The latest Alliance homework presents an interesting dilemna: do I attempt to answer factually, or do I simply snark my way through the assignment. I guess it doesn't matter because whatever I write is almost guaranteed to be more accurate than the major news outlets. In any event, here's the deal:

What excuses will the "unbiased" major media outlets give for not covering Kerry's lies about Viet Nam?

1) "I've been busy standing in line for tickets to Michael Moore's next pack of lies documentary, scheduled for release in late 2005."

2) "Uh, umm, well... Hey! Look over there! It's Elvis!. Yo King!"
Note: Yes, this has been done before. Sue me.

3) "What? I can't hear you! My head's too far up John Kerry's ass!"

4) "Vietnam veterans are all evil! They lie all the time! I refuse to print anything they say when... excuse me, Senator. I didn't see you. Of course we'll run photos of you in a Speedo."

5) "Facts? We don't need no steenking facts."

6) "Mistakes were made. And there is no controlling legal authority...."

7) Reporters too busy investigating the horrible rugby war crimes of President Bush to be bothered with insignificant details such as John Kerry lying about his Vietnam experience.

Mainstream media types are unable to make any intelligible statements concerning Kerry's record because their mouths are already busy fellating the two Johns 24x7.

9) Reporters have been too busy participating in the BusHitler Olympics, where events include Ignoring Reality, Arsenice-in-the-drinking-water and Old Lace, Destroying Pristine, Mosquito Infested Alaskan Wastelands Nature Preserves and Pin The A-bomb on Iraq Because It's All About OOOIIIIILLLLLLL!!!!

Posted by: Physics Geek at 06:59 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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