June 30, 2007
Now I can really show my school colors. Unfortunately, I work with too many people who would probably get it immediately, and I have no desire to get fired this week. So we'll see.
June 29, 2007
Could have been worse, I suppose. It could have been "Bennifer" again. ::shudder::
Anyway, here's Lileks' take on the recent attempt by the Senate to legalize their current gardeners and nannies:
The failure of the immigration bill was a remarkable event, I think but not the first notch in the belt for the new media as some suggest. Its interesting how many of the big victories seem to have been large bites out of the Presidents hide Dubai, Harriet Miers, now this. It shows the power of a swarm concentrated on a particular thing a person, a bill, a specific policy initiative.
I had fun with the subject on the Hewitt show tonight Dean Barnett was chowdah-tawkin in Hughs place, and I found myself describing the Senate as a place where the fizzy effervescent passions of the day are poured into a saucer, where they can go flat and get warm and sticky and attract flies. Good a definition of the Senate as any, I guess. Its like a bowling alley with no pins, circular lanes, and nerf balls.
Note: I believe that this method only recovers passwords up to 14 characters in length. Also, it works up through Windows XP. Vista users need not apply.
June 27, 2007
It makes me a nuts when people forward bogus warnings, and I've even done it myself a couple times, but this one is important. So please send this warning to everyone on your e-mail list.
If someone from the National Center for Tick Control comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warming weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up...
DO NOT DO IT!! IT IS A SCAM!!
They only want to see you naked...
Actually, I hope that Dean doesn't mind, but I'm swiping that picture. It's too good not to share.
June 26, 2007
Okay, no guy would actually call AAA. You know it and I know it. Anyway.
It turns out that some clever woman has come up with a novel use for the tennis ball on the end of your car's antenna. Check out this video:
For the record, my mother used to lock her keys inside her car about twice a year. I bugged her to get one of those Hide-A-Key things and she promptly locked that inside the car with her keyring. This technique would have proven quite useful to her, except I'm convinced that she would have locked the tennis ball inside the car, too.
Girls, let me clue you in on something: you were a group whose success depended almost entirely on the short skirts and tight tops you wore. Sure, you could sing a little bit, but let's face it: your legs and tits were what made you popular. Now that your a bit more mature, shall we say, those parts of your anatomy have probably loosened up a bit.
Quick aside: Ms. Halliwell's parts looked great uncovered. In fact, I almost bought a Spice Girls album in appreciation. Almost.
In any event, it's time to bring this old joke back out of retirement: The Spice Girls Application Form.
The Spice Girls Application Form
- How would you best describe yourself?
( ) An energetic self-starter
( ) A team player
( ) A tasty, albeit untalented, bit of crumpet
- Do you have any detectable vestige of talent, besides your tits?
- Would it bother you to be the target of unrelenting hatred?
- "I am willing to trade sexual favours for a career in the music industry."
( ) Yes ( ) No
- How many times have you been kicked out of a karaoke bar?
- Does nudity bother you? If so, give three excuses for your portfolio.
- Explain the difficulties in identifying the source of individual free will in light of the deterministic theories of neurochemical medicine and modern behavioralist psychology... Just kidding!! Seriously, do you like leather mini-skirts?
( ) Yes ( ) No
- Are you deceptively attractive in coloured or stroboscopic light?
( ) Yes ( ) No
- Choose an appropriate nickname:
Sexy, Nasty, Sweetie, Syphilis, Lardy, Sickly, Sporty, Slappy.
- Choose an appropriate image:
( ) Cute, blonde, appeals to pedophiles
( ) Tub of lard
( ) Bloke. In a tracksuit.
( ) Vacant stare, no discernible brain activity
( ) Terrifying to small children and old men
( ) All of the above
- Do you promise to make one album and then go away forever?
( ) Yes ( ) No
- If two trains leave Liverpool an hour apart at 90 kilometers, and 75 kilometers an hour, respectively, how would you look in a bikini?
- If required as part of your contract, would you be willing to help alleviate Prince Charles's loneliness?
( ) Yes ( ) No
- In space provided, tell us why you want, why you really, really, want this job.
I've got an idea for a Spice Girls pay per view event that's sure to bring in lots of money: strip them all naked and have them wrestle in a vat of Jello, while simultaneously forcing them to do lots of tequila body shots off of the more interesting portions of their exposed anatomy. Now that would be spicy.
June 25, 2007
Rules: Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following. They MUST be real places, names, things...NOTHING made up! If you can't think of anything, skip it.
Try to use different answers if the person before you had the same 1st initial.
You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question... Now Go!
And here's my entry:
Your Name: M_____
1. Famous singer/band: Mamas and the Papas
2. 4 letter word: mutt
3. Street name: Mulberry
4. Color: Maroon
5. Gifts/presents: Money
6. Vehicle: Mazda
7. Things in a Souvenir Shop: Magnet (commemorative)
8. Boy Name: Mark
9. Girl Name: Mathilda
10. Movie Title: "M". No, really.
11. Drink: Margarita
12. Occupation: Magician.
13. Flower: Marigolds
14. Celebrity: Mike Myers
15. Magazine: Mademoiselle
16. U.S. City: Macon
17. Pro Sports Teams: Minnesota Twins
18. Fruit: Mandarin orange
19. Reason for Being Late for Work: Misplaced my car keys
20. Something You Throw Away: Muffins, stale
21. Things You Shout: Motherf*cker!
22. Cartoon Character: Mickey Mouse
With antiquated components flooding the surplus-parts market and free operating systems only a click away, building a fully functional computer has never been such a bargain. No, the $72 PC wont replace your new dual-core, Vista-shredding laptop. But with its compact size and solid-state components (no hard drive or CD drive), its perfect for building into custom enclosures and for specific tasks like Web surfing or playing games. The computer boots from a USB flash drive running an operating system called Damn Small Linux that can handle just about any job.
June 24, 2007
June 21, 2007
Okay, that last question was entirely rhetorical.
Anyway, you probably need a change of pace, something to clean out your mind. Here you go:
June 20, 2007
BTW, from what I've read, the EVDO cards can be a hassle to get up and running. Bill's experience appears to bear that out. However, he's perfectly willing to share his method and madness to anyone who is interested. Be sure to drop him a line if you have questions.
One user down, a gazillion to go.
June 19, 2007
...Despite the courageous reform efforts of far-sighted Republican Senators and of President Bush, the loudest voices in the GOP currently speak in strident, angry, desperate, uncompromising and unmistakably anti-immigrant tones.
Gee Michael, I'm almost at a loss how to respond to your puerile, insane, retarded, moronic and infantile prattle. Almost. Since reason, logic and, obviously, sanity are strangers to you, I'll make a slight breach in ettiquette by leaping over any factual arguments and going straight for the insults and ad hominem attacks.
You, sir, are embarrassment to conservatives everywhere. Your brain, such as it is, not only fails to fire on all cylinders, it's a wonder that can breathe without wearing a iPod that eternally cycles a recorning of "inhale....exhale". In fact, you are so fucking stupid that I'm convinced that, like the dinosaurs, you must have a brain in your ass to help you take a shit. However, unlike the dinosaurs, your assbrain is the larger of the two, which makes sense, since what comes out of your mouth is more putrid, vile, stinky and worthless than what comes out of the other end. At least your crap can be used for fertilizer.
Frankly, Michael, your act has more than worn thin. I will admit that I used to enjoy your occasional forays into the Attila the Hun chair, when you subbed for Rush. But somehow you mistook your modest talent for actual self-importance. I know, I know: you know so much more than the rest of us. I suppose that we should thank you for condescending to lecture to us about how we should act, or what we should do, or how we should vote. The reality is that most of us think that the fact that you have a syndicated column and a radio show is a sign of the end times. Sure, Err America was even more ridiculous that you. The buffoons on that network at least had the entertainment value of clown repeatedly stabbing himself in the eye. You, as I'm sure you're aware, have no such value. In fact, I swear that what fills my daughter's diaper daily has more intrinsic value than you and your opinions do. And quite frankly, her diapers' content disgusts me far less than you do.
I know what you're thinking: if I'm so bothered by you, why don't I simply ignore you? Well Michael, I think that you and I have finally found a point on which we can agree. Don't be too surprised when other coservatives - you know, the ones that you accuse of hating us some brown people- follow suit.
Enjoy yourself. And remember to keep a spare battery around for your iPod. I wouldn't want you to suffocate.
June 16, 2007
If you'll excuse me, I have to clean up some flaming manure.
June 07, 2007
June 06, 2007
1) There are some pretty smart people. And freaking stupid ones.
2) The political divide on blogs is vast, even more so than I anticipated.
3) Bloggers tend to help each other out when the chips are down.
Some of you may remember other bloggers requesting help/money these last few years: Dean; Misha; Lileks; Kevin; Jeff; and other who I cannot remember right now. People came out of the woodwork with donations. It was touching and, more importantly, the donations helped.
Why do I mention this? Because Rick Moran has made a similar request. He would like to keep writing for a living, but he also wants to keep him and his wife fed, clothed and housed. This fund drive could provide Rick with the wherewithal to keep on blogging,
pissing off amusing readers on the right and left. Anyway, please go here and give, if you're so inclined. Every little bit helps.
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