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. He replies, "They're twins for Pete's sake!! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal!!"

9. A group of friars opened a florist shop to help with their belfry payments. Everyone liked to buy flowers from the Men of God, so their business flourished. A rival florist became upset that his business was suffering because people felt compelled to buy from the Friars, so he asked the Friars to cut back hours or close down. The Friars refused. So the florist then hired Hugh McTaggert, the biggest meanest thug in town. He went to the Friars' shop, beat them up, destroyed their flowers, trashed their shop, and said that if they didn't close, he'd be back. Well, totally terrified, the Friars closed up shop and hid in their rooms. This proved that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

10. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot his whole life, which created an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from very bad breath. This made him.... what? (This is so bad it's good...) --a super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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And it's a twofer, thereby doubling your pleasure. Don't bother to Sully your hands with Photoshop; Allah, over at Ace, and WuzzaDem are in the house.

Update: Professor Bainbridge has more. Money quote:

So why is Sullivan so worked up? Here's his real gripe in his own words:

... the impermissibility of any sexual act that does not involve the depositing of semen in a fertile uterus ....

It's always about sex with Andrew, isn't it?

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I wonder if I can put in my order now?

Looks like Michele might finally get her wish: flying cars are about to become a reality. Excerpt:

And here’s the good news -- a lot of people are building machines you’ll be
able to buy.

One of those people is an inventor named Woody Norris. This week, he will receive America’s top prize for invention. It’s called the Lemelson-MIT award -- a half-million dollar cash prize to honor his life’s work, which includes a brand new personal flying machine. Correspondent Bob Simon reports.

It's called the AirScooter, and self-taught inventor Woody Norris says it goes on sale later this year.

Norris, 66, asked one of his test pilots to demonstrate the AirScooter for 60 Minutes on a hilltop outside San Diego, Calif. It can fly for 2 hours at 55 mph, and go up to 10,000 feet above sea level.

"Look how quickly it stops, hovers, sideways, sideways, straight down," Norris tells Simon.

Everything is controlled from the motorcycle-like handle bar. Push it forward and the two counter-rotating blades pivot forward. Push it back and it goes back. Norris says you won’t need a pilot’s license if you fly it under 400 feet in non-restricted air space. And he’s going to sell it for $50,000.

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Today's forecast

Scattered flying sausages, with automobile collisions out of the northwest.

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Time to start kicking ass

I'm going to send money to the campaigns of whoever the Democrats run against Senator George Voinovich of Ohio and Senator Chuck Hagel of Nebraska. Why are they dicking around? Are they afraid the NY Times won't like them? Wait until they see what it's like when the Republican voters don't like you.

I think I've determined the one necessary qualification for a UN ambassabor that the Democrats will aprove of: someone who bends over for some hot Kofi.

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April 19, 2005

Firefox security patch

Well, you knew that hackers would eventually target Firefox. Here's the fix.

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Computer games that you can play from beginning to end in little more than an hour

Sounds pretty good to me, especially with two small children in the house. Anywa, some details found here and here. Interestingly enough, the game Supremacy sounds suspiciously like one of my favorite old board games, Stellar Conquest. You, and up to three opponents, begin at the 4 corners of the galaxy. You colonize planets, improve your technology, build warships and attempt to conquer the universe. This game provided my first introduction to probability and permutations due to the different die-roll combinations required to win during combat. Suffice it to say that the ability to work complex fractions in my head-quickly- proved quite useful. Unfortunately, I played with other geeks and gearheads, so my advantage was essentially nill.

By the way, if anyone knows where I can aquire a copy of Stellar Conquest, let me know. I've checked at numerous gaming conventions and over the Internet. No results yet. Maybe you'll have better luck.

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Oh, that liberal media

What do you do when some asshats throw pies at speakers with whom they disagree? I guess that you can blame the victim or claim some sort of moral high ground for the pie-thrower. This article accomplishes both. Nice. Here's an excerpt:

The last few days have seen the predictable lament that the pie-throwers represent the worst thing about democracy—people so inarticulate that the only way they can counter such toxic thinkers as Coulter is to seize the moral low ground by trying to curtail their free speech.

That is far too simple an argument. Throwing a pie at someone who deserves it is one of the most celebrated traditions in our so-called culture.
Clearly, throwing a pie at a lecturer is anathema to serious debate. But what’s worse is the quality of pie-throwing today. Coulter was barely grazed. A PETA pie-hurler a few years ago hit Agriculture Secretary Dan Glickman in the back (the back!). Horowitz had more pie on his shirt than on his face. Perhaps, the pie itself is the culprit.

I will assume by this writer's tone that conservative pie-throwers will be welcomed with open arms at Hillary!'s next press conference.

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Err America update

My wife and I watched the HBO special about the birth of Air America. Kind of funny, and yet somehow pathetic. I started wondering how the hole "BusHitlerHalliburtonWMDLIESLIESLIES!" thing was going. Fortunately for me, I didn't have to wonder too long. Dirty Harry over at Jackson's Junction has the goods. Excerpt:

Liberals want the facts confronted and then to be told why it was the United Nations that made Iraq free or why it was Clinton policies that caused the rise of freedom in the Middle East. They want an intellectual, logical, and compassionate explanation of why the Bush successes are luck and how liberalism birthed them. Instead they get diversions and non-sequiters about Hitler and Halliburton.

I heard Dennis Miller confront Harry Shearer about the success in the Middle East and ask about giving Bush a little credit for it. Shearer refused to even pretend he was asked the question and went on and on about how we would invade Iran and how Bolton was this or that. It was pathetic. Miller asked again. Same response.

Conservatives turn to talk radio to hear, among many things, why we're right. In the face of it all, please tell us why we're still right. Air America can't do that. All they can do is ignore the question. That's mighty cold comfort and no way create to a revolution.

Update: I'm always behind the times. Of course Michelle Malkin was onto this story before me. Of course she was.

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Steve Zahn will burn in Hell for this. Burn! I tell you. Excerpt:

He told the Calgary Sun: "Right after I finished Sahara, I flew off to a desert in Mexico to film Bandidas with Penelope and Salma Hayek.

"It's set in 1888 in Mexico. Penelope and Salma are a pair of Robin Hood-style bank robbers. I'm the American detective who's sent down to Mexico to capture them.

"They capture me and blackmail me by taking some risque photos of the three of us. I end up tied up naked on a bed with Salma and Penelope. I spent three days naked with the girls."

I think if you look up the word "prick" in the dictionary, you'll find Zahn's picture next to it. Think I'm wrong? Check out the extended entry. more...

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April 18, 2005

Terri Schiavo revisited

Patterico makes an analysis of the legal arguments surrounding the Schiavo case and concludes that the courts should have granted the temporary injunction to reinsert the feedin tube. As always, a worthy read.

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Creating a new supply sider

Okay, maybe not, but Megan McCardle is (rightly) kvetching about the compensatory taxes she's forced to pay. Excerpt:

It is at times like this that I start to believe the supply siders, even though the empirical evidence for their propositions is pretty shaky. Book reviews look a lot less attractive when I net 47 cents on the dollar--why not have my evenings and weekends to myself, instead? Why not move to New Jersey, where I can get rid of my city tax, lower my state tax, and pay less sales tax to boot? Or if my parents hadn't weighted me down with all these middle American ideas about obeying the law and playing it straight and narrow--and I didn't have a morbid fear of going to jail--I could take the "poor man's tax shelter" and ask my employers to move my income off the books. This is what economists call deadweight loss, and as Zimran Ahmed points out, estimates are that the United States government burns about 25 cents this way for every dollar it raises in taxes.

I've no doubt that the liberals who read this will think "Waaa! waaa! Poor educated white professional girl has to pay her taxes." But I was against marginal rates this high before I had to pay them. There is some level at which taxation becomes confiscation, and I'd argue that when you are working more hours for the government than you are for yourself, we have crossed that bright line. By what moral right does the government tell anyone, from Warren Buffet on down, that it has a right to more than half their life?

I believe that the question isn't one of moral authority, but rather the fact that government has lots and lots of big effing guns. Morality doesn't enter into it.

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Check out this article. Excerpt:

For more than a century, it has caused excitement and frustration in equal measure - a collection of Greek and Roman writings so vast it could redraw the map of classical civilisation. If only it was legible.

Now, in a breakthrough described as the classical equivalent of finding the holy grail, Oxford University scientists have employed infra-red technology to open up the hoard, known as the Oxyrhynchus Papyri, and with it the prospect that hundreds of lost Greek comedies, tragedies and epic poems will soon be revealed.

In the past four days alone, Oxford's classicists have used it to make a series of astonishing discoveries, including writing by Sophocles, Euripides, Hesiod and other literary giants of the ancient world, lost for millennia. They even believe they are likely to find lost Christian gospels, the originals of which were written around the time of the earliest books of the New Testament.

The original papyrus documents, discovered in an ancient rubbish dump in central Egypt, are often meaningless to the naked eye - decayed, worm-eaten and blackened by the passage of time. But scientists using the new photographic technique, developed from satellite imaging, are bringing the original writing back into view. Academics have hailed it as a development which could lead to a 20 per cent increase in the number of great Greek and Roman works in existence. Some are even predicting a "second Renaissance".

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Cognitive dissonance

So the mayor of San Francisco believes that gay marriage is the hot button issue that will lead the Democrats back to the promised land of majority rule. Huh. Apparently the 2004 election results were an aberration. Sure they were.

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Wrong hairstyle for your race?

I guess by this idiotic standard, men shouldn't be allowed to be bald unless they're Greek actors portraying private detectives on television. The lollypop sucking isn't mandatory, though.

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