April 17, 2007
I want to start with a basic premise: When your first child is born, your life stops being about what you want and starts being about what they need. If you disagree, then you can stop reading now. The rest of what I say will only make sense to those who understand that this is the foundation of fatherhood.
The problem, of course, is not with your kids but with your wife. You may be having a tough time in your marriage. You may be thinking that you no longer love or can live with your wife. You may believe that divorce is the only remaining option. I dont know your situation. I won't pretend to be able to understand what you are going through. I only know this: you're children need you at home. Your sons and your daughters need your presence. Real fathers dont leave their children
I'm fully aware of how unpopular such a claim will be. Our society tells us that you shouldn't "stay together just for the kids." Our culture tells us that progress has made fatherhood a vestigial artifact. Our hearts tell us that we deserve to pursue our own bliss.
Such an unpopular sentiment bears repeating: When your first child is born, you're life stops being about what you want and starts being about what they need. They need you at home. If you're a man and aspire to being a dad, that is all you need to know.
Every night before I go to sleep, I check in on each of my children. I usually give them a kiss, too. And I kiss them both before I leave for work each day. They're sort of fatherhood bookends to my days. I can't imagine going through days without them. If you can, in fact, imagine such a thing, I will posit that maybe. just maybe, you shouldn't have children.
Thanks to Vox for the link.
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