Outside the Beltway breaks out the whooping stick to fisk an email from Mary Beth Cahill into a raw, bloody mess. Money quote:

In fact, we may live to regret it for four long years. Join with me in supporting the Democratic Party today.

Thank you,

Mary Beth Cahill

I was actually going to send you $87 billion. But now I'm not.

Help is on the way!

Posted by: Physics Geek at 06:22 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 81 words, total size 1 kb.

Found this posted over in the Neal Nuze:

FRANCE TROUBLE FOR LANCE

We learn this morning of troubles for six-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong. It seems the French are preparing an announcement that Armstrong will be stripped of his 6th title due to negative results from a random check for contraband. Residues of three substances banned by the French have been found in tests; toothpaste, deodorant and soap.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 01:47 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 78 words, total size 1 kb.

Today is Wictory Wednesday. Every Wednesday I ask my readers to volunteer and/or donate to the Bush campaign if they haven't done so already. And if you have volunteered and donated, then get a friend to join you. It's the only way to defeat the lying liberal media.

If you're a blogger, you can join Wictory Wednesday simply by putting up a post like this every Wednesday, asking your readers to volunteer and/or donate to the president's re-election campaign. Be sure to visit these fine participating blogs:

Posted by: Physics Geek at 07:26 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 90 words, total size 1 kb.

Stephen Green types an essay entitled Game Plan. I don't have any comments to add. Go there. Now.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 04:00 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 22 words, total size 1 kb.

I've been lax in my Alliance duties lately. I can already here your question: How is that different from any other time? Uh, um, Hey! Look over there! It's Elvis!

Anyway, I need to start trying my hand at humor once in a while, because discussing politics all the time is starting to make my head throb. Granted, reading my sorry ass jokes is likely to make your head throb, but then it's no longer my problem, right? Right. On to this week's assignment: What are some clues that someone might be a terrorist? Well, there are several things that might tip you off:

1) While purchasing an airline ticket, if the person inquires as to what meals are served in the automatic section versus those served in the semi-automatic section, that might be a clue.

2) If you see a guy wearing a "Mom and Dad blew up a busload of children and all I got was this lousy T-shirt", that might be a clue.

3) If a person stops by the airport store and asks if condoms are sold in packs of 72, because he doesn't want to impregnate his virgins, that might be a clue that he's a terrorist.

4) If that same person asks to purchase 72 flotation devices, relax; he's not a terrorist. It's just Ted Kennedy on his way to campaign headquarters.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 03:20 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 236 words, total size 1 kb.

Yes, I know that that smacks of heresy. However, in my defense, I point you to the concluding from this article:

Now we get to see if there's any pride left in the newsroom. Do any of these writers, reporters and producers resent getting played by Kerry? If so, payback will be stiff. Too early to tell whether Bush-hatred trumps anger at getting suckered. More to follow ...

It's not too early. Clearly, Bush-hatred trumps all else. I haven't seen such water carrying since Gunga Din.

Update: Tim Graham makes the same point here, only he does it better than me. Excerpt:

The mere fact that we're at this embryonic stage of Kerry's biography in August shows the lack of media vigilance about Kerry's resume. If anyone would question the timing of the current Swift Boat vets campaign, they are correct. They could have started in May at the National Press Club. They could have started in February, when Terry McAuliffe and the Democrats drew two weeks of meticulous network pounding of George W. Bush's service in the Texas Air National Guard. (For example, take CBS's John Roberts on February 12: "Officials hoped the release of Mr. Bush's dental records would end the matter, but the dentist who treated him has no specific recollection of seeing the future president.")

But they should have been exploring this story on their own in January, when Kerry broke out of the Democratic pack through powerful and repeated war heroism stories. Since Sen. Kerry began putting his Vietnam experience into biographical overdrive before the Iowa caucuses, it might have seemed like an obvious task for reporters to assess Kerry's service in greater detail. But they did not. They are more interested in electing Kerry than telling us about him.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 02:55 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 305 words, total size 2 kb.

I don't know what else to think of this article. Excerpt:

The Los Angeles City Council on Tuesday gave preliminary approval to a proposed ordinance that could hamper plans by Wal-Mart Stores Inc. to build supercenters within city limits.

The council overwhelmingly endorsed a proposal that would require Wal-Mart and other retailers to show that their nonunion discount stores would not hurt jobs, wages or businesses in the surrounding area, as union leaders and competitors claim.

I love the smell of kowtowing to special interests in the morning. It smells like bullshit.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 01:50 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 116 words, total size 1 kb.

Someone's been waving a red blankie in front of Serenity apparently because she's out for blood in this post. Excerpt:

People don’t think for themselves, people lie all the time and people allow others to lie to them and they accept these lies as gospel truths because they refuse to research things or get a second opinion or read or whatever it is they need to do to find out the “truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth” behind things they hear.

I’m sick of liars. But I’m even more sick of those who allow it to happen, shrug their shoulders and look at me as if I’m out of line for demanding truth. If you have any self respect at all, you’ll stop lying, you’ll stop accepting lies and when you hear people lying to you; friends, family, co-workers, actors/actresses, activists, “film” makers, on the campaign trail and you’ll start to see just how out of control this country has become.

You want solutions for the ills in this country? YouÂ’ll start seeing it when people stop lying and start taking responsibility for their own actions.

Let's hope this nations decides to discard its collective victimhood soon. Otherwise, I weep for the future.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 07:10 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 212 words, total size 1 kb.

Well, this looks pretty silly at first glance. In fact, it seems downright stupid when you look at it more closely.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 04:36 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 27 words, total size 1 kb.

Presented without additional commentary.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 04:25 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 22 words, total size 1 kb.

So say I based on this article. Excerpt:

Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry said on Monday he would have voted for the congressional resolution authorizing force against Iraq even if he had known then no weapons of mass destruction would be found.

::cough-coughbullshitcoungh-cought::

I think that John Kerry, like Teddy Roosevelt, is going to inspire a stuffed animal. Kerry's will be called the Pander Bear.

Update: Neal Boortz has a similar response:

Yesterday while campaigning at the Grand Canyon (no doubt stumping for the foreign tourist vote,) The Poodle said that he would have voted for the use-of-force resolution against Iraq even if he had know there would be no weapons of mass destruction found. Say what?

You've got to be kidding me. This is pretty rich. So let's get this straight: sKerry goes to the Fleet Center a couple of weeks ago, makes his speech accepting the Democratic presidential nomination and in his acceptance speech accuses the president of misleading the country into a war to remove Saddam Hussein. Then, a few weeks later, he tells us he would have done the same thing. Welcome to Splitting Hairs 101. Unbelievable.

He also includes this handy, dandy image as a reminder:

Posted by: Physics Geek at 02:12 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 211 words, total size 2 kb.

An email from back when jokes had to cut into a boulder and then rolled downhill to your neighbor.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top

Posted by: Physics Geek at 08:24 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 209 words, total size 1 kb.

This story is, well, icky. I'm just glad that no picture was included.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 02:23 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 15 words, total size 1 kb.

Then they've got a funny way of showing it. Bush and Co. are really stetching my limits. Allowing sh*t like this to occur chaps my ass, but good. Excerpt:

Yesterday, those 13 Democratic House members got their surprising answer from the State Department – the administration will indeed invite foreign election monitors to observe the U.S. elections in November.

Assistant Secretary of State Paul V. Kelly, who handles legislative affairs for the department, affirmed the invitation this week in a letter to the 13 House members. They had requested U.N. monitors for this year's elections in an effort to avoid the charges of voting irregularities that plagued the 2000 election, the closest in history.

Now, the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe, the largest regional organization in the world with 55 participating nations, will monitor the U.S. election on Nov. 2. Members include Britain, France, Germany, Italy, Portugal, Russia, Spain and the United States.

What the effing F?! I swear to God that I'm about to yank the Blogs for Bush ad from my gutter and put up a "Vote Nader" ad instead. This is an entirely domestic issue and I'm livid that we've actually INVITED foreign countries to monitor our elections like the US can't properly govern itself. Maybe the OSC can guarantee that one candidate gets 99.9% of the vote like some of those 3rd world leaders typically receive. Asswipes.

Update: I should have guessed that Vox would be Johnny on the spot for this issue.

Update #2: Outside the Beltway is all over it as well. Money quote:

I know we're busy reforming our intelligence community. While we're at it, it's high time someone looked at the State Department.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 01:43 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 293 words, total size 2 kb.

And no, it's not Terminator 4. It's the Kegenator! More cool gadgets found here.

Related update: Forget that nasty fermented grape juice. Beer is what you want to pair up with cheese. Excerpt:

Some of the suggested pairings:

- Mascarpone, a soft Italian-style cheese, with a Belgian-style Saison. The tangy beer will contrast nicely with buttery richness of the Mascarpone.

- Fresh Mozzarella and and a dark lager. Another nice contrast: In this case dark malts and sweet dairy flavors.

- Monteray Jack with Jalapeno and a bottle-conditioned winter warmer. A big, malty beer will stand up well to the hot peppers and Monterey Jack. A great combo in front of a roaring fire.

- Smoked Gouda and bock beer. Another beer for cool days, smooth yet with enough toastiness to take on the mild smokiness of the cheese.

No word on whether you're supposed to drink a beer per cube of cheese or per wheel of cheese. And no, I don't go to a cardiologist. Why do you ask?

Loosely related update: Now here's a Discovery Channel program that I plan on watching. A firetruck is being converted into a brewery. That's what I like: some old-fashioned recycling.

Sad update: I am so going to miss this year's GABF. However, I'll be celebrating the birth of my second child about then. I'll be sleepless, unshaven and somewhat groggy. It'll be just like being at the GABF.

Oh goody. It looks like my local beer festival has been scheduled for the due date of child #2. I'm going to have a few words for the event planners. This is not acceptable. However, it looks like I'll be able to participate in this event: Teach A Friend To Homebrew Day on November 6. Stay tuned to this site for more details. Maybe I can convince a few others to take up this hobby. Perhaps a post brew beer swap would be useful? Just a thought. Mmmm, beer.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 08:25 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 340 words, total size 2 kb.

Because I keep mentioning it and Harvey keeps asking about it.
Note: Animated images found around the web.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and the weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 05:57 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 163 words, total size 2 kb.

1 And my employer says I shouldn't come to work drunk... if he only knew!

Posted by: Temujin at August 09, 2004 01:05 AM (7Wfkm)

2 Nicely done. This theory is one I like to use, only I just say, "I'm culling out the weak cells." Like yours much better!

Posted by: That 1 Guy at August 09, 2004 10:17 PM (GtpPV)

3 Time to resurrect my post about why beer should be served at work...

Posted by: physics geek at August 12, 2004 01:09 AM (WZZS/)

4 Omg thats right! Please come see me and my friends!

Posted by: watch moi at March 16, 2005 10:03 PM (QnOXJ)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

The date in question? April 22, 2005. What am I talking about? Go here to find out. I, for one, cannot wait.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 05:40 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 32 words, total size 1 kb.

Was reading Nealz Nuze(this is the permanent archive link as of tomorrow) this morning and saw the following snippet:

A STUCK PIG SQUEALS

In this case the stuck pigs are several congressional democrats. They're squealing like babies because they don't like the Fox News Channel. They've written a letter to Rupert Murdoch, the HWMWIC of the corporation that owns Fox News Channel with a demand; to wit:

"The responsibility of the media is to report the news in an unbiased, impartial, and objective manner. It seems clear that the Fox News network has a deliberate bias [that] has the effect of improving the president's standing with the American people on the basis of not news, but disinformation."

Signatories include Jan Schakowsky of Illinois, John Conyers of Michigan and Pete Stark of California, staunch leftists all. We are making phone calls to the offices of Schakowsky, Conyers and Stark to see if they will share with Neal Boortz Show listeners some examples of the Fox News Channel disinformation campaign that causes them so much concern. For well over six months we've presented a challenge to Boortz listners; a challenge to call the show with just one example of bias in the news reporting of Fox News Channel. Six months, my friends, and not one single valid example has been presented. Perhaps some of these congressional Democrats will rise to the challenge.

The problem here is that Democrats are dismayed that so many Americans are now tuning to a cable news channel that does not present a clear left-wing bias. Leftists and Democrats are so used to the blatant liberal bias that exists in the media that they mistakenly view a lack of such bias as evidence of some sort of a right-wing conspiracy.

It goes without saying that if a group of Republicans sent a similar letter to CBS about Dan Rather, the usual suspects would already be storming the castle.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 01:44 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 331 words, total size 2 kb.

I had my semi-annual review at work this week. We solicit input from lots of people so as to get a pretty good handle on what things we can improve upon. One comment reminded me of this post by LeeAnn and left me dumbfounded:

He sometimes uses words in his emails that force me to look them up in the dictionary.

Imagine my surprise. After all, the little dimwit could actually spell a word as large as "dictionary". I did mention to my manager that I didn't actually consider this an area that needed improvement in my performance. Fortunately, she agreed.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 11:52 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 109 words, total size 1 kb.

Mike delivers as fine a rant as I've ever seen. If any politician-any party-said this at a news conference, I'd join his/her campaign immediately.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 08:44 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 32 words, total size 1 kb.