Yesterday, a friend reminded me of Charlton Heston's 1993 appearance on SNL, which included this classic opening sequence:

[ open on Charlton Heston in his dressing room, sitting on the couch and talking into a mini-cassette recorder ]

Charlton Heston: And this completes my final journal entry, before I host the show. Eleven.. twenty-five P.M., December 4th A.D., 1993.

Joe Dicso: [ peeking in ] Five minutes, Mr. Heston.

Charlton Heston: Fine, Joe. I'll just, uh.. lie down for a couple of minutes.

[ Heston lies across the couch, as he again speaks into his mini-cassette recorder ]

You know, there's one thing still bothering me: Is man truly meant to be funny? I just don't know.

[ Heston falls asleep, as the clock on the wall spins at a rapid pace ]

[ the years zoom by - 1994.. 1995.. 1996.. 2000.. 2050.. 2200.. stopping at 3978 ]

[ Heston wakes from his nap, now bearded and dazed ]

Charlton Heston: Wha..? what time is it..? I.. overslept.. Why the hell didn't somebody wake me..?

[ Heston stumbles into the empty hall, failing to notice the framed photos of apes lining the walls ]

Charlton Heston: Hello? Somebody! Any.. hello..? Where is every.. Hello?! Hello..! [ echoes ] What's going on here, anyway?

[ Heston approaches the doors to the studio, flanked with futuristic scarecrows from the "Planet of the Apes" movie. The familiar music sting eminates upon their image, then cuts as Heston notices the back of a stagehand inside the doorway ]

Charlton Heston: Oh. There's somebody. Hey! sir? Hello?

[ the stagehand turns around - it's an ape ]

Charlton Heston: Aaagghh!! [ runs down the hall ] Oh, my God! It's happening again!

Sadly, I've searched and cannot find that particular video anywhere. The NRA spoof ad he did on SNL? That I can find, plus numerous other parodies. But not "The Studio of the Apes". Actually, I can find it after he's already been captured by the apes. He's got the two apes holding his choke collar while talking to the studio audience of apes. Pretty funny. But I can't find the beginning part where he does off and the clock spins forward. If anyone out there knows where that particular video is, please let me know.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 07:29 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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