October 19, 2004

Extra! Extra!

There's a sequel to the LOTR in the works: Lord of the Rings: King of the Golden Cricles! Look here for details. Here's an excerpt from the script:

A female VOICE OVER rises over a scene of gentle rolling hills.

Ten years have passed.
The Age of Man spreads across
Middle Earth, now renamed Man Land.

We see crowds of URUK-HAI, chained by the ankles and doing slave labor for human plantation owners. A human overseer cracks a whip and an URUK's ARM falls off in a torrent of blood.

But still, a sense of unease lays heavy
over the men and women of Man Land
as they watch warily for
the Other Eye of Sauron.

We see a CAVE. Out of the mouth pokes the familiar face of GOLLUM, now covered in bandages. GOLLUM looks around nervously, then leans back in and continues applying SALVE to his burns.

DISSOLVE to a scene in HOBBITON, where happy HOBBITS are frantically building their little town into a thriving city. MILLS and IRON WORKS are built along the river, turning out goods at a record pace. The furnaces of industry grind into the future.

And in the land of the Hobbits
a new era has also come to pass.
The legendary Bilbo Baggins, having spent
a decade in the Grey Havens,
finally succumbed to a mortal
case of Hobbit Rot.

Open on a banner, spread across a massive celebration. This is the FUNERAL OF BILBO BAGGINS.

The world has moved on.

We see an older and wiser SAMWISE GAMGEE, now the SHERIFF OF HOBBITON, making the rounds of party goers.

MERRY and PIPPEN arrive, on an elaborate STAGE COACH being driven by six URUK-HAI in loincloths.

We do not see FRODO. Also noticably absent, is GANDALF.

The URN containing the pink, jellied remains of BILBO is prayed to and then drank by his heirs through straws.

There's more! Read it all.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 05:32 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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