August 28, 2005

God be with you, New Orleans

You're going to need all the help you can get. Right now, Divine Intervention is about all that stands between you and the creation of Lake New Orleans.

I go away on vacation for a couple of days, heading to a place where I purposely wouldn't watch television. When I left, Katrina was a TD/ Cat-1 hurricane getting ready to irritate the tip of Florida. When I arrived back home, Katrina had become Camille on steroids, bearing down on the Big Easy. The #3 scenario of the worst disasters this country might face(SF earthquake and terrorist attack on NYC being the others) is about to become a reality. This is likely to be the worst natural disaster this country has ever faced.

Update: Katrina veered east near the last minute and New Orleans, while suffering significant destruction, will survive. This time. Maybe now is a good time to start working on some protective measures.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 09:32 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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August 24, 2005

Stress test

I am not sure exactly how it works, but this is amazingly accurate. Read the full description before looking at the picture.

The picture below has 2 identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress level at St. Mary's Hospital. Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical.

A closely monitored, scientific study of a group revealed that in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical, a person under stress would find differences in the two dolphins. If there are many differences found between both dolphins, it means that the person is experiencing a great amount of stress.

Look at the photograph in the extended entry and if you find more than one or two differences, you may want to take a vacation.


Posted by: Physics Geek at 03:37 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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August 18, 2005

Public introspection

Jeff Goldstein put up a poll to determine whether or not he's too profane. Personally, I consider a day without a dick/fart joke to be a waste of time.

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French excellence

As this story aptly demonstrates, the French are still the best in the world at running away.

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True friendship

1) When you are sad - I will help get you drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2) When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3) When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.

4) When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5) When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.

6) When you are confused - I will use little words.

7) When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

Remember: A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn.... that was fun!"

Posted by: Physics Geek at 03:32 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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August 15, 2005

Office fun

Boring meetings got you down? Then consider the items found at this site, which are guaranteed to liven things up, possibly to the point where you get arrested. Be aware that I do not advocate the use of the items you'll find at OfficeGuns. Now stop bothering me; I have to go raid the supply cabinet.

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August 09, 2005

Speaking of things that bite

Or more to the point, things that currently don't, Kate needs some more contributions to her Fang Fund.

Get well soon, Kate.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 09:31 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Spider envy

I stumbled onto this post by Meryl Yourish and flashed back to an ugly incident that I had with a large spider.

About 10 years ago, I lived in a 50 year old house that had a detached garage. The garage contained a Smithsonian quality vintage refrigerator inside that surprisingly still worked. The 100 or so bottles of beer that I brewed each month had a nice, cold place to live without preventing me from storing perishables. One afternoon, after a long day at work, I walked out to the garage to grab a chilly one. When I placed my hand upon the doorknob, I noticed something sticky, which reflect a bit of sunlight. My eyes moved up until I noticed that I was staring at grayish blob, somewhere between the size of a silver half-dollar and dollar, and about 6 inches from my face. I knew right away that it was a spider(middle of the web and all), but I wasn't certain if it was still alive or was simply a clinging, crumpled legs corpse. So I grabbed a stick and took a swing at the thing. My aim was a bit off, what with my being in shock and all, but I noticed that the form shrunk in on itself a bit. Great; it's alive. So I swung again. Must have gotten a bit closer because the fun began in earnest.

The spider extended its legs ::SPLANG:: and started making for the top of the garage. I hesitated for a split second due to two things:

1) The thing was freaking enormous. It's splayed legs covered an area greater than that of my hands with all fingers fully extended. And

2) The knowledge that another 1/8 of a step would have placed that bad boy squarely on my kisser.

Fear is a great motivator, but so is good beer. If I didn't somehow kill that mutant extra from Kingdom of the Spiders, I would be unable to enter my garage until winter. Being cocooned as an after dinner snack just doesn't appeal to me. Anyway, I swung one last time at the swiftly vanishing creature, applying extra force due to my thirst. The vile beast exploded into pieces, which thankfully landed nowhere near me.

Here's the kicker: my best friend was living in my house at the time. When I mentioned my arachnoid encounter, he replied, "Yeah, that thing was huge. I had to duck really low to get into the garage."

"WTF?! Why didn't you tell me about it? What would you have said if I told you the spider had jumped onto my face?"

"I'd have said, 'Gee, that's too bad'."

Yeah, I love the bastard, too.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 09:12 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Harvey doesn't suck

But apparently he does blow.

Sorry, Harvey. I just couldn't resist

Posted by: Physics Geek at 08:42 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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August 07, 2005

Informational post

To whom it may concern:

This blog is a hobby, something I enjoy doing. It gives me chance to post whatever interests me, and it's allowed me to make some great cyber-contacts. I get some great dialogues going with frequent visitors; comments are always welcome. Having said that, I'll get to my point: you trackback spammers are really pissing me off. I find that I'm having to add about 50+ comments and/or trackbacks to MT's Blacklist every week. Assuming that last month's trend continues, I'll eventually be buried under an availanche of crap. I know that I could beg Pixy Misa for some help by adding something along the lines of a Turing test. Instead, I've decided to bend you folks over and shove something really hard up your collective asses. Any valid email address or website URL that I find buried in commercials for online gaming or Internet porn-but not restricted to those- will get either get one of two treatments. Both if I have the time:

1) Email addresses will be submitted at every pr0n listserver or website that I can find, including ones that refer to special relationships between humans and animals. As an added bonus, I'll sign you up for online mortgage quotes and free samples of penis-enlarging materials. Have fun with your spam filter.

2) I will fucking Googlebomb your website's name so that all searches for your site will automatically point to sites such as Stormfront. Maybe the IRS, if I'm feeling generous.

I realize that these activites will take away from the limited blogging time that I have, but I'm okay with that. Bitchslapping you cretinous pieces of human excrement will make my days just a little bit brighter.

And before anyone mentions it, yes, I'm aware that I'll be shoveling shit against the tide. I don't care. If it mucks up at least one or two trackback/comment spammers so that they have to switch sites/email addresses, I'll be happy.

P.S. This is, of course, a joke. I would never knowingly conspire to commit acts that might run me afoul of laws that protect the human debris using my blog as a wastebasket. Of course I wouldn't.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 05:14 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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August 04, 2005

I missed it

I was watching an M. Night Shyamalan movie and wanted to see what his next project was. Much to my Google surprise, he needs extras for Lady In The Water. Much to my horror, the casting call was in late June. Worst of all, the casting call info appeared in my hometown newspaper.

One plus that I see this movie is that Bryce Dallas Howard will once again be starring. Whether or not you liked The Village, Opie's daughter delivered a stirring performance. I look forward to seeing her work again.

One final note: the release date is set for July 21, 2006. Only 350 days to go.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 11:15 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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August 02, 2005

Little bastard

The poor defenseless babysitter being mauled against her will by her 8-year old charge. Excerpt:

After hiring the teenager to baby sit, Grosbeck got the feeling something was wrong.

“It was just that sense that something wasn’t quite right with this 14-year-old girl,” she said. She asked her son what had happened. “He just came right out as if nothing was awry, and just started talking about what had happened.”

Grosbeck went to police and child protection workers, and the case went to the district attorney, after which her son, age eight, had been charged with an act of lewdness with a minor.

Grosbeck says the Salt Lake County District Attorney told her both the child and teenager were equal participants. But Mrs. Grosbeck didn’t believe that.

Do you wonder if the Salt Lake County DA subscribes to NAMBLA Monthly, or am I the only one?

Posted by: Physics Geek at 08:30 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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