I just finished the latest DNRC newsletter. One of the highlights of these newsletters is the section where Dogbert answers emails that Scott Adams is far too polite to respond to himself. Excerpt:

Dear Dogbert,

When I order wine at a nice restaurant, the server hands me the cork. What
am I supposed to do with the stupid cork?

Melissa

Dear Molester,

This is your opportunity to show off your fine breeding. Confidently grab the cork and sniff daintily with one nostril while inserting a finger into the other nostril, up to the second knuckle. If the cork's odor is agreeable, take a bite of the cork and chew it while shuddering in delight. Then grab your throat, bug out your eyes, and make a choking noise. Grab a pen and write "Heimlich Maneuver" on a napkin and wave it for help. When no one offers to help, throw yourself over the back of a chair, land on your sternum, and spit cork debris in the direction of anyone who appears to be reaching for a disposable camera to record your death. Then sit back down and say to the server, "Very good."

Sincerely,

Dogbert

Bastard must have been watching me at dinner the other night.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 09:16 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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