January 25, 2005
EXT. SNOW-COVERED LAND
NICOLAS CAGE and his TEAM OF KICKASS HISTORIANS search for
a ship buried in the snow.
When we find this ship, we'll have
yet another clue to lead us to the
enormous treasure our founding
fathers hid so that no man would
ever get it. I can't wait 'till I
According to my completely random
calculations that can be approximate
at best, the ship should be right
NICOLAS starts digging. After burrowing under about two
inches of snow, he finds something. It's the ship!
INT. FROZEN SHIP
NICOLAS and his CREW go deeper into the ship, and
eventually come to a door that looks frozen solid, which
they open effortlessly. Once inside, they uncover a single
(reading the clue)
"The treasure is a witness."
Hmm. Witness, witness... You need a
witness at a trial. Trial...to make
a case, the prosecution will use
evident! We hold these truths to be
self-evident! The Declaration! The
map to the treasure is on the back
of the Declaration of Independence!
Not so fast, Cage. I'll take this
knowledge and get the treasure
myself! To make matters worse, I
have little to no respect for the
history behind the treasure, and I
think America is stupid! Har har
NICOLAS pulls out a flare and lights it. Sparks land on the
floor, which is literally covered completely in gunpowder.
You kill me, and I drop this. I'd
rather kill us all than allow you to
take the National Treasure, because
America is totally awesome!
Bah! If you drop that, it'll only
light the ground on fire, as if the
gunpowder wasn't so much explosive
as mildly flammable.
What? That's insane, it's
He shoots the gunpowder, which bursts into small,
survivable flames like it was gasoline.
What the hell?
Wait a minute.. Fire.. Gunpowder..
Produced by Jerry Bruckheimer... Oh
NICOLAS and ANNOYING COMIC RELIEF JUSTIN BARTHA escape,
right before a GIGANTIC EXPLOSION!
PRODUCER JERRY BRUCKHEIMER
NATIONAL HISTORY IS THE
MOTHERFUCKING SHIT! YEAH!
Posted by: Lauren at April 29, 2005 11:32 PM (5vj8v)
Posted by: physics geek at May 01, 2005 07:31 PM (agX6E)
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