May 12, 2006

A somewhat different take

I loved the Chronicles of Narnia movie. I even pointed out to my wife that the light pole came from [SPOILER REMOVED!!] when [EDITED FOR SPOILERS]. Anyway, Jay Pinkerton has a slightly different take on it. Excerpt to follow, but you need to read the whole thing so that I won't be the only person holding in gales of laughter at work.

Narnia, on the other hand, is like the K-Mart discount bin of mythology. Every monster or creature you've ever heard of is incoherently tossed in with the animal kingdom, and now they all talk. I like fantasy as much as the next sixth level cleric, but the bare minimum for me is knowing the author gave his ridiculous shit more thought than I'll have to. Narnia comes off like a shitty Trapper-Keeper drawing by a twelve-year-old who plays Dungeons & Dragons and really likes the zoo. In one scene a pair of badgers have a conversation with Santa Claus, and in another a human on a talking horse does battle with the White Witch of the North while griffins divebomb centaurs, and your head’s just spinning from the random senselessness of it.

Let me break this down for Harry Potter fans, since there seem to be a lot of you: it'd be like if someone rewrote the Harry Potter books, and instead of having a clearly defined world populated by a hierarchy of wizards and witches where everything makes consistent sense within the reality of that world, Harry Potter was suddenly teaming up with Merlin, Robin Hood and Zeus to fight the Easter Bunny and a talking elephant that's also Ganesha. I hope your reaction would be "What the fuck?"

Posted by: Physics Geek at 01:58 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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May 11, 2006

I laughed, I cried.

It was better than Cats

The Only News Source You'll Ever Need posts a thoughtful essay about the dish best served cold. And by thoughtful, I mean fat and gay. Just an FYI.

I could excerpt from the damned thing, but I'd rather someone else get busted at work for laughing at crap like this.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 02:43 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 63 words, total size 1 kb.

Latest problem

And, finally, Washington insiders are talking about a terrorist captured at the airport in Little Rock, Ark. He claimed to be a teacher, but Transportation Security Administration authorities found in his possession a compass, protractor and calculator. He has been identified by the Justice Department as belonging to the notorious al-Gebra group and charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 12:27 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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An oldie, but...

Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap.  Father Bill says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress.  He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand and heads back to the showers.

He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way.  Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue.  The nuns stop and comment on how lifelike he looks.  The first nun cannot resist temptation, suddenly reaches out and pulls on his manhood.  Startled, he drops one of the bars of soap. "Oh look" says the first nun, "its a soap dispenser."

To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood.  Sure enough, he drops the second bar of soap.

The third nun decides to have a go. She pulls once, then twice and three times but nothing happens.  So she gives several more tugs, then yells! "Mary, Mother of God - Hand Lotion too!"

Posted by: Physics Geek at 11:48 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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