November 07, 2005

In rare form

Mike has the latest draft of our living Constitution. Excerpt:


We hold these truths to be open to interpretation, that all Men, Wymyrns, Chyldryns, and Animals are created Equal and must remain exactly so throughout the course of their Lives, especially in an economic sense; that they are endowed by the Government of their Betters with certain negotiable Rights, ripe for Dialoguing, that among these are Life (in the Collective), Liberty (to a point), and the pursuit of Happiness (to be defined by us at a later date, and to specifically preclude the practice of Christianity and Judaism) –That to define these rights, Governments are instituted among Men by their Betters, deriving their absolute powers from the consent of the Enlightened, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of Individual Liberty, it is the Right of the Elite to expand it, and to institute new Rules incessantly, laying their foundation on such principles and organizing its powers as Political Correctness shall demand, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Seeming Surface Harmony and Balance with Gaia.
...
Bill of Malleable Particulars

Article [I.] Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of Christian or Judaic religion, or prohibiting the free exercise of Islamism, Wiccanism, or Paganism; or abridging the freedom of speech of the Enlightened, or of the Mainstream Press, such term understood to specifically exclude Wingnut Bloggers or any and all aggregations of Americans organized to redress grievances not involving Environmentalism, Racial Preferences, or any other Cause the Enlightened approves of (such aggregations hereafter to be known as Special Interests); or the right of the Enlightened to assemble and riot if necessary, in protest or other attempt to Speak Truth to Power, and to petition the Government for a redress of Imagined Grievances.

Article [II.] There is no Article II. There never was. Look, over there! A lion! No, really! Look!

Go there. Now.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 10:17 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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