August 30, 2004
It's not easy being green, Kermit. Friendship can be difficult for many men, though it's not really that hard. It's just about having someone you trust watching your back, and watching theirs in return. But to have a friend you must first be a friend.
It's a two-way street. You have to accept the fact that sometimes you have to put them first, whether that involves not hitting on a smoking-hot girlfriend who's good-to-go or listening to the world's most boring soliloquy on the arcane minutae of import-export law for 45 minutes and occasionally asking questions instead of slitting your wrists. And in return, they won't even think twice about rolling you out of the drunken innermost secrets that have risen from the pit of your stomach thanks to the evils of the shot glass*, lying to anyone that needs lying to, and wading in to beat down someone they don't have anything against just because you can't keep your stupid mouth shut.
*That they bought, the bastards. And landed you in jail. On your birthday.
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