September 26, 2007

Health report

I wasn't feeling well, so I went to see my doctor. He told me that I needed to eat better to feel better. He said that I should visualize my foods as colors- red, yellow, green- and that I should eat those colors. So I went home and ate a big plate of M&Ms. Sure enough, I felt much better.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 02:30 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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September 25, 2007

Question answered

Jay Pinkerton, over at Cracked, runs down which movie version Batman is the baddest of them all. Excerpt:

#5. ADAM WEST - Batman: The Movie (1966)
Ass-Kicking Ability
BatWest fights like someone having a stroke. To be fair, Batman: The Movie's supposed to be campy. To once again be unfair, it looks like they didn't so much choreograph their fights as just run around flailing their arms like the set just caught on fire:

#4. GEORGE CLOONEY - Batman & Robin (1997)
BatClooney sees no problems whatsoever with suiting Chris O'Donnell and Alicia Silverstone up in benippled costumes and enlisting the idiots in his war on crime, despite the fact that no right-thinking person would trust Chris O'Donnell or Alicia Silverstone to lick stamps without turning purple and asphyxiating themselves.
#2. MICHAEL KEATON - Batman (1989), Batman Returns (1992)
Smoothness with the Ladies
For a short guy with no muscles, BatKeaton scores positively epic amounts of ass during his Bat-tenure in Batman and Batman Returns, including Kim Basinger and Michelle Pfeiffer in a catsuit. Must be that impressive wingspan on the cape.

Plus, unlike other Batmen (who refuse to get involved in relationships because it would distract from their war on crime), BatKeaton's all about the pussy: That crime stuff can just chill out for a night, he'll get to it tomorrow. He freely reveals his identity to his girlfriends, romances them with candle-lit meals at Wayne Manor, and then makes them watch him sleep upside-down after he's bedded them. That's a little creepy, admittedly, but one could argue that after you've managed to bed '80s-era Kim Basinger, you can pretty much go ahead and do any goddamn thing you'd like.

The rest, gentle readers, I leave for your perusal.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 11:07 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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September 19, 2007

Shiver me timbers!

It's Talk Like a Pirate Day. Again. It always seems to sneak up on me; I guess it's down to the Locker with me.

Update: Received via email from a friend:

Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day

(We came up with these in an effort to interest The Other Dave (Letterman) in TLAPD. His staff liked 'em, but alas, his show was"dark" the week of Sept. 19.)

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.

Arrggghh, as it were.

Update: Well, the result of this pirate name generator kind of sucks:

You've recently acquired a peg leg, eye patch, hook and parrot, but now you need that perfect pirate name. Enter your current name and be redubbed:

Old name: physics geek

We'll now call ye:

Androgynous Bernard Smithe

Posted by: Physics Geek at 09:20 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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September 12, 2007

Surprising result

I didn't make the list.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 12:15 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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September 04, 2007

With a bang, not a whimper

Via VW Bug comes this quiz, which gave me the following result:

How will I die?
Your Result: You will die while having sex.

Your last moments in this life will be enjoyable indeed...hopefully. Do not fear sex. Try not to become celibate as a way of escaping death. You cannot run from destiny.

You will die while saving someone's life.
You will die in your sleep.
You will be murdered.
You will die from a terminal illness.
You will die in a nuclear holocaust.
You will die of boredom.
You will die in a car accident.
How will I die?
Create a Quiz

My heart is still pretty strong, so it's gonna take some serious getting my freak on to kill me. Either that or some seriously advanced age.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 11:56 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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September 03, 2007

Better than nuking the moon

Harvey, in an alternate reality, has Bush practice diplomacy the way it should be practiced.

In a Tehran news conference, Iran's President scoffed at the threat of military action against his regime, saying that "even if they were to decide to do so, they would be unable to carry it out."

Bush responded calmly to the defiance. "I suppose Amedinejad - or 'Amy' as I like to call him - is right. Americans certainly don't seem to have the cojones for a decent war these days. That's why I intend to start with diplomatic pressure. Specifically, economic sanctions. More specifically, a declaration of economic sanctions duct-taped to a 10-megaton warhead."

I giggle every time that I read it. Go check it out.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 09:31 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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