October 31, 2008
Election List IV: The Things I Think About As I Stare At This Picture of Joe Biden
1. It looks like doll hair.
2. Men shouldnt botox.
10. It still looks like doll hair.
There's so much more relish. Go and laugh your ass off.
October 30, 2008
Don't overindulge this Halloween.
"Uh, good evening Mr. Reynolds.
Trick or treat?"
Self-hating dogs for Glenn.
Newly registered Democrat voters in Ohio display their support for Obama.
The future of Happy Meals if Glenn Reynolds has his way.
"Who's your daddy now, beeyatch?"
No Halloween would be complete without a visit from our special friend, Seymour Butz.
And the Puppy Blender's sphere of influence continues to grow.
October 28, 2008
October 27, 2008
A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.
However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping
on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...
October 22, 2008
"But I promise you, if one of these inevitable nuclear attacks is, God forbid, successful, Barack Obama and I will conduct tough and open negotiations with our new overlords," said Biden. "Ol' Joe Biden learned how to negotiate at his dad's used car lot in Scranton PA, and if these overlords think they can swing some sort of lowball occupation deal, I'll just tell them 'I gotta go get my manager,' and then... boo-yeah! In comes Barack Obama to upsell them undercoating and extra exercise yard privileges for you and me."
After rubbing tapioca into his armpits and singing what appeared to be the Numa-Numa song, Biden mounted a Segway and crashed through a side door.
A spokesman for the Obama-Biden campaign later clarified the Senator's remarks, and urged reporters "not to take Senator Biden's words out of context."
When asked what context that was, the spokesman explained that "the Senator has massive brain damage."
October 20, 2008
How to handle political conflicts.
October 16, 2008
October 06, 2008
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will
have $49.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today. But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.
It is called the 401-Keg.
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!
Makes you proud to be an American!
October 02, 2008
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