Steven H. has regaled us all with his tales about Claudia for a long while now, including some details that "nice guys" will find horribly familiar. Here's a little excerpt just in case you don't understand where I'm coming from:

Problem was, Claudia stayed too close. She was possessive. She was jealous. She interfered when other women came around. And she called three times a day. You think I'm kidding. I mean three times a day. Not every day, but many days. And a day rarely passed when she didn't call at least once.

At first, I thought it was cute, but eventually, I saw that I was being used. Claudia wanted a disposable man who would escort her to functions and keep her entertained, but she planned to drop me instantly when someone better-looking showed up. That's fine, if you understand that I need to meet people, too. It's not fine if you run interference to keep me single. Whenever a man showed up and showed an interest in Claudia, I made myself scarce and tried to help. But she wouldn't give me the same consideration.

On top of that, she treated me like a servant. We'd agree to go out and do something, and then she'd call me the day we were supposed to go, or the day before, and tell me some man had batted his lashes at her and she had to go on a date with him that very day. She's a grown woman, and I actually had to explain that this was not acceptable and would not be tolerated.

She admitted more than once that she thought of me as someone she could fall back on if she couldn't find a good-looking prize bachelor. I told her that wasn't going to happen, but telling a woman things like that is a waste of time. Most women bluff and BS constantly, and they assume men do, too.

You get the idea. There are plenty of decent guys out there that are respectful, intelligent, funny and gainfully employed. Too often, women will treat those men like emotional tampons, forcing us to absorb all of the pain and disillusionment when the losers they were dating treated them like shit. Here's an expression that many men will find familiar:

::sob:: "Why can't he be more like you?"

Here's a clue: no one is more like me than, well, me. It stands to reason. And eventually I'll tire of being the fallback guy and move on to someone that actually appreciates me for who I am. When you're 45+ and despairing of finding a nice guy, remember that you probably kicked a bunch of us to the curb because you thought that we weren't exciting enough. I guess you'll get your kicks from loneliness and bitterness in the future, though. Don't worry: I'm certain that you'll find a way to blame it all on us guys. Happy to oblige, ma'am. For the record, the "Kick me" sign has long since been removed, so move quickly. You might succeed in pissing on me, but I'm most assuredly not going to help you.

I have several women friends who are as dear to me as family; most of them attended my wedding. Despite what Billy Crystal says, it's possible for a man to be friends with a woman. And I've quizzed them all about why so many women(all of them) invariably choose to date jerks for such a long time. The general answer was something along the lines of this: "Bad boys can be exciting and fun." Maybe I'm too male to understand the pleasure one can get from being abused emotionally, cheated on and ignored. However, most finally realized that dating nice guys has rewards of its own and are happily married to those boring guys that love them, respect them and generally treat them like royalty. Could it be that I'm on to something? Naah.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 09:02 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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