Here goes the first installment of Beat the Geek. Here are my picks for this week. Leave your picks in the comments if you think that you can do better than me. I welcome the challenge.

Detroit over Arizona - Detroit is at home and Arizone sucks.

Jacksonville over Baltimore- Ditto

Indy over Houston- Double ditto

KC over Buffalo- Buffalo is at home, but their defense has been ragged this year

NY Giants over Minnesota- Triple ditto pick #1

Chicago over San Francisco- Actually, both teams might lose in this game

Denver over Oakland- A road win for Denver puts them on track for a home playoff game

Carolina over NY Jets- Carolina is my preseason NFC champion and I don't see any reason to change now

Tampa Bay over Washington- This cruddy contest will be forced fed to me via my local Fox affiliate this weekend, which means I'm headed to a sports bar

Atlanta over Green Bay(sorry, Harvey)- Atlanta is pretty good. Green Bay has outgained their opponents and outscored them and somehow they're losing. A lot. Call it a trend and move on. I sure would like to see Favre play for a better team this late in his career, though.

St. Louis over Seattle- Seattle wins this game and I'll believe that they're for real. I don't believe it yet.

Pittsburgh over Cleveland- Pittsburgh is better than the Browns. Much better.

Philadelphia over Dallas- Against all rhyme and reason, I'm picking the Eagles. The TO distraction is gone and the team will pull together, I believe. Remember: Philly won 2 playoff games without Owens last year.

My last 3 weeks I've gone 10-4, 12-2 and 11-3. I won't be surprised if I lose 10 games this week. I don't like these matchups.

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Bashing the French, of course.

The following is from an email to Neal Boortz:

AP and UPI reported today that the French government announced that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender". The raise was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white flag factory, thereby disabling its military.

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I've ranted on many occassions about the Katie Couric/Matt Lauer/ Tom Brokaw/Dan Rather/CBS/NBC/ABC/CNN/NY Times cabal who keep moaning about the horrid state of the US economy, conveniently ignoring all of the indicators of an amazing, continued expansion. Bizzy Blog adds the proper context:

QUESTION: When is this economy going to some respect?

The economyÂ’s 3.8% third-quarter growth (subject to revision in the coming months) was remarkable, given the storms that occurred during almost the entire final month of the quarter:

Economists had forecast GDP would advance at a 3.6% rate in the July-to-September quarter. The economy has now expanded faster than 3% for 10 straight quarters.

So when was the last time the economy expanded faster than 3% for 10 straight quarters?

It didnÂ’t happen during the 1990s (the longest streak was eight).

It last happened during the 13 quarters from 1Q 1983 through 1Q 1986. Not coincidentally, a president who believed in lowering taxes to stimulate economic growth was in charge the last time it happened.

So despite being at war, despite devastating storms, and despite legislative and regulatory drags on the economy like Sarbanes-Oxley, this has been most consistently growing economy in almost 20 years.

Not only that, the US economy has NEVER had a streak of more than 7 quarters of 3.0% or greater annualized growth at any other time in the 58 years that quarterly GDP statistics have been kept! (besides the ones already mentioned: i.e., the current streak of 10, the 1990s streak of 8, and the 1980s streak of 13–Added Nov. 3 for clarity)

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Fortunately, the aforementioned Overlords won't be in power much longer. My money is that they'll be handed their Minority Party papers sometime in early November, 2006. There is a downside, of course, to this: jackasses like Charlie Rangel and Ted Kennedy will be setting the tone for all economic and environmental decisions made in DC. Then again, I'm not certain that the nation will notice the difference.

Michelle Malkin displays some e-mails from pissed off GOP voters. As for me, I'd say that I'm pissed off, but I'd be lying. I fully expected the GOP to cave on this issue. Why anyone would expect our feckless, cowardly GOP elected officials to finally display any backbone is beyond me.

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Stop by and wish Cal Tech Girl a Happy Birthday, a birthday that she shares with the US Marine Corps, God love 'em.

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But the news is so good, I don't care: Steven Den Beste is back blogging again, this time at Red State. Check out this excerpt in his bio:

Yup, it's me alright. Accept no substitutes.

By the way, please show some couth and don't gush all over the comments.

What is this couth thing, and why is he talking about it?

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The first Avian Flu death was reported in Anaheim, California. Look at the picture in the extended entry. It's horrifying. more...

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Stephen Green typed a masterpiece. Read it all right now.

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Two aliens land in Metro Detroit, and they happen to land next to a gas station. So, the aliens waddle out of their ship and look around.

The first thing they see that resembles a human being is the gas pump. The two aliens approach and the first one says "Earthling, take me to your leader!" Of course he gets no response...

The first alien looks at his buddy then addresses the pump again. "Earthling, I said take me to your leader!" Of course, still no response...

The alien then turns to his buddy and says "If this Earthling doesn't show me some respect and at least acknowledge me, I'm going to blast him!"

At that the second alien replies, "OK. I'm just going to stand down on the next block."

The first Alien looks a little puzzled, but waits for the other to waddle to the next block. He then addresses the pump a third time.

"Earthling take me to your leader!" Still nothing. So the alien then pulls out his ray gun and vaporizes the pump...

The gas station goes up in a huge explosion, blowing the alien all the way down the block to his buddy. He gets up, dusts himself off, and turns to the second Alien. "If you knew that was going to happen why didn't you warn me!?"

The second replies "Well, I didn't know exactly *what* was going to happen. But there's no way I'm gonna' mess with a guy who's dick hangs to the ground, wraps around his body twice, and is still long enough to stick in his left ear."

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Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "What sign were you born under?"
Woman: "No Parking."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized !"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
Woman: "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

Man: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species.."

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?

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Harvey posted a quick fix to a problem that I'm certain fellow MuNuvians have experienced: inability to retrieve the trackback URL for a post. Being the geeky sort of dork that I am, I'd already figured it out for myself, but didn't post about it because I'd assumed everyone already knew it.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. My wife feels the same way. She reminds me frequently that other people's brains do not work the same way that mine does, to which the proper response is "Thank goodness."

Anyway, it's kind of cool, so check it out.

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Another security flaw that allows someone to take over control of your computer, huh? Why can't Microsoft make regular errors in their programs? Things that force you to reboot your computer occassionally, or lockup your keyboard, or simply stop functioning? Oh wait, Microsoft still has those errors in addition to the more egregious security flaws. Isn't that special?

Words for the future today: embrace the Penguin.

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From Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. Excerpt:

The American male is broken, and in his own brokenness, he is compromising his marriage and crippling his children. Immersed in a culture which is obsessed with success through competition, he is trained to forever feel like a failure. Rather than peering inside himself to discover his own unique gifts, he stares in front to see who has surpassed him, and behind, to see who is gaining on him.

The modern American male has little self-esteem and is a muddle of broken dreams. He lives in a society resembling not a circle, in which all are treated more or less as equals, but a pyramid, in which only a tiny few are perched at the top and the overwhelming majority are made to feel that they are at various stations of the bottom.

He is painfully aware that the recognition and respect of his peers will not come from assisting his kids with homework, or remaining faithful to his wife. All around him, the culture glorifies men who have built businesses even as they have abandoned wives, like Jack Welch and Donald Trump. Treating his co-workers with dignity will never bring him into the Forbes 400. Reading his children a bedtime story will not get him an invitation to the White House.
...
Bereft of inspiration, he fails to inspire his children. He does not parent them so much as admonish them. So they are reduced to searching for substitute heroes, and like him, they become TV addicts. The company of friends soon becomes far more fulfilling than their father's company, further isolating parent from child.

The great tragedy of this daily scenario is the fact that all along this man was a hero, only he never saw it. He got up every day to feed his children. He struggles with temptation, yet came home to his wife. But that never made him feel good about himself, because he bought the lie that a man is only important if he is rich or famous.

Read it all.

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I knew that San Francisco was run by idiots, but I didn't expect the actual residents to be stupid enough to vote against their own interests. Silly me. Anyway, it looks like almost 60% of San Fran residents voted to make owning a handgun illegal. After the civilization meltdown during the Katrina aftermath, you might have thought that even the liberal-pinko-commies would have given some thought to self-preservation. You'd be wrong. Here is Neal Boortz's take on it:

The voters of San Francisco, that's who. By a 58% to 42% margin they voted to make the ownership of a handgun illegal in San Francisco, and to require that every resident of San Francisco who owns a handgun to turn it in to the government by April 1st. April 1st, by the way, is more commonly known as "April Fool's Day." Even voters in San Francisco should be bright enough to figure out that law-abiding citizens will be the ones to turn over their guns, while the lawless, the criminal element, will not. The number of guns in the hands of law abiding citizens will go down. The number of guns in the hands of criminals will not.

It is particularly amazing that 58% of the San Francisco voters would support this foolish measure after New Orleans. San Francisco faces the prospect of a natural disaster far worse than Katrina. Do the people of San Francisco think that the criminal element will just stay home and behave after the earthquake hits? There will be no violence? No looting? After the experience of the victims of the lawless in New Orleans it is hard to believe that any logical group of Americans would voluntarily disarm. But ... I did say logical, didn't I?

Here's a question: how many people actually believe that all of the gun-owning liberal wussies in the city(there are bound to be large number, despite the local politics) will voluntarily give up their guns? I'm going to guess that the number is low. Certainly much lower than the actual number of legal handguns currently owned in SF.

Look for San Francisco to become the Britain of the Left coast. Criminals will be able to rob, maim and kill with impunity. Any citizen caught defending himself will be punished severly.

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Time to forget politics for a while and get back to what's really important: football.

A couple of years ago, I instituted the Beat The Geek football picks. I think that it's time to pick up where I left off. Mid-season my seem like a funny time to get started, but it's better than never.

Last week: 11-3

Season record: 91-39

Picks for last week
---------------------

wrong Atlanta 17 10 Miami
correct Carolina 34 14 Tampa Bay
correct Cincinnati 21 9 Baltimore
correct Detroit 14 27 Minnesota
correct Houston 14 21 Jacksonville
correct Oakland 23 27 Kansas City
correct San Diego 31 26 NY Jets
wrong Tennessee 14 20 Cleveland
correct Chicago 20 17 New Orleans
correct NY Giants 24 6 San Francisco
correct Seattle 33 19 Arizona
correct Pittsburgh 20 10 Green Bay
correct Philadelphia 10 17 Washington
wrong Indianapolis 40 21 New England

I'll have my picks in sometime on Friday. Feel free to try and beat me. No prizes for winning, just that warm sense of satisfaction that comes from a skill that's useless outside of Vegas.

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Turns out that it's good for you, too. Beer, that is. Excerpt:

"Mmmm Â… beer."

This oft-repeated sentiment of Homer Simpson is a mantra for the millions of beer drinkers in the United States. As popular as beer is, however, it often has gotten a bad rap as a calorie-loaded beverage that only serves to create paunchy beer bellies and alcohol-fueled lapses in judgment.

But that negative image may begin to fade: Research is showing that beer could join the ranks of other guilt-inducing but wildly popular foods — chocolate, coffee and red wine — as a possible disease-fighter.

It turns out that beer hops contain a unique micronutrient that inhibits cancer-causing enzymes. Hops are plants used in beer to give it aroma, flavor and bitterness.

The compound, xanthohumol, was first isolated by researchers with Oregon State University 10 years ago. Initial testing was promising, and now an increasing number of laboratories across the world have begun studying the compound, said Fred Stevens, an assistant professor of medicinal chemistry at Oregon State's College of Pharmacy.

Earlier this year, a German research journal even devoted an entire issue to xanthohumol, he said.

What Stevens and others are discovering is that xanthohumol has several unique effects. Along with inhibiting tumor growth and other enzymes that activate cancer cells, it also helps the body make unhealthy compounds more water-soluble, so they can be excreted.

I wonder if alcohol is one of the unhealthy compounds of which they speak? Then again, who cares?

Thanks to blogless friend Jeff for the link.

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Despite one poll showing Kaine with an 8-point lead over Kilgore, I predict that tomorrow's VA gubenatorial election will be decided by 1-4 points. And despite Potts pulling a robust 4% from Kilgore's column today, I also predict that most of those voters will end up pulling the lever for Kilgore. And, for what it's worth, election polls traditionally underestimate the votes for a Republican. However, that usually happens at the federal level, not the state level. So here's my prediction:

Kaine: 48%
Kilgore: 47%
Potts: 1%

Kaine benefits from a popular Democrat governor, although that popularity is, as far as I can tell, undeserved. To his credit, Mark Warner has been a pretty moderate Democrat, which is the only type that this state will elect, except for the I-promise-I-won't-raise-taxes-so-what-I-did broken promises on taxes. However, the Republican majority in the state legislature gets most of the blame for that, and rightfull so, as the Democrats didn't have the votes to enact an increase without Republican help. There will be enough disaffected Republican voters who believe that it doesn't really matter who's in office anymore.

Update: After mulling over matters last night, I've decided to be a bit more optimistic based on several factors:

1) Back in 1989, Doug Wilder was predicted to blowout Marshall Coleman. He ended up winning by around 5,000 votes.

2) The 2004 national elections proved that Republicans could get out the vote as well, if not better, than the Democrats.

3) Mark Warner was up big in the polls against a tepid candidate who he had outspent by an enormous margin going into election day 4 years ago, but managed only a 4%-5% victory.

4) As I mentioned, Potts 4% in the polls won't translate into 4% of the actual voters. Many of those voters will end up voting for Kilgore.

5) Virginia is, buy and large, a pretty Republican state. Ask Joh Kerry how he did last year. I do understand the differences between state and federal elections, though.

I'm callling it a tossup.

One caveat: Virginia voters should beware the dreaded Democrat bias in early exit polls. Around 3:00 p.m. on election day last year, John Kerry thought that he was president. I can already the NBC/CBS/ABC/CNN talking heads trumpeting "IT'S OVER!!!!" before the polls close, which would make some people simply avoid voting altogether.

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There was a competition to cross the English channel doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.

After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest breaststroker. About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher.

Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.

When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms..."

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It leads to experiments like this one: What is the Ultimate Jell-O® Shot?

This experiment shows promise as well. Paraphrasing an old line from Dennis Miller: I wear two condoms all of the time and, when I get ready to make love, I take one off, which makes me feel like a wildman. It's kind of like a batter in the on-deck circle swinging two bats so that one bat will feel light by comparison.

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Mike has the latest draft of our living Constitution. Excerpt:

We hold these truths to be open to interpretation, that all Men, Wymyrns, Chyldryns, and Animals are created Equal and must remain exactly so throughout the course of their Lives, especially in an economic sense; that they are endowed by the Government of their Betters with certain negotiable Rights, ripe for Dialoguing, that among these are Life (in the Collective), Liberty (to a point), and the pursuit of Happiness (to be defined by us at a later date, and to specifically preclude the practice of Christianity and Judaism) –That to define these rights, Governments are instituted among Men by their Betters, deriving their absolute powers from the consent of the Enlightened, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of Individual Liberty, it is the Right of the Elite to expand it, and to institute new Rules incessantly, laying their foundation on such principles and organizing its powers as Political Correctness shall demand, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Seeming Surface Harmony and Balance with Gaia.
...
Bill of Malleable Particulars

Article [I.] Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of Christian or Judaic religion, or prohibiting the free exercise of Islamism, Wiccanism, or Paganism; or abridging the freedom of speech of the Enlightened, or of the Mainstream Press, such term understood to specifically exclude Wingnut Bloggers or any and all aggregations of Americans organized to redress grievances not involving Environmentalism, Racial Preferences, or any other Cause the Enlightened approves of (such aggregations hereafter to be known as Special Interests); or the right of the Enlightened to assemble and riot if necessary, in protest or other attempt to Speak Truth to Power, and to petition the Government for a redress of Imagined Grievances.

Article [II.] There is no Article II. There never was. Look, over there! A lion! No, really! Look!

Go there. Now.

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