September 02, 2009
Click to expand. Image found here.
Q: How long do you cook it?
A: Until it's done.
I get the dirtiest looks from people, but I'm not trying to be a jackass. I actually don't know how many minutes it takes for most things to cook, especially meat. I merely press my hand/finger/spatula/fork onto the surface of the steak/hamburger and say "It's medium rare" or "It's medium well". This little tic seems to distress people to no end, especially when they cut into the meat and discover that I'm actually right. As I tell them, it's simply experience.
Now the kitchen I worked in used to hire apprentice chefs, kids who needed some practical experience to go along with their book learning. One of them mentioned a little trick that he learned in school to determine the doneness of meat. It sounded kind of neat, but I promptly forgot it as an interesting, but unnecessary, tool. However, I Stumbled Upon this webpage and was reminded of the technique that I'm certain is still being taught.
Anyway, check it out if you're so inclined.
September 01, 2009
I've dealt with customer service many times during my life, some good, some horrifically bad. There was a time when businesses could shit on their customers and still stay "tough shit" when we complained. Not anymore. Twitter? Facebook? Email? Blogs? Have people simply not heard of these things? I'll be honest and state that my readership, while beloved by me, is teeny tiny. However, if I were to receive a big steaming pile like Maytag tried to inflict on Dooce, I will guarantee you that some of my friends and acquaintances could help my complaints go viral. One person complaining? Not a problem to a company. One million persons complaining? You've got a corporate PR and -potentially- financial debacle.
So, my friends in the business community, consider this a friendly FYI: do not continue to treat customers, real or potential, as effluent from your various bodily orifices. You need us far more than we need you and- you might want to write this down if it'll help you remember- spread your acts of neglect and malfeasance worldwide before you have your first cup of morning coffee. Remember this word: customer. And this one: service. They are related directly to your bottom line.
August 25, 2009
My sister-in-law asked me, when I told her that I had taken ballet in college, this: Did you do it to pick up girls?
I replied with an anecdote from Monk. Adrian was showing an old home video to Natalie in which he's standing mostly behind a tree. The following dialogue ensued (paraphrased except for the last sentence):
Natalie: What are you doing there?
Monk: I'm playing Hide.
Natalie: Oh, you mean Hide and Seek.
Monk: You just don't get it, do you?
Even if I had been so inclined, my pitiful, pathetic, painfully ridiculous overtures would have been met with, at best, pity. More likely though, is the probability that I'd have been introduced to the Point and Laugh response. Again.
While I can't say that "going into physics was the biggest mistake of my life", I can safely state that going into physics was far and away the biggest girl repelling thing that I've ever done. Sure, I dig women. A lot. Sadly, I must have dug Shroedinger's Time Dependent Wave Equation more.
Don't pity me. I'm just not worth it.
Going into physics was the biggest mistake of my life. I should've declared CS. I still wouldn't have any women, but at least I'd be rolling in cash.
Well, I did meet my wife while working in CS/IT, so I think that the author has a point.
August 20, 2009
As I have noted with footnotes and authoritative citations previously, Contessa Brewer is a dirty, lying, pus-mouthed whore.
A cheap, sore-riddled nasty bit of gutterscrunge who'll rent you her mouth for the change in your pocket.
A tawdry wallow-trollop oozing with syphilitic fester who raises her filthy skirts at the scent of crack-smoke.
A disease-dripping pincushion, the media's vile mattress of last resort, a pathogen in garish vinyl high heels, a loose-toothed croup-breathed nightcrawler reeking of bathtub gin, fungicide, and the genetic stink of human desperation.
A skanky bit of mung-trash sloughing off diseased skin like a leprous snake. (A leprous snake who whores out her verminous cloaca for two bits a pop, I mean.)
This sad clown of a whore, oozing with foul custard and slack and sloppy as an over-used trash bag, is too stupid to know how to lie judiciously, and so lies promiscuously and wantonly, demonstrating all the discretion she once showed in junior high when her nickname was "Automatic" Brewer.
By the way: No, I don't think Contessa Brewer really "did" this. She's too stupid. She doesn't have that kind of responsibility. Her job is to wear a wonderbra, eat rice pudding with a "safety spoon," blow the line producer, and read the phonetically-spelled questions someone else writes for her.
It's beautiful. ::sniff::
August 19, 2009
August 10, 2009
Some years back, Dennis Miller opined that when some slack-jawed redneck could have sex with Cindy Crawford from the comfort of his couch, it would make crack look like Pez. That day might not be too far off.
I know what you're thinking: pervert. But be honest and admit that the idea appeals to you, too.
August 07, 2009
So yes, John, the Atlantic's economics expert didn't realize just how much the kind of regulations Democrats are now pushing had managed to screw up New York's health insurance market. In trying, while writing a blog post on the fly, to err on the side of charity towards my ideological opponents, I grossly misled my readers. Massive state interference in the insurance market is clearly much, much worse than I--the eternal pessimist!--managed to imagine. Thanks for calling that oversight to my attention.
Gigantic asshole: nothing. Megan McArdle: Two.
There seems to be a bit of confusion among Democrats about the nature of the opposition to their plans. Maybe I can help clear things up, by telling them a few things about us.
Our support for a massive government program does not increase when you tell us were not allowed to ask questions about it.
We dont like having to fight desperate battles to save our freedom and future from socialist politicians every ten or twenty years. We dont like having our time wasted with trillion-dollar statist fantasies, when our government is already trillions of dollars in the red. Were tired of checking the papers each day, to see which group of us has been targeted as enemies of the State. Were growing impatient waiting for the Democrats to come up with ideas that dont require their supporters to hate someone. Weve had our fill of progressives who act as if were living in 1909, and none of their diseased policies have ever been tried before.
We dont blame people for showing up to grab their share of a government handout. We blame the people who stole the money from the rest of us, and put it on the table for them. We dont think respect for private property ends at a certain income level, or that only some people should be applauded for doing their best to get ahead in life. We believe in the power and righteousness of capitalism, the exchange of goods and services between free people acting in their own best interests. There is no moral substitute for it. Every other scheme for governing human affairs amounts to a few dominating some, to the applause of others. Our freedom is not for sale, and we reserve the right to defend it from theft.
You know the drill.
July 29, 2009
On the 47 million people without health insurance point, that too is a statistic where there is less than meets the eye. First, health insurance does not equal health care (there are not just emergency rooms but cash-based clinics, and conversely, a lot of people with insurance dont get good health care). Second, of that 47 million, 14 million are already eligible for existing programs (Medicare, Medicaid, veterans benefits, SCHIP) yet have not enrolled, 9.7 million are not citizens, 9.1 million have household incomes over $75,000 and could but choose not to purchase insurance, and somewhere between 3 and 5 million are uninsured briefly(<2 months) between jobs. That leaves about 10 million Americans who are chronically without insurance. Needless to say, extending the blanket of coverage to this group should not cost $1.5 trillion and require a wholesale overhaul of all of medicine.
I can already hear the "But-but-but YOU WANT PEOPLE TO DIE!!!" emanating from the overused pieholes of some our less lucid citizens. Be aware that if I wanted any more shit out of you, I'd squeeze your head.
Thanks to Megan for the link.
You can actually buy one; you don't even need a Bible. This cover will warm your heart, pay your mortgage and make you a sexual machine.
Thanks, I guess, go to Neal Boortz for providing a link to this piece of Barry worship.
July 28, 2009
July 24, 2009
July 23, 2009
If America wants to get back on the right track, scientific space mission-wise, we need to once again pick an inspiring, audacious goal, and man it with the kind of inspirational crew to make it happen. At long last, let us realize mankind's most cherished dream -- sending the entire United States Congress to the Moon by 2010.
When I mention this proposal to my space engineering friends at Meier's Tap, they are often skeptical. They'll argue it's impossible, that even NASA's most powerful booster rockets never anticipated a payload of 535 people including Charlie Rangel and Jerrold Nadler. Look man, I'm just the idea guy, and I'm sure those details can be worked out. When John F. Kennedy first proposed going to the Moon in 1961, did you people expect him to already have a formula for Tang? The beauty of my proposal is that our Astro-Congress is already on payroll -- and chock full of crisis tested problem-solving engineers. If they can take over the entire US auto industry and re-engineer the American heath care system in two weeks, surviving a Moon mission will be a snap!
Now that's a plan to put my tax dollars to good use. In fact, probably the best use to which they could be put.
The Michigan Democratic Party is considering asking voters to raise the state's minimum wage to $10 an hour. That'll work out real well for their economy. My God. Are these people really that stupid?
July 05, 2009
Brewing is kind of social, and the
two guys I used to brew withpuppies I used to sip moved awaywere all in my belly.
Ah well, he at least links to this article on brewing rigs, some of which I had planned to cover anyway, once I got around to advanced brewing concepts. Which reminds me: keep reading for installment #4 of Brewing Your First Beer. After I -finally- finish that series, I'll move on to intermediate brewing techniques, and eventually to advanced ones. Hopefully my readers (bless you both) will stay on board throughout.
June 17, 2009
There was one category that we honed in on: some breast cancers are undetectable by X-rays, but can be found via the visible light method. I'm fairly certain that this is where the impetus for this research lies. In any event, I'm hopeful that this cancer, among others, will eventually be eradicated. And that date cannot come quickly enough.
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