Tuesday Morning Quarterback returns the first week of August.

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Who cares? Certainly not the NEA. Okay, that's not exactly fair: the fifteenth most important item mentions educating our children. Captain Ed has the horrid scoop. Excerpt:

Five of the top 20 have to do with Social Security politics. Only two items in the top 30 have anything directly to do with educating children. As Michelle Malkin points out, however, they made room during their efforts to demand a withdrawal from Iraq (number 61), oppose CAFTA, (number 63), and support the boycott of Gallo Wines (number 47).

If I wanted to parody the NEA, I couldn't draft a better list than this. Anyone arguing that this special-interest group has the welfare of children as its first priority should read this list carefully and often.

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I think that this item will be under my tree this year, even if I have to buy the darned thing myself.

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Horsemeat: it's what's for dinner.

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DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

ST. MOMMAÂ’S WORT
Plant extract that treats momÂ’s depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

EMPTYNESTROGEN Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldnÂ’t wait till they moved out.

PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, “You make me want to be a better person...Can we get naked now?”

BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who canÂ’t remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to put the toilet seat back down.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him

Posted by: Physics Geek at 09:46 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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"Look ma! No hands(because I blew them off the infidel bastards)!"

So terrorist Abdurahman Khadr's story is being made into a movie. Holy crap! And I thought that having Oliver Stone make a 9/11 movie was a bad idea. I can already see the MSM fawning over this picture. And it's already begun. Excerpt:

Vincent Newman, president of Vincent Newman Entertainment, who bought the rights, is quoted hailing Khadr’s “a classic black sheep story—a story about the rebel of the family.” Khadr meanwhile has reserved the rights to develop the screenplay. Variety notes that “it appears it will follow the storyline that makes him look best....”

I guess getting his tongue pierced was too last century for Khadr. Maybe the movie will tell of his new career selling T-shirts with eye-catching slogans:

1) "Mom and dad blew up a busload of tourists and all I got was this loust T-shirt"

2) "My other car is an exploding suicide Deathmobile"

3) "Infidels? I LOVE the infidels. PULL!!"

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Better yet, let's flog all of the jag-offs filing frivolous lawsuits like this one: women who car-pool are getting sued by a transit company for lost revenue. Excerpt:

They might have been congratulated for their "green" efforts in an area of heavy air pollution.

Instead a group of French cleaning ladies who organised a car-sharing scheme to get to work are being taken to court by a coach company which accuses them of "an act of unfair and parasitical competition".

The women, who live in Moselle and work five days a week at EU offices in Luxembourg, are being taken to court by Transports Schiocchet Excursions, which runs a service along the route. It wants the women to be fined and their cars confiscated.

Two years ago a business tribunal threw out the company's case. It is now pursuing the women in a higher court, claiming that their action has cost it €2m (£1.4m).

The women explained that for many years cleaners used the TSE line for the 40-minute ride across the border, which cost them €110 (£76) a month.

"Using our cars is quicker and at least twice as cheap. And on the bus we didn't have the right to eat or even to speak," said Martine Bourguignon. Odette Friedmann added: "In the evening instead of coming to get us at 9.30pm the bus would arrive at 10.30pm. If you made any comment to the driver you'd get a mouthful of abuse."

"It's absurd and ridiculous," said the women's lawyer, Cécile Klein-Schmitt. "I don't see how any magistrate can find any legal basis for this case."

TSE is also suing the women's employer, Onet-Luxembourg. "They've basically accused us of inciting the car-sharing scheme when we have nothing to do with the method of transport used by our staff," said director Frédéric Sirerol.

The court case will be heard in January next year.

Related update: Apparently it's illegal in Japan to mock the French. That's okay. I'm glad to pick up the slack over here in the US. Bashing those cheese-eating surrender asswarts makes me smile. A lot.

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From About.com. Excerpt:

The birth of a hurricane starts as a low pressure zone and builds into a tropical wave of low pressure.

In addition to a disturbance in the tropical ocean water, the storms that become hurricanes also require warm ocean waters (above 80°F or 27°C down to 150 feet or 50 meters below sea level) and light upper level winds.

A tropical wave grows in intensity and then may grow to become an organized area of showers and thunderstorms known as a tropical disturbance. This disturbance becomes an organized area of tropical low pressure that is called a tropical depression based on cyclonic winds (counter-clockwise in the Northern Hemisphere and clockwise in the Southern Hemisphere). A tropical depression's wind speed must be at or below 38 miles per hour (mph) or 62 km/hr when averaged out over one minute. These winds are measured at 33 feet (10 meters) above the surface.

Once average winds reach 39 mph or 63 km/hr then the cyclonic system becomes a tropical storm and receives a name while tropical depressions are numbered (i.e. Tropical Depression 4 became Tropical Storm Chantal in the 2001 season.) Tropical storm names are preselected and issued alphabetically for each storm.

There are approximately 80-100 tropical storms annually and about half of these storms become full-fledged hurricanes. It is at 74 mph or 119 km/hr that a tropical storm becomes a hurricane. Hurricanes can be from 60 to almost 1000 miles wide. They vary widely in intensity; their strength is measured on the Saffir-Simpson scale from a weak category 1 storm to a catastrophic category 5 storm. There were only two category 5 hurricanes with winds over 156 mph and a pressure of less than 920 mb (the world's lowest pressures ever recorded were caused by hurricanes) that struck the United States in the 20th century. The two were a 1935 hurricane that struck the Florida Keys and Hurricane Camille in 1969[Note: Hurricane Andrew has been upgraded from Category 4 to 5 since this was written]. Only 14 category 4 storms hit the U.S. and these included the nation's deadliest hurricane - the 1900 Galveston, Texas hurricane and Hurricane Andrew which hit Florida and Louisiana in 1992.

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A blonde had a near death experience that has changed her forever. The other day, she went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. She tried with all her might to hang on, but was thrown off.

Just when things could not possibly get worse, her foot got caught in the stirrup. When this happened, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down.

Just as she was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Wal-Mart manager came out and unplugged it.

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I was flipping between the All-Star game and whatever Skinemax movie was on. Turns out that I should have been reading Protein Wisdom's live-blogging extravganza instead. Except Jeff doesn't usually post pictures of boobies. I guess that the movie channels still rule.

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Michelle Malkin reports on something that I've have thought as likely as the sun rising in the West: Molly Ivins an apology and and correction.

I'd long since relegated Ivins to the Kossacks bin of frothing and insanity. However, kudos to Molly for doing the right thing and admitting that she was not only wrong, but egregiously so. Anyway, Ms. Ivins, this one's for you:

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Okay, technically I haven't been invitied, which might have something to do with the whole penis thing. However, being a wallflower at a gathering of the ladies of The Cotillion sounds pretty good to me. Sexy, smart women everywhere I look.

Bang, zoom, into the blogroll with you!

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Looks like curry helps prevent cancer. No word on the research into what I feel is the ultimate prevention: pizza and Coke.

Update: Steve noticed, too, and from a reliable source: Paul Harvey. Sure, he can't stop shilling for Pleasant's Hardware and all of his other advertisers, but he's pretty much a no bullshit sort of guy.

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Roadhouse 2. I Know What You Did Last Summer 3. Hollow Man 2?! Check out this article for the gruesome details.

You know what's really bad? Jennifer Love Hewitt won't be appearing in the third installment of IKWYDLS. Being a student of fashion, let me just say that her bikini top in the first sequel was quite eye-catching. If you don't know of what I speak, check out this link.

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Looking for beer recipes? A recipe calculator? Back issues of the Homebrew Digest in HTML format? Look no further than The Brewery.

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A couple of utilities that you might want to download: FreeRAM XP Pro and Registry Mechanic. More useful stuff found here.

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I thought that I'd inject a little bit of reality into the stem-research debate. Below is the list of disorders that stem cells are used to either treat or cure:

Acute LeukemiaÂ’s
Acute Lymphoblast Leukemia (ALL)
Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML)
Acute Biphenotypic Leukemia
Acute Undifferentiated Leukemia

Chronic LeukemiaÂ’s
Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia (CML)
Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia (CLL)
Juvenile Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia (JCML)
Juvenile Myelomonocytic Leukemia (JMML)

Myelodysplastic Syndromes
Refractory Anemia (RA)
Refractory Anemia with Ringed Sideroblasts (RARS)
Refractory Anemia with Excess Blasts (RAEB)
Refractory Anemia with Excess Blasts in Transformation (RAEB-T)
Chronic Myelomonocytic Leukemia (CMML)

Stem Cell Disorders
Aplastic Anemia (Severe)
Fanconi Anemia
Paroxysmal Nocturnal Hemoglobinuria (PNH)
Pure Red Cell Aplasia

Myeloproliferative Disorders
Acute Myelofibrosis
Agnogenic Myeloid Metaplasia (myelofibrosis)
Polycythemia Vera
Essential Thrombocythemia

Lymphoproliferative Disorders
Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma
Hodgkin's Disease

Phagocyte Disorders
Chediak-Higashi Syndrome
Chronic Granulomatous Disease
Neutrophil Actin Deficiency
Reticular Dysgenesis

Other Inherited Disorders
Lesch-Nyhan Syndrome
Cartilage-Hair Hypoplasia
Glanzmann Thrombasthenia
Osteopetrosis
Adrenoleukodystrophy

Inherited Platelet Abnormalities
Amegakaryocytosis / Congenital Thrombocytopenia

Inherited Metabolic Disorders
Mucopolysaccharidoses (MPS)
Hurler's Syndrome (MPS-IH)
Scheie Syndrome (MPS-IS)
Hunter's Syndrome (MPS-II)
Sanfilippo Syndrome (MPS-III)
Morquio Syndrome (MPS-IV)
Maroteaux-Lamy Syndrome (MPS-VI)
Sly Syndrome, Beta-Glucuronidase Deficiency (MPS-VII)
Adrenoleukodystrophy
Mucolipidosis II (I-cell Disease)
Krabbe Disease
Gaucher's Disease
Niemann-Pick Disease
Wolman Disease
Metachromatic Leukodystrophy

Histiocytic Disorders
Familial Erythrophagocytic Lymphohistiocytosis
Histiocytosis-X
Hemophagocytosis

Inherited Erythrocyte Abnormalities
Beta Thalassemia Major
Sickle Cell Disease

Inherited Immune System Disorders
Ataxia-Telangiectasia
Kostmann Syndrome
Leukocyte Adhesion Deficiency
DiGeorge Syndrome
Bare Lymphocyte Syndrome
Omenn's Syndrome
Severe Combined Immunodeficiency (SCID)
SCID with Adenosine Deaminase Deficiency
Absence of T & B Cells SCID
Absence of T Cells, Normal B Cell SCID
Common Variable Immunodeficiency
Wiskott-Aldrich Syndrome
X-Linked Lymphoproliferative Disorder

Plasma Cell Disorders
Multiple Myeloma
Plasma Cell Leukemia
Waldenstrom's Macroglobulinemia
Amyloidosis

Other Malignancies
Ewing Sarcoma
Neuroblastoma
Renal Cell Carcinoma
Retinoblastoma

As an FYI: all of the treatments above use adult stem cells. Currently, no embryonic stem cell research has reached the clinical trial phase.

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PERSONAL HYGIENE

* While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.

* Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.

* Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and sometimes alter the taste of finger foods.

DINING OUT

* When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.

* If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME

* A centerpiece for the table should not be something prepared by a taxidermist.

* Do not allow the dog to eat at the table...no matter how good his manners
are.

DATING (Outside the Family)

* Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the FIRST date.

* Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you ever since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."

* Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

THEATER ETIQUETTE

* Crying babies should be taken to the lobby. and picked up immediately, after the movie has ended.

* Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

WEDDINGS

* Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.

* When kissing the bride, it's impolite to use your tongue.

* For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt is considered tacky in some circles

* Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE

* Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; Even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.

* When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires and the most guns in the rack always has the right of way.

* Never tow another car using pantyhose and duct tape.

* When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.

* Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.

* Do not lay rubber when leaving a funeral or burial site.

TIPS FOR ALL OCCASIONS

* Never take beer to a job interview, leave it outside.

* Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.

* It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church, no matter how long the sermon.

* If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.

* Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered poor taste to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

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Andrea has moved. Again. I'm just glad that she leaves a trail of breadcrumbs for me to follow. In any event, be sure that you add Least Loved Bedtime Stories to your blogroll, if you haven't already.

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Courtesy of Argghhh! comes this little gem:

Frankly, I sometimes think the New York cocktail crowd thinks Dr. Strangelove was a documentary.

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