So Michele, too, has watched I Spit On Your Grave. I wonder if she's ever sat through Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS?

Posted by: Physics Geek at 11:34 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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So Democrat Senator Durbin has compared our troops to Nazis. Sigh. I'm too tired to be outraged. And let's face it: the dickwad isn't worth the effort. What I find disturbing, though, is that this guy is the Democratic Whip.

President Bush was an eminently beatable candidate last year. Until, that is, the Dem's nominated Kerry. And this year, the Republicans have been shooting themselves in the foot; the Senate, House and White House are ripe for the picking. So the Democrats decide to become completely unglued in public. It's pathetic.

I wish the Democrats would come to their senses so that I'd have the option of wanting to vote for one of them again.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 09:54 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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From a variety of sources(and yes, I know that some are probably repeats):

Did you hear the one about the psychic dwarf that escaped from prison?

The newspaper headlines read "small medium at large."
=============================================

An American businessman is visiting Japan.

The first night there, he's getting bored, so he hires a local hooker and they go at it all night. She keeps screaming "Fugifoo! Fugifoo!" and he takes this to mean he's doing something right.

The next day, he's out golfing with his Japanese clients and shoots a hole in one! He can't believe it, and, trying to impress his clients with his knowledge of Japanese, he shouts triumphantly, "Fugifoo!"

The Japanese guys stop and look at him, confused. "What are you talking about?" they ask. "That's the right hole."

========================================

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said,"Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought,"I don't fucking think so."

===============================================

A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his apartment and she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.

The woman is surprised that this guy would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side. She turns to him. They kiss....and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy l-o-v-e.

After an intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the after glow, the woman rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?"

The guy says: "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."

=========================================
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?"

"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language...things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me
home.... Please mama!"

"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?"

"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed they're just too awful! Come get me, please!"

"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset.... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"

Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama...words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK...!"

=================================================

A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud, upon which sat a rather plump and very ugly woman. "Screw me or climb the ladder to success," she said.

No contest, thought the man, so he climbed the ladder to the next cloud. On this cloud was a slightly thinner woman, who was slightly easier on the eye. "Screw me hard or climb the ladder to success," she said. "Well," thought the man, "might as well carry on."

On the next cloud was an even more attractive lady who, this time, was quite attractive. "Screw me now or climb the ladder to success," she uttered. As he turned her down and went on up the ladder, the man thought to himself that this was getting better the further he went.

On the next cloud was an absolute beauty. Slim, attractive, the lot. "Fuck me here and now or climb the ladder to success," she flirted.

Unable to imagine what could be waiting, and being a gambling man, he decided to climb again. When he reached the next cloud, there was a 400-pound ugly man, arm pit hair showing, flies buzzing around his head.

"Who are you?" the man asked.

"Hello" said the ugly fat man, "I'm Cess!"

Posted by: Physics Geek at 03:27 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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From David Letterman. Excerpt:

Top Ten Things Overheard During The Michael Jackson Verdict

10. "We the jury find the defendant not guilty--oh God, did I say the wrong one?"

9. "Of course he's nervous--look how pale he is"

8. "Will Mr. Blake and Mr. Simpson please keep the laughter down?"

7. "No, I think he'll do fine in prison"

6. "I'm a celebrity in an L.A. courtroom--I like my chances"

5. "Do you think this'll be on the news tonight?"

4. "We the jury find the defendant creepy"

3. "Michael, good news--I just saved 15 percent on my car insurance by switching to Geico"

2. "Wait, have Tito, Latoya and Jermaine always been on the jury?"

1. "Another case of a white guy getting preferential treatment"

And there's more. Lots more.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 12:54 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Our first beer is going to be an extract only brew and, to simply things even further, we're going to use what's called a beer kit. We will, however, discard the directions that come with the kit. Following those instructions reduces the chance of making a decent beer. Anyway.

So what kind of beer kit should you buy? Like anything else, it depends on what kind of beer you like. Stouts, pale ales, bitters, nut brown ale. For my part, I'm going to pick a nice, crisp, refreshing beer, one that will quench my summertime thirst. I'm not usually in the mood for a Guinness just after I've mowed the lawn. To that end, I've decided to brew my next beer using Coopers Draught malt extract kit. It comes in a 3.75 pound can, which isn't sufficient for a 5-gallon batch, meaning that I'll have to buy two. On to the next ingredient.

To magically transform malt sugar into alcohol, you're going to need yeast. Once again, we'll take the path of least resistance and use dried yeast. It's economical and easy to use. I've had good success using both Coopers Ale yeast and Doric ale yeast. The Munton's Ale yeast worked okay, too, but I've had more success with the other two. I recommend the Coopers Ale yeast because it ferments fairly well, even if the temperature climbs up out of the optimal range, which is certainly possible during the summer months.

The next ingredient is obvious: water. What may not be obvious, though, is that you shouldn't use plain old water straight out of the tap. Most municipal water systems are chlorinated and that stuff will make your beer taste like a child's wading pool. However, if your water is charcoal-filtered, you're all set. You could purchase 5-gallons of drinking water(not distilled) from the grocery store if you like, but I think it's unnecessary. Up to you, of course.

After your beer has fermented and you're ready to bottle, you'll have to add a little bit more yeast food to the beer so that it will carbonate in the bottle. So you'll need a little bit of corn sugar, about 3/4 cup or so. This is NOT table sugar and you won't find it in your grocery store. Just add it to your shopping cart when you're purchasing your other ingredients at the local homebrew supply shop.

Optional ingredient: some hop pellets for aroma/flavoring.

The kit you'll buy contains hops already, but these are bittering hops. There will be essentially no hop aroma from this kit unless you add some of your own. If you enjoy a nice hoppy aroma, you might consider tossing in 1/2 ounce of Cascade hop pellets. They have a great floral, citrusy aroma, which I really enjoy. Again, though, it's not necessary. Completely up to you.

To recap:

1) 2 x 3-4 pound cans of any hopped malt extract beer kit. I've chosen Coopers Draught kit for my brew; it comes in a 3.75 pound can.
NOTE: If your kit comes in a 6-7 pound can, you will only need one can. Just an FYI.

2) 5-gallons of water, with all of that nasty chlorine filtered out.

3) 1 package dried ale yeast, purchased separately from what's included with your beer kit

4) Optional: 1-ounce packet of Cascade hop pellets.

Up next in the series: brewing the darned thing.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 09:05 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Here is an image of the female brain in all its glory:

Take a good look at it before clicking on the extended link to see the brain of a man: more...

Posted by: Physics Geek at 03:56 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Via Neal Boortz. Excerpt:

Time suck of the day...Michael Jackson online games. Note that these do go offsite. If you don't have your computer set up to guard against adware, a virus, etc. then you may not want to click. Escape From Neverland | Wacko Jacko Soundboard | Michael Jackson Baby Drop

Posted by: Physics Geek at 11:11 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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This man has no medical training.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 08:53 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Excerpt:

THIS Death star can't wait for a one-man fighter to maneuver straight down his trench and skim the surface. The target area is a small thermal exhaust port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction.

Find more here and here.

Update: Someone sent me the following email. I have no idea if it's correct or not:

The punchline is... If I am not mistaken, that last picture - the one of the guy in the Jar-Jar costume - is the actual actor that stood in for Jar-Jar and he is wearing the gear that Lucas made him wear while filming the actual scenes. I kid you not.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 04:11 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I discovered the following definition while perusing the comments over at Vox's place:

The other day a friend and me joked about what a completely progressive "pastor" would be:

The "pastor" is a woman of course who is married to another woman who used to be a man, but before she decided on a transgendered life partner she experimented with alternative lifestyles until she was happiest. She would support abortion (having had two herself when she was younger), support embryonic stem cell research, gay marriage, and be a member of the green party. Theologically and philosophically she would put tolerance above truth and consistently undermine the authority of the Bible by questioning its historical accuracy in almost every area. Her sermons would never mention sin, hell, evil (unless she is referring to Bush or Hitler), or even salvation. She would teach that God and would essentially be a universalist.

I just can't wait to go to that church.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 03:14 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Sort of.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 12:19 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Steve H. posts a list of musical types that he'd use to torture terrorists. While I mostly agree with him, there's one point that confuses me. Excerpt:

2. Disco. ALL disco. Again, women are to blame. Women like to dance, and men like sex, so they dance to make women happy. Result: K.C. and the Sunshine Band becoming rich and famous instead of being tied to posts and shot, the way they should have been. Two kinds of men like disco: gay men, and men who are such dogs they would drink septic-tank smoothies if they thought it would get them laid.

Is he going somewhere with this?

Posted by: Physics Geek at 11:49 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I'm no fan of the Clintons, but this sort of crap simply proves that some people are absolutely batshit crazy for money, peddling any sort of story that's likely to sell more books. Ed Klein, you are a steaming pile of dung. Bill and Hillary don't deserve this, and Chelsea certainly doesn't. Normally, I'd be shocked at someone printing unprovable excrement like this. Then again, Ed Klein IS a former Newsweek editor.

Captain Ed has more.

Update: Ankle Biting Pundits has more.

Update: Not surprisingly, Dean's reaction mirrors my own.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 11:10 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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And you can find the details right here. Excerpt:

Without a hint of irony, Edith Lederer of The Associated Press reported June 3 that "U.N. satellite imagery experts have determined that material that could be used to make biological or chemical weapons and banned long-range missiles has been removed from 109 sites in Iraq."

We've been told repeatedly by those on the Left -- which includes most journalists -- that Bush Lied! when he gave the danger posed by Saddam's WMD programs as one of the reasons for going to war with Iraq. Did the United Nations lie, too? Is it lying now? When did Karl Rove go to work for Kofi Annan?

I'm certain that they'll mention this story any minute. Probably right after the next commercial break.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 08:36 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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And of course, it's from Mark Steyn. He demolishes the "Gitmo is a Gulag!" meme currently in progress at your local MSM outlet. Excerpt:

No serious allegation of torture at the camp has been substantiated, and in the al-Qaida training manual found in Manchester, England, a couple of years back Rule 18 couldn't be more explicit: When held captive by the infidel, members must "complain to the court of mistreatment while in prison" and say that "torture was inflicted on them." A healthy skepticism would thus seem to be advisable. Instead, Thomas Friedman of the New York Times runs around shrieking like a hysterical ninny that Washington needs to shut down Guantanamo right now -- not because of anything that actually occurred there -- but because of negative "perceptions" of the camp in the overseas press.

And would caving in to those negative perceptions lead to any better press? Nobody got killed in Gitmo, so instead America's being flayed as the planet's No. 1 torturer for being insufficiently respectful to the holy book of its prisoners, even though the Americans themselves supplied their prisoners with the holy book, even though Americans who fall into the hands of the other side get their heads hacked off, even though the prisoners' co-religionists themselves blow up more mosques and Qurans than the Pentagon ever does, even though the preferred holy book of most Americans is banned in the home country of many of the prisoners, where respect for other faiths is summed up in the headline, "Seven Christians Released In Saudi Arabia On Condition They Renounce Private Religious Practice."

Posted by: Physics Geek at 08:31 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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"Is it soup yet?"

"It's simmering, sir!"
--------------------------------------

This week's installment of Carnival of the Recipes has been served over at News From the Great Beyond.

I have got to start remembering to submit my recipes on time.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 08:22 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I'm certain that some honchos at 7-11 HQ are thinking that very thing right now. They're probably writing a new memo now, which details things that they'll allow their employees to do when someone tries to rob them:

1) You may sneeze and blow your nose whenever you so desire. Unless you're emptying the cash register right then, of course. We don't criminals to think all of our money has snot on it.

2) After much deliberation, the 7-11 powers that be will allow you to evacuate your bowels when a pistol is pushed into your mouth. Be advised that you may NOT act in this manner if the gun is merely pressed against your temple.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 09:24 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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They turn bad so young these days... more...

Posted by: Physics Geek at 04:30 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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I suppose that I shouldn't be surprised at anything someone from a party led by YEEAARRRGGGHHH! Dean says, but I have to give them credit: they keep lowering the bar. Excerpt:

Initially I though, this is not as bad as it seems; Rangel is not making a grossly offensive comparison of the liberation of 26 million people from tyranny with the killing of 6 million Jews. What a relief. He's merely making a stupid, inaccurate, and hysterical comparison of the public reactions to both events. Stupid, inaccurate, and hysterical, because after all, Iraq, in all its aspects and from all the perspectives, is the most talked about issue in the world today.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 09:42 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Cast
------
Sales clerk: Whoopi Goldberg
Customer: Robert Redford

[Scene: At the counter inside a Lidden's Paint store. Customer walks in the front door and approaches the counter.]

Customer: "I'd like to buy 2 gallons of purple paint, please."

Clerk: "I'm sorry, but we're all out of that."

Customer: "Shit."

Out of the Color Purple. Coming soon to a theater near you.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 02:21 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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