Once again it's time for another installment of everyone's favorite show, "My jokes suck the big one!" Okay, it's actually a Precision Guided Humor Assignment: If Michael Moore had a theme song, what would it be? This was a tough one until I started visualing some old MTV videos. Yes, it's true: MTV actually stands for Music Television and they used to broadcast videos instead whatever they show now. In any event, Men Without Talent Hats popped into my head and I started thinking of their one video of note for The Safety Dance. Truthfully, it might have been their one video ever. Anyway, the dwarf dancing around in the background reminded me of Michael Moore. That is, if Michael Moore were to immediately lose 500 pounds and got stuck in the gravitational field of a neutron star. So new lyrics started working their way around my brain. I'm sorry to report that they aren't family friendly, but that's the way it works out sometime. So here are the lyrics for Michael Moore's theme song, Bullshit Lies.

B-b-b-b U-u-u-u L-l-l-l L-l-l-l S-s-s-s H-h-h-h I-i-i-i T-t-t-t
Bullshit, lies!
[Spoken]
We can lie if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't lie and if they don't lie
Well they're no friends of mine
I say, we can lie when we want to
In fact I do it all the time
And we can act like we drank the Kool-Aid
And stick our heads up our behinds
And we can lie

[Sung]
We can lie if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't lie and if they don't lie
Well they're no friends of mine
I say, we can lie when we want to
In fact I do it all the time
And we can act like we drank the Kool-Aid
And stick our heads up our behinds
And we can lie
Lie-|yay!

We can lie when we want to
My movie sucks and so do I
And we can wear asshats from our heads to our feet
And surprise 'em with our demented cry(YEEAARRGGGHHH!)
Say, we can lie if want to
If fact we always probably willl
And you can act like a big fat jerk
And I can act like an imbecile

[Refrain]
I say, we can lie, we can lie
Big media is under our control
We can lie, we can lie
We're trying to affect the polls
We can lie, we can lie
About everything across the land
We can lie, we can lie
Everybody tellin' a li-i-iee

Bullshit lie
Is it a bullshit lie
Is it a bullshit lie

B-b-b-b U-u-u-u L-l-l-l S-s-s-s H-h-h-h I-i-i-i T-t-t-t
Bullshit, lies!

We can lie if we want to
We've got control of all their minds
Then I'm bettin', it's gonna affect the election
Everything'll work out right
I say, we can lie if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't lie and if they don't lie
Well they're no friends of mine
[Refrain]

Is it bullshit lies, oh is it bullshit lies [6x]
Is it bullshit lies

Posted by: Physics Geek at 03:02 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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