If you're not reading The Bleat regularly, shame on you. You'll miss columns such as this one wherein the Bloated Pustule from Davison, MI, gets crushed under a pile of logic and facts. And without using a single obscenity. I have to figure out how he manages to accomplish THAT on a regular basis. Anyway, here's an excerpt:

Again with the crushed rights. ItÂ’s a standard trope, a talisman worn smooth with obsessive rubbing, and people of MooreÂ’s stripe wonÂ’t let it go until the Patriot act is rescinded and we can go back to the good old days of petitioning judges for separate wiretaps for a suspected terroristsÂ’s individual cell phones and land lines. Fine. But letÂ’s talk about the rights and freedoms weÂ’ve crushed abroad. Leave aside Western Europe, which is still reeling from the decision by the Bush adminstration to use Warthogs to strafe all those street protests. Two questions:

Afghanistan had more / less freedoms under the Taliban

Iraq had more / less freedoms under Saddam

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Well, I wonder how Katie Couric/Tom Brokaw/Dan Rather/Moore-ons will spin this one. Money quote:

A UK government inquiry into the intelligence used to justify the war in Iraq is expected to conclude that Britain's spies were correct to say that Saddam Hussein's regime sought to buy uranium from Niger.

The silence will be deafening. Thanks to Professor Hewitt for the link.

Update: Ace offers some insights. Excerpt:

Right now, my sources* inform me that the mainstream media is about to report this nonstop for three weeks, just the way they reported (falsely) that Bush lied in stating these facts.
...
* My "sources" consist of:

1) "Smitty," a 77-year-old shut-in suffering from chronic schizophrenic dementia, and

2) his best friend, a foul-mouthed, time-travelling bologna sandwich named "Johnny Coldcuts," who speaks to him in nonstop vulgarities and enigmatic riddles about the future.

Update #2: James Joyner links to an article by Will Collier exposing a completely risible statement by the Democrat nominee for President. Eesh. Back in 2000, I thought the Dem's had hit the bottom of the barrel. I guess I should have looked UNDER the barrel.

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Three Michael Moore supporters are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, folks, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."

"We don't have any." replied the first Michael Moore supporter.

"Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the Game Warden.

"But officer," replied the second Michael Moore supporter, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."

The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the Game Warden left.

As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three Michael Moore supporterd started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second Michael Moore supporter said to the other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?!"

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Everyone is aware of the dumb blonde stereotype. They're supposed to be mindless idiots, dimly aware of the world around them and challenged by the simplest of facts, such as water being wet. It occurs to me that this is a pretty good description of Michael Moore's followers and that I can adapt pretty much any blonde joke in existence to ridicule the Moore-ons instead. On with joke #1:

A Michael Moore supporter gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. He has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense.

As soon as he boarded the plane, a Boeing 747, he started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting 'BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....'.

He sort of forgets where he is, even the pilot in the cock-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts 'BE SILENT!'.

There was pin-drop silence every where and everybody is looking at the Michael Moore supporter and the angry Pilot. He stared at the pilot in silence for a moment and all of a sudden started shouting, 'OEING ! OEING!! OEING!!! OE...'.

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Dean links to a story that gave me a RCOB moment. Excerpt:

The following essay was written by a second grader at a public school in suburban Wilmington Delaware this past May. It was read by the student in front of the class. After it was read, the teacher - who has been teaching for a very long time - said the following: “If you ever write anything like that again you are going straight to the principal’s office.”
...
The parent of the second grader brought the matter up to the teacher. She turned to the student and berated him for telling his parents about the incident. The parent also brought the matter up to the school principal, who has ignored the issue by saying that she has no way of contacting the teacher during Summer vacation.

I swear that if something like this happens to my child, the "teacher" in question will be picking up teeth. Another fine example from our publik skulz.

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So the field is set for this year's presidential election: Bush-Cheney vs. Kerry-Edwards. It reminds me of the Dan Quayle choice, except for the fact that Quayle was far more qualified and experienced than Edwards. In any event, the debates should be lively this fall. More to the point, SNL will have a field day. I'm looking forward to it.

Today is Wictory Wednesday. Every Wednesday I ask my readers to volunteer and/or donate to the Bush campaign if they haven't done so already. And if you have volunteered and donated, then get a friend to join you. It's the only way to defeat the lying liberal media.

If you're a blogger, you can join Wictory Wednesday simply by putting up a post like this every Wednesday, asking your readers to volunteer and/or donate to the president's re-election campaign. Be sure to visit these fine participating blogs:

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Megan McCardle posted an exceptionally fine rant yesterday concerning Michael Moore and the latest fad in debating techniques: "He/she lied! Anything I do can now be justified, including telling lies myself, because he/she lied!" Well put. Also, be sure to check out the debate in the comments section. Quite entertaining. Go there. Now.

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Once again it's time for another installment of everyone's favorite show, "My jokes suck the big one!" Okay, it's actually a Precision Guided Humor Assignment: If Michael Moore had a theme song, what would it be? This was a tough one until I started visualing some old MTV videos. Yes, it's true: MTV actually stands for Music Television and they used to broadcast videos instead whatever they show now. In any event, Men Without Talent Hats popped into my head and I started thinking of their one video of note for The Safety Dance. Truthfully, it might have been their one video ever. Anyway, the dwarf dancing around in the background reminded me of Michael Moore. That is, if Michael Moore were to immediately lose 500 pounds and got stuck in the gravitational field of a neutron star. So new lyrics started working their way around my brain. I'm sorry to report that they aren't family friendly, but that's the way it works out sometime. So here are the lyrics for Michael Moore's theme song, Bullshit Lies.

B-b-b-b U-u-u-u L-l-l-l L-l-l-l S-s-s-s H-h-h-h I-i-i-i T-t-t-t
Bullshit, lies!
[Spoken]
We can lie if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't lie and if they don't lie
Well they're no friends of mine
I say, we can lie when we want to
In fact I do it all the time
And we can act like we drank the Kool-Aid
And stick our heads up our behinds
And we can lie

[Sung]
We can lie if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't lie and if they don't lie
Well they're no friends of mine
I say, we can lie when we want to
In fact I do it all the time
And we can act like we drank the Kool-Aid
And stick our heads up our behinds
And we can lie
Lie-|yay!

We can lie when we want to
My movie sucks and so do I
And we can wear asshats from our heads to our feet
And surprise 'em with our demented cry(YEEAARRGGGHHH!)
Say, we can lie if want to
If fact we always probably willl
And you can act like a big fat jerk
And I can act like an imbecile

[Refrain]
I say, we can lie, we can lie
Big media is under our control
We can lie, we can lie
We're trying to affect the polls
We can lie, we can lie
About everything across the land
We can lie, we can lie
Everybody tellin' a li-i-iee

Bullshit lie
Is it a bullshit lie
Is it a bullshit lie

B-b-b-b U-u-u-u L-l-l-l S-s-s-s H-h-h-h I-i-i-i T-t-t-t
Bullshit, lies!

We can lie if we want to
We've got control of all their minds
Then I'm bettin', it's gonna affect the election
Everything'll work out right
I say, we can lie if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't lie and if they don't lie
Well they're no friends of mine
[Refrain]

Is it bullshit lies, oh is it bullshit lies [6x]
Is it bullshit lies

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The sun, of course. No shit.

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1 good work so far keep it up

Posted by: alhasan abdulai at January 12, 2005 11:38 AM (h7J44)

2 Nice Article

Posted by: Braunce at May 05, 2005 03:09 PM (pO5Hg)

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Thanks to James Taranto for pointing this little article out to me. It contains cognitive dissonance on a heretofore undreamed of scale. Excerpt:

"Terrorist" groups were seeking to acquire the warheads containing mustard or sarin gas which Polish troops recently discovered in Iraq, the head of Poland's military intelligence servicesaid on Friday.
...
No weapons of mass destruction have yet been found in Iraq, seriously undermining what was the central argument for the United States and Britain for launching their invasion of the country in March 2003.

Huh? Methinks that this newspaper needs better editors.

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I just checked my Dead Pool roster and noticed something: I had forgotten that I picked Marlon Brando. I'm no longer in last place, but rather am tied for 32nd place.

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Michelle Malkin in a cage match against the Washington Post. Bird cage liner takes a horrific beating.

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All my pets were either aquired from animal shelters or adopted as strays. If you want to get a kitten or puppy for your house, please consider giving a good home to rescued animals. In keeping with the theme of this post, I give you the following picture:

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Maybe Michael Moore and a horde of wolverines can learn to coexist in the same habitat. Hey, it MIGHT work. I'm certain that PETA members will be among the first volunteers.

I wonder if the tiger is dreaming of BLT's?

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The results can be pretty ugly. Ever watch a movie and mumble "Oh, please!" at some over-the-top impossible action sequence? I'm exempting all John Woo movies because he makes the best damn action sequences in motion pictures. In any event, this site rates movies based on their, um, adherence to physics. Excerpt:

THE MOVIE PHYSICS RATING SYSTEM
In the name of physics decency, to protect the minds of children everywhere, so that they may grow up in a world where they know the difference between speed and velocity, we have taken the responsibility to rate movies for their portrayal of excessively bad physics. The system is as follows:

GP = Good physics in general

PGP = Pretty good physics (just enough flaws to be fun)

PGP-13 = Children under 13 might be tricked into thinking the physics were pretty good; parental guidance is suggested

RP = Retch

XP = Obviously physics from an unknown universe

NR = Unrated. When a movie is obviously a parody, fantasy, cartoon or is clearly based on a comic book it can't be rated but may still have some interesting physics worth discussing.

The movie with the worst reliance on physics of all time? The Core.

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"Hello there. Say, that's a nice bat you've got in your hands. Are we playing a game today?"

"Why yes we are. It's called 'Administration of a Clue'. I'll go first, okay?"

Misha offers some advice to the press corps which they would be well advised to heed. Unfortunately, it's hard to hear when your head is so far up you ass.

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Supply of hand cream? Check.

Is my date here? Yes sir, Rosy Palm has just arrived. Check.

Is everyone sitting in a circle? Check.

Let the jerking commence forthwith.

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My local newspaper reprinted excerpts from a speech that Robert Heinlein delivered to the US Naval Academy back in 1973. I found the speech in its entirety over at Jerry Pournelle's site and am reprinting it in its entirety here. The speech is 31 years old, but it still rings true. Enjoy.

"The Pragmatics of Patriotism" Robert A. Heinlein EXPANDED UNIVERSE (Ace Science Fiction Books, 1980)

On 5 April 1973 I delivered the James Forrestal Memorial Lecture to the Brigade of Midshipmen at my alma mater the United States Naval Academy. As the first half of the lecture, at the request of the midshipmen, I discussed freelance writing. This is the second half:

In this complex world, science, the scientific method, and the consequences of the scientific method are central to everything the human race is doing and to wherever we are going. If we blow ourselves up we will do it by the misapplication of science; if we manage to keep from blowing ourselves up, it will be through intelligent application of science. Science fiction is the only form of fiction which takes into account this central force in our lives and futures. Other sorts of fiction, if they notice science at all, simply deplore it -- an attitude very chichi in the anti-intellectual atmosphere today. But we will never get out of the mess we are in by wringing our hands.

Let me make one flat-footed prediction of the science-fiction type. Like all scenarios this one has assumptions -- variables treated as constants. The primary assumption is that World War Three will hold off long enough -- ten, twenty, thirty years -- for this prediction to work out. . .plus a secondary assumption that the human race will not find some other way to blunder into ultimate disaster.

Prediction: In the immediate future -- by that I mean in the course of the naval careers of the class of '73 -- there will be nuclear-powered, constant-boost spaceships -- ships capable of going to Mars and back in a couple of weeks -- and these ships will be armed with Buck-Rogerish death rays. Despite all treaties now existing or still to be signed concerning the peaceful use of space, these spaceships will be used in warfare. Space navies will change beyond recognition our present methods of warfare and will control the political shape of the world for the foreseeable future. Furthermore -- and still more important -- these new spaceships will open the Solar System to colonization and will eventually open up the rest of the Galaxy.

I did NOT say that the United States will have these ships. The present sorry state of our country does not permit me to make such a prediction. In the words of one of our most distinguished graduates in his THE INFLUENCE OF SEA POWER UPON HISTORY: "Popular governments are not generally favorable to military expenditures, however necessary--"

Every military officer has had his nose rubbed in wry truth of Admiral Mahan's observation. I first found myself dismayed by it some forty years ago when I learned that I was expected to maintain the ship's battery of USS ROPER in a state of combat readiness on an allowance of less than a dollar a day -- with World War Two staring down our throats.

The United States is capable of developing such spaceships. But the mood today does not favor it. So I am unable to predict that WE will be the nation to spend the necessary R&D money to build such ships.

(Addressed to a plebe midshipman

Mister, how long is it to graduation?

Sixty-two days? Let's make it closer than that. I have. . .7.59, just short of eight bells. Assuming graduation for ten in the morning that gives. . .5,320,860 seconds to graduation. . .and I have less than 960 seconds in which to say what I want to say.

(To the Brigade at large

Why are you here?

(To a second plebe

Mister, why are YOU here?

Never mind, son; that's a rhetorical question. You are here to become a naval officer. That's why this Academy was founded. That is why all of you are here: to become naval officers. If that is NOT why YOU are here, you've made a bad mistake. But I speak to the overwhelming majority who understood the oath they took on becoming midshipmen and look forward to the day when they will renew that oath as commissioned officers.

But why would anyone want to become a naval officer?

In the present dismal state of our culture there is little prestige attached to serving your country; recent public opinion polls place military service far down the list.

It can't be the pay. No one gets rich on the pay. Even a 4-star admiral is paid much less than top executives in other lines. As for lower ranks the typical naval officer finds himself throughout his career just catching up from the unexpected expenses connected with the last change of duty when another change of duty causes a new financial crisis. Then, when he is about fifty, he is passed over and retires. . .but he can't really retire because he has two kids in college and one still to go. So he has to find a job. . .and discovers that jobs for men his age are scarce and usually don't pay well.

Working conditions? You'll spend half your life away from your family. Your working hours? "Six days shalt thou work and do all thou art able; the seventh day the same, and pound the cable." A forty-hour week is standard for civilians -- but not for naval officers. You'll work that forty-hour week but that's just a starter. You'll stand a night watch as well, and duty weekends. Then with every increase in grade your hours get longer -- until at last you get a ship of your own and no longer stand watches. Instead you are on duty twenty-four hours a day. . .and you'll sign your night order book with: "In case of doubt, do not hesitate to call me."

I don't know the average week's work for a naval officer but it's closer to sixty than to forty. I'm speaking of peacetime, of course. Under war conditions it is whatever hours are necessary -- and sleep you grab when you can.

Why would anyone elect a career which is unappreciated, overworked, and underpaid? It can't be just to wear a pretty uniform. There has to be a better reason.

As one drives through the bushveldt of East Africa it is easy to spot herds of baboons grazing on the ground. But not by looking at the ground. Instead you look up and spot the lookout, and adult male posted on a limb of a tree where he has a clear view all around him -- which is why you can spot him; he has to be where he can see a leopard in time to give the alarm. On the ground a leopard can catch a baboon. . .but if a baboon is warned in time to reach the trees, he can out-climb a leopard.

The lookout is a young male assigned to that duty and there he will stay, until the bull of the herd sends up another male to relieve him.

Keep your eye on that baboon; we'll be back to him.

Today, in the United States, it is popular among self-styled "intellectuals" to sneer at patriotism. They seem to think that it is axiomatic that any civilized man is a pacifist, and they treat the military profession with contempt. "Warmongers" -- "Imperialists" -- "Hired killers in uniform" -- you have all heard such sneers and you will hear them again. One of their favorite quotations is: "Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel."

What they never mention is that the man who made that sneering remark was a fat, gluttonous slob who was pursued all his life by a pathological fear of death.

I propose to prove that that baboon on watch is morally superior to that fat poltroon who made that wisecrack.

Patriotism is the most practical of all human characteristics.

But in the present decadent atmosphere patriots are often too shy to talk about it -- as if it were something shameful or an irrational weakness.

But patriotism is NOT sentimental nonsense. Nor something dreamed up by demagogues. Patriotism is as necessary a part of man's evolutionary equipment as are his eyes, as useful to the race as eyes are to the individual.

A man who is NOT patriotic is an evolutionary dead end. This is not sentiment but the hardest of logic.

To prove that patriotism is a necessity we must go back to fundamentals. Take any breed of animal -- for example, tyrannosaurus rex. What is the most basic thing about him? The answer is that tyrannosaurus rex is dead, gone, extinct.

Which brings us to the second fundamental question: Will homo sapiens stay alive? Will he survive?

We can answer part of that at once: Individually h. sapiens will NOT survive. It is unlikely that anyone here tonight will be alive eighty years from now; it approaches mathematical certainty that we will all be dead a hundred years from now as even the youngest plebe here would be 118 years old by then -- if still alive.

Some men do live that long but the percentage is so microscopic as not to matter. Recent advances in biology suggest that human life may be extended to a century and a quarter, even a century and a half -- but this will create more problems than it solves. When a man reaches my age or thereabouts, the last great service he can perform is to die and get out of the way of younger people.

Very well, as individuals we all die. This brings us to the second half of the question: Does homo sapiens AS A BREED have to die? The answer is: No, it is NOT unavoidable.

We have two situations, mutually exclusive: Mankind surviving, and mankind extinct. With respect to morality, the second situation is a null class. An extinct breed has NO behavior, moral or otherwise.

Since survival is the sine qua non, I now define "moral behavior" as "behavior that tends toward survival." I won't argue with philosophers or theologians who choose to use the word "moral" to mean something else, but I do not think anyone can define "behavior that tends toward extinction" as being "moral" without stretching the word "moral" all out of shape.

We are now ready to observe the hierarchy of moral behavior from its lowest level to its highest.

The simplest form of moral behavior occurs when a man or other animal fights for his own survival. Do not belittle such behavior as being merely selfish. Of course it is selfish. . .but selfishness is the bedrock on which all moral behavior starts and it can be immoral only when it conflicts with a higher moral imperative. An animal so poor in spirit that he won't even fight on his own behalf is already an evolutionary dead end; the best he can do for his breed is to crawl off and die, and not pass on his defective genes.

The next higher level is to work, fight, and sometimes die for your own immediate family. This is the level at which six pounds of mother cat can be so fierce that she'll drive off a police dog. It is the level at which a father takes a moonlighting job to keep his kids in college -- and the level at which a mother or father dives into a flood to save a drowning child. . .and it is still moral behavior even when it fails.

The next higher level is to work, fight, and sometimes die for a group larger that the unit family -- an extended family, a herd, a tribe -- and take another look at that baboon on watch; he's at that moral level. I don't think baboon language is complex enough to permit them to discuss such abstract notions as "morality" or "duty" or "loyalty" -- but it is evident that baboons DO operate morally and DO exhibit the traits of duty and loyalty; we see them in action. Call it "instinct" if you like -- but remember that assigning a name to a phenomenon does not explain it.

But that baboon behavior can be explained in evolutionary terms. Evolution is a process that never stops. Baboons who fail to exhibit moral behavior do not survive; they wind up as meat for leopards. Every baboon generation has to pass this examination in moral behavior; those who bilge it don't have progeny. Perhaps the old bull of the tribe gives lessons. . .but the leopard decides who graduates -- and there is no appeal from his decision. We don't have to understand the details to observe the outcome; Baboons behave morally -- for baboons.

The next level in moral behavior higher than that exhibited by the baboon is that in which duty and loyalty are shown toward a group of your kind too large for an individual to know all of them. We have a name for that. It is called "patriotism."

Behaving on a still higher moral level were the astronauts who went to the Moon, for their actions tend toward the survival of the entire race of mankind. The door they opened leads to hope that h. sapiens will survive indefinitely long, even longer than this solid planet on which we stand tonight. As a direct result of what they did, it is now possible that the human race will NEVER die.

Many short-sighted fools think that going to the Moon was just a stunt. But that astronauts knew the meaning of what they were doing, as is shown by Neil Armstrong's first words in stepping down onto the soil of Luna: "One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind."

Let us note proudly that eleven of the Astronaut Corps are graduates of this our school.

And let me add that James Forrestal was the FIRST high-ranking Federal official to come out flatly for space travel.

I must pause to brush off those parlor pacifists I mentioned earlier. . .for they contend that THEIR actions are on this highest moral level. They want to put a stop to war; they say so. Their purpose is to save the human race from killing itself off; they say that too. Anyone who disagrees with them must be a bloodthirsty scoundrel -- and they'll tell you that to your face.

I won't waste time trying to judge their motives; my criticism is of their mental processes: Their heads aren't screwed on tight. They live in a world of fantasy.

Let me stipulate that, if the human race managed its affairs sensibly, we could do without war.

Yes -- and if pigs had wings, they could fly.

I don't know what planet those pious pacifists are talking about but it can't be the third one out from the Sun. Anyone who has seen the Far East -- or Africa -- or the Middle East -- knows are certainly should know that there is NO chance of abolishing war in the foreseeable future. In the past few years I have ben around the world three times, traveled in most of the communist countries, visited many of the so-called emerging countries, plus many trips to Europe and to South America; I saw nothing that cheered me as to the prospects for peace. The seeds of war are everywhere; the conflicts of interest are real and deep, and will not be abolished by pious platitudes.

The best we can hope for is a precarious balance of power among the nations capable of waging total war -- while endless lesser wars break out here and there.

I won't belabor this. Our campuses are loaded with custard-headed pacifists but the yard of the Naval Academy is not on place where I will encounter them. We are in agreement that the United States still needs a navy, that the Republic will always have need for heroes -- else you would not be here tonight and in uniform.

Patriotism -- Moral behavior at the national level. Non sibi sed Patria. Nathan Hale's last words: "I regret that I have but one life to give for my country." Torpedo Squadron Eight making its suicidal attack. Four chaplains standing fast while the water rises around them. Thomas Jefferson saying, "The Tree of Liberty must be refreshed form time to time with the blood of patriots--" A submarine skipper giving the order "Take her DOWN!" while he himself is still topside. Jonas Ingram standing on the steps of Bancroft Hall and shouting, "The Navy has no place for good losers! The Navy needs tough sons of bitches who can go out there an WIN!"

Patriotism -- An abstract word used to describe a type of behavior as harshly practical as good brakes and good tires. It means that you place the welfare of your nation ahead of your own even if it costs you your life.

Men who go down to the sea in ships have long had another way of expressing the same moral behavior tagged by the abstract expression "patriotism." Spelled out in simple Anglo-Saxon words "Patriotism" reads "Women and children first!"

And that is the moral result of realizing a self-evident biological fact: Men are expendable; women and children are not. A tribe or a nation can lose a high percentage of its men and still pick up the pieces and go on. . .as long as the women and children are saved. But if you fail to save the women and children, you've had it, you're done, you're THROUGH! You join tyrannosaurus rex, one more breed that bilged its final test.

I must amplify that. I know that women can fight and often have. I have known many a tough old grandmother I would rather have on my side in a tight spot than any number of pseudo-males who disdain military service. My wife put in three years and a butt active duty in World War Two, plus ten years reserve, and I am proud -- very proud! -- of her naval service. I am proud of every one of our women in uniform; they are a shining example to us men.

Nevertheless, as a mathematical proposition in the facts of biology, children, and women of child-bearing age, are the ultimate treasure that we must save. Every human culture is based on "Women and children first" -- and any attempt to do it any other way leads quickly to extinction.

Possibly exctinction is the way we are headed. Great nations have died in the past; it can happen to us.

Nor am I certain how good our chances our. To me it seems self-evident that any nation that loses its patriotic fervor is on the skids. Without that indispensable survival factor the end is only a matter of time. I don't know how deeply the rot has penetrated -- but it seems to me that there has been a change for the worse in the last fifty years. Possibly I am misled by the offensive behavior of a noisy but unimportant minority. But it does seem to me that patriotism has lost its grip on a large percentage of our people.

I hope I am wrong. . .because if my fears are well grounded, I would not bet two cents on this nation's chance of lasting even to the end of this century.

But there is now way to force patriotism on anyone. Passing a law will not create it, nor can we buy it by appropriating so many billions of dollars.

You gentlemen of the Brigade are most fortunate. You are going to a school where this basic moral virtue is daily reinforced by precept and example. It is not enough to know what Charlie NOble does for a living, or what makes the wildcat wild, or which BatDiv failed to splice the main brace and why -- nor to learn matrix algebra and navigation and ballistics and aerodynamics and nuclear engineering. These things are merely the working tools of your profession and could be learned elsewhere; they do not require "four years together by the Bay where the Severn joins the tide."

What you do have here is a tradition of service. Your most important classroom is Memorial Hall. Your most important lesson is the way you feel inside when you walk up those steps and see that shot-torn flag framed in the arch of the door: "Don't Give Up the Ship."

If you feel nothing, you don't belong here. But if it give you goose flesh just to see that old battle flag, then you are going to find that feeling increasing every time you return here over the years. . .until it reaches a crescendo the day you return and read the list of your own honored dead -- classmates, shipmates, friends -- read them with grief and pride while you try to keep your tears silent.

The time has come for me to stop. I said that "Patriotism" is a way of saying "Women and children first." And that no one can force a man to feel this way. Instead he must embrace it freely. I want to tell about one such man. He wore no uniform and no one knows his name, or where he came from; all we know is what he did.

In my home town sixty years ago when I was a child, my mother and father used to take me and my brothers and sisters out to Swope Park on Sunday afternoons. It was a wonderful place for kids, with picnic grounds and lakes and a zoo. But a railroad line cut straight through it.

One Sunday afternoon a young married couple were crossing these tracks. She apparently did not watch her step, for she managed to catch her foot in the frog of a switch to a siding and could not pull it free. Her husband stopped to help her.

But try as they might they could not get her foot loose. While they were working at it, a tramp showed up, walking the ties. He joined the husband in trying to pull the young woman's foot loose. No luck --

Out of sight around the curve a train whistled. Perhaps there would have been time to run and flag it down, perhaps not. In any case both men went right ahead trying to pull her free. . .and the train hit them.

The wife was killed, the husband was mortally injured and did later, the tramp was killed -- and testimony showed that neither man made the slightest effort to save himself.

The husband's behavior was heroic. . .but what we expect of a husband toward his wife: his right, and his proud privilege, to die for his woman. But what of this nameless stranger? Up to the very last second he could have jumped clear. He did not. He was still trying to save this woman he had never seen before in his life, right up to the very instant the train killed him. And that's all we'll ever know about him.

THIS is how a man dies.

This is how a MAN. . .lives!

"They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old age shall not wither them nor the years condemn; As the going down of the sun and in the morning, we shall remember them..."

-Tomb of the Scottish Unknown Soldier, Edinburgh

Posted by: Physics Geek at 02:23 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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And I'm not talking Vitamin B supplements, either. Strychnine, anyone? Iit turns out that some Democrats in the US effing House of Representatives want the &#%#$#$ United Nations to monitor OUR Presidential Election. You know what I want? For those dickheads to go and fuck themself. Hat tip to the Inoperable Terran.

Update: Geek with a .45 has helpfully posted the names of these scumsuckers. For the record, any blue-helmeted people seen at my polling place are getting a serious can of whoopass opened on them.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 08:02 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Will Collier posted a story about how he made WFB laugh heartily. Excerpt:

My question: "Mr. Buckley, I'm sure you're familiar with the famous observation of Sir Winston Churchill that a young man who is not a liberal has no heart, but an old man who is a liberal has no brain.

"Just before the last election [1988], a poll here found that 75 percent of Auburn's students were voting for President Bush [41], while over 80 percent of the faculty were voting for Michael Dukakis."

(Brief pause for breath, hopeful I wouldn't screw up the punchline.)

"Given all those facts, would you say that Auburn is a school of heartless students, being taught by a brainless faculty?"

Posted by: Physics Geek at 05:30 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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