I have no comments to make about this story. No wait, I do. W.T.F.?!

Since quirkies roll off the site quickly, here it is in all of its horrible glory:

Charlize Theron says she would love to marry Ozzy Osbourne.

Although she is dating actor Stuart Townsend, the Oscar-winning beauty has confessed she has a huge crush on the rocker and would love to be his wife.

She said: "I have this thing about wanting to marry him. I like those older guys. I have this weird nurturing sense."

Charlize has returned to the set of her new movie, Aeon Flux, after recovering from a neck injury.

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"People said that Edwards won the debate?! You're killing me!"

Posted by: Physics Geek at 03:42 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I'm sick of hearing about how "Bush banned stem cell research!" That meme pisses me off so much that I want to kick it, stab it, stomp on it and then set fire to it. And then pour gasoline on the fire. Red Sugar makes a more polite case against that lie. Thanks to Dean for the link.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 03:23 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Have you ever handed a sales clerk a twenty dollar bill, only to have him ask, "Do you have anything smaller?" Imagine his response if you plopped this onto the counter.

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I was so busy changing diapers on the most beautiful girl in the world(outside of my wife, of course) that I missed Kim du Toit posting skin pics of Rose McGowan. Yes, she boinked Marilyn Manson. Yes, she can appear freaky in interviews. And no, I don't give a rat's patootie.

Lucky dog.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 04:38 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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So CBS won't conclude their investigation into the fraudulent documents they attempted to foist onto the American people because they don't want to tamper "with the presidential race". Funny, I don't remember them being that reticent about affecting the presidential race by using forgeries. Maybe I'm being too hard on them. Nah.

Update: So Hindrocket is more eloquent in his assessment. Sue me.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 03:48 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Bill Whittle has a new post up and it's typically excellent. Parts 1 and 2 can be found here and here. Excerpt:

It all comes down to carrots (liberals) or sticks (conservatives). By the way: if youÂ’re in a rush and need to run, hereÂ’s the spoiler: You can offer a carrot. Not everybody likes carrots. Some people may hate your carrot. Your carrot may offend people who worship the rutabaga. But no one likes being poked in the eye with a stick. ThatÂ’s universal.

I’m a stick man. I wish it were different. But part of growing up – in fact, the essential part of growing up – is realizing that wishing does not make it so.

Folks, itÂ’s time to reach down deep and get in touch with our inner adult.

Go read it... ah, you know the drill. Get started.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 02:59 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Vice Presidential nominee Edwards exposed as lightweight on foreign affairs by Cheney. I know, I know, peope vote for the top of the ticket, but the idea of that guy being a heartbeat away disturbs me a bit.

Oh, and John? That little pink thing over in the corner is your ass. Cheney meant to hand it to you, but you were too busy wiping the blood off of your face.

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So the US Supreme Court has decided to hear a case involving eminent domain abuse. It seems that New London, Connecticut, decided that "public use" should be defined as something that creates more tax revenues than what is usually garned from personal property taxes on domestic dwellings. Let me be clear: if SCOTUS rules against the current property owners, we're done as a country. No more private ownership of property will be allowed. Oh, the fiction will be maintained when you decide to buy a house. The property will be all yours... until the local government decides to replace your neighborhood with a new Target store, or a hotel, or pretty much anything that generates more tax revenues. Once private property becomes essentially outlawed, we will no longer be citizens. We will be serfs serving our lord and masters in government, living off of whatever scraps they deign to give us.

Update: Jeff Jacoby weighs in on this topic in his typically erudite manner.

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California's State Supreme Court ruled that Catholic agencies must provide contraception to their employees. The US Supreme Court declined to hear the case and thus the ruling stands. Excerpt:

"If the state of California can coerce Catholic agencies to pay for contraceptives, it can force them to pay for abortions," attorney Kevin Baine told justices in an appeal for Catholic Charities.

If I were the agency, I would thumb my nose and show my ass to the state. Just my opinion, of course.

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Case in point is this story, wherein a man mistakes his penis for chicken neck and accidentally cuts it off. And it gets worse: a dog ate it. So long, willie. We knew ye well.

Update: Ace weighs in. Excerpt:

Now, I never mistook my penis for a chicken neck, but I did once erroneously believe that one of my testicles was a tangerine that would be very tasty blended up into a margarita, so I can sympathize with this guy.

Yes, I lost a testicle, but I did invent Mangerine Margarita Mix, and I'm now well on my way to being a multi-millionaire. As my Pappy used to say, no door closes without a window being opened.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 02:52 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Any. Minute. Now.

What am I speaking of? It looks like John Effing Kerry's hometown newspaper just endorsed George W. Bush for President. Excerpt:

When it comes to the war on terror, President Bush means to keep our military strong and our country secure.

John Kerry, on the other hand, has all the attributes of the shape of water when it comes to telling us what he believes and what he'd do for America. Like incoming and outgoing tides, Kerry is content to go with the flow. In a dangerous world infested with sharks, Kerry would be chum at America's expense.

Thanks to Jonah for pointing out the link.

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Neal Boortz linked to the official Florida online ballot for this November. Check it out.

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When I heard that Kerry had surged ahead in the latest Newsweek poll, I called bullshit immeditately, even before I checked out the underlying numbers. This was due, in part, to the polling of registered voters instead of likely voters. Any pollster with an ounce of honesty(this would apparently preclude most modern day Democrats, with Pat Caddell as the major exception) knows that likely voters are a far more reliable sample population to use. Also, this isn't the first time that the magazine had tried similar shenanigans. Remember right after the Democrat convention in 2000 when Gore surged ahead of Bush? Newsweek put Gore on the cover the very next week with the following headline: Gore by 10! Not surprisingly, the Newsweek pollsters had sampled registered voters. Why? Let's not put a happy face on that one: the magazine was trying to create an aura of inevitability around Gore's campaign. It might have worked, too, except that Gore showed everyone how much of an asshole he really was during the debates.

Anyway, enough with the history lesson. Powerline has the goods on Newsweek's latest attempt to put a happy face on the Kerry campaign. Excerpt:

UPDATE: Reader Meg Kreikemeier points out that according to RealClearPolitics, Newsweek's most recent poll included 345 Republicans, 364 Democrats and 278 independents. This compares to Newsweek's published data for their most recent prior poll, which showed President Bush with a comfortable lead: 391 Republicans,
300 Democrats and 270 independents. Yes, if you drop 46 Republicans and add 64 Democrats, you will get considerably better results for the Democratic nominee. This is a good reminder of why poll data always need to be taken with a grain of salt, especially until you see the underlying data.

We all knew that the MSM would be trumpeting "The Kerry Surge!™" in the event that the junior senator from Massachusetts managed to close the gap at all. I'm almost glad that I'll be back at work from maternity leave so that I won't have to watch Katie Couric and Matt Lauer ask questions such as this one:

"Is there any way that President Bush can climb up out of this hole, or is Kerry simply too far ahead now?"

Count on it.

Update: For the record, the first debate was a "must have" for Kerry. If he had tanked, the election would have been over. Democrats, as a party, head for the hills when their candidate looks like he's losing. This becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and landslides ensue. All Kerry's performance did was to crystalize his base. Any Bush voters that are despairing out there should get smacked across the face. Hard. Ace has more. Excerpt:

Before anyone goes all to pieces, though, bear in mind that Bush's lead was just as ephemeral and soft as Kerry's momentum is at the moment. I think Kerry did himself some real good -- good that won't dissipate, and increased support that will remain permanent -- but that's only a fraction of the current shift of support.

Bush was up, then Kerry, then Bush, now Kerry (sort of). Voter sentiment does seem to be pretty volatile, and votes seem to swing according to whoever's getting the best press of the week. The winner might just be the man who has the last good news before the election.

Or the man who makes the next-to-last-mistake.

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President Bush is even less articulate than usual tonight, in my opinion. Against almost anyone else, that might be fatal. However, John Kerry's mind-numbing recitation of his stump speech points might give me an aneurysm. Kerry needed to hit a homerun tonight. So far, it hasn't happened.

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