August 28, 2008

Convention update

I've always enjoyed Stephen Green's drunkblogging of things political. Tonight, though, he must still be fairly sober, because he's acting a little pissed off:


8:48PM If Colorado isn’t in play, I planned on voting for Bob Barr. But Obama is being so dishonest tonight that I’m tempted to vote for McCain out of spite.

8:47PM Obama just had the gaul to claim that he won’t challenge McCain’s character. It’s not HIS fault that McCain is evil.

8:45PM Tough, direct … diplomacy! I negotiate in your general direction!

8:44PM “…Strained our oldest alliances.” Like all those right wingers recently elected in France and Germany and Italy who see our side more and more?

8:42PM Did Obama REALLY just accuse McCain of being unwilling to pursue bin Laden? I don’t like McCain. I don’t (yet) plan to vote for McCain. But I would NOT go around impugning John McCain’s manhood.

I told my wife that political conventions have all the honesty of used car salemen
and all the spontaneity of Broadway musicals. She asked, "So how else are people supposed to know what the candidates say?" I responded that I don't care what they say; I pay attention to what they do. Of course, I'm a political junkie and pay attention to these things. She pointed out that most Americans don't pay any attention at all and therefore get easily persuaded by these dog and pony shows. Sadly, she is absolutely correct. Here are the likely responses to convention speeches:

1) He's/She's pretty.

2) Gee, that sounded good. Maybe I can get a free pony, too!

3) Yeah, he/she is going to create 5 million new jobs. [ed. note: this was called vaporware back when I was a programmer]

Fuck, I'm depressed. I expect to be no less depressed watching the GOP bullshit next week.

Update: Via Ken in the comments comes this doozy:


MOOSEBURGERS FOR EVERYONE!

And via Gerard comes little doozy:


"The smart liberals are worried. The dumb ones think they've won."

I've been reading a lot of dumb liberals today.

Final update: From in the tank for Obama land:


For me, the more I think about it, the more this pick is about McCain's contempt for Obama. He really seems to think that Palin is as qualified as Obama to be president.

I know that Andrew isn't really that stupid and it's just his man crush forcing him to say stupid shit like this. The Palin pick might well not work out, but trying to pretend that Obama's 150 days in the Senate followed by 2 years campaigning for president makes him magically qualified to be president isn't wishful thinking, it's absolutely bathshit insane. Then again, this IS Andrew we're talking about.

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This just in

I can barely stand the spectacle our national party conventions are. They're full of completely rehearsed bullshit passed on as the truth and accepted as gospel by one group of people and discarded as ignorant lies by the other half. It's even worse this year, what with the GOP nominating John McCain. Believe me when I tell you that conservatives and libertarians aren't, like Keith Olbermann, soiling themselves in ecstasy over the opportunity to vote for the Maverick.

However. As much as I understand the "our guys are great/your guys suck" mood after each speech is given, I simply cannot fathom the complete disconnect from reality at places like BugFuckCrazy Juice. To hear John Cole tell it, unlike many actual Democrat strategists, the convention has been such a dandy success that the coming "disaster" of the GOP convention will only further cement the Obamamessiah's lead among the electorate. And while I know that Cole is completely in the tank for Obama to the point that he neglects to remove The Chosen One's cock from his mouth while typing, I'm still amazed at what idle drool he assumes is intelligent analysis. In fact, about the only thing he said that makes sense is the fact that the Republican base is not excited about voting for McCain, something so obvious that it probably took Mr. Cole only a month or so to figure out.

Even as someone who plans to vote 3rd party this year, I've got to say that the thought of how unhinged OlberCole would become if their Greek God manages to lose to McCain does make me smile. Watching the ensuing meltdown would almost be worth being forced to live through a McCain presidency. Almost.

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August 26, 2008

Hillary unifies the party

From Neal Boortz comes this preview of Hillary's speech tonight:

more...

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August 25, 2008

My only live blog thoughts for either convention

I had an aunt die from a brain tumor. It was a horrible, awful death that I wouldn't wish on anyone, not even someone as loathsome as I consider Senator Kennedy. Anyway, listening to the tribute given to said senator at the DNC tonight, one thought kept running through my brain: Mary Jo Kopechne was unable to attend.

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Choice of President

Received via email from my mother, of all people:


electile dysfunction.jpg

Electile Dysfunction: the inability to become aroused over any of the choices for President put forth by either party in the 2008 election year.

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Let's get it on

In honor of this week's Great American Mile High Snoozefest, I give you Dave Barry's column. Excerpt:


But in the end, the focus of this convention will be on Barack Obama, who on Thursday night will receive the nomination in long-overdue recognition of a distinguished career of seeking the nomination. His goal, in his acceptance speech, will be to win over the undecided voters -- the people who are unsure of what he really stands for, or who have received emailed rumors that he is a Muslim, or a socialist, or a vampire, or a lesbian. His goal will be to show, with no disrespect to the Muslim socialist vampire lesbian community, that he is a regular person just like you, except he has Vision and Leadership. After that, he will lay out his specific policies for building a brighter future. Then he will turn into a bat.

No, he won't, although that would make this the most fun convention EVER.

I'm rooting for the bat thing myself, but I've got a perverse sense of humor.

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August 22, 2008

Quote of the election season

From Megan McArdle:


It should be possible to debate the issues in this election at a level above "My guy's awesome and your guy is a big fat doody-head". But it doesn't seem to be. I find this profoundly depressing.

I've noticed the same thing the last couple of elections.

Update: Actually, John Scalzi has a pretty good comment of his own:


I think the race has tightened because that’s what often happens around this time, if I’m not wildly mistaken. Do McCain’s ads have anything to do with it? Oh, probably. So does the fact that Obama went on vacation. So does the fact that conservatives have unleashed their poo-flinging monkeys (see: Jerome Corsi), and so does the fact that some liberals have come around to the realization that Obama, does not, in fact, fart cinnamon-scented rainbows.

I kind of wish that I had come up with that particular line, but I suppose that there's a good reason or three that Mr. Scalzi writes for a living and I do not.

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August 20, 2008

What she said

For the last few years, I've opined that McCain cannot get elected president. Most of that time, though, I had assumed- wrongly- that Hillary! would be the Democratic nominee. And now with the young, handsome Mr. Hope-ity Change-ity as the opponent, Mr. Maverick Melanoma looked like dead meat, especially since some conservative/liberatarian types (okay, ME) will not be voting for him.

Recently, though, I've started to see cracks in the Obama campaign. Once again, the Democrats look like they might have gone with the pretty choice instead of the smart choice. And while I still won't be voting on the McCainiac ticket, I have to admit that the thought of seeing all the leftists in a catatonic stupor the first Wednesday in November does bring a smile to my face.

Anyway, I'll give Karol Shenin the last word:


The thing they [Democrats] all have in common, and have since, oh 2002, is that they all think the Democrat is going to win and they can't wait to tell me so. They were all completely shellshocked when Bush was re-elected in 2004, obviously, but nothing will compare to the devastation if Obama loses. There is a uniform smirk that they all have these days, almost like "silly Republican friend of a friend, can't you see Obama can't lose?" I mostly nod and smile and tell them that I consider Obama a 4 on a 1-10 scale and McCain a 5 so, y'know, I'll live. Blue states should have smelling salts and anti-depressants on hand if somehow, some way, John McCain pulls this thing off.


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August 11, 2008

When life hands you a sh*t sandwich

Bill Quick has finally decided to vote for McCain. He's not happy about that decision, either. In fact, I'd say that Bill is the complete opposite of happy. Excerpt:


I have often publicly worried about the threat of some sort of biowar attack against the United States, and also worried about things like airborn Avian Flu. I still worry about such things, and I consider them to be major, even potentially existential threats to the survival of the United States.

Now, from a political point of view, I think a John McCain presidency will be disastrous for the GOP in the long term, and certainly disastrous for conservative principles within the GOP. In fact, I think an Obama presidency, in which things generally proceed from bad to worse, would be better for conservatism in the long run.
...
John McCain is probably not going to do much for anything political I care about - I consider him a moderately left centrist - but he is something else, as well. He is capable of making a decision and sticking to it in the face of public opposition. He is a former navy pilot and commander who made life or death decisions on the fly, and then carried them out. So here is what it comes down to: For the sake of my own safety and survival, who do I want in the White House if Bird Flu starts killing people in San Francisco?


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August 08, 2008

Party of the stupid, part infinity plus one

The GOP has a great issue- energy- that's actually working for them. So what do they do? They decide to piss it away.


It’s taken time, but Sen. McCain and his party have finally found—in energy—an issue that’s working for them. Riding voter discontent over high gas prices, the GOP has made antidrilling Democrats this summer’s headlines. . . .

Still, it was probably too much to assume every Republican would work out that their side was winning this issue. And so, last Friday, in stumbled Sens. Lindsey Graham, John Thune, Saxby Chambliss, Bob Corker and Johnny Isakson—alongside five Senate Democrats. This “Gang of 10” announced a “sweeping” and “bipartisan” energy plan to break Washington’s energy “stalemate.” What they did was throw every vulnerable Democrat, and Mr. Obama, a life preserver.

If you're response is WTF?!, be aware that an explanation does exist, courtesy of Rob:


Sound like a good deal? It’s not. So why are these Republicans on board with it? Lindsey Graham is from South Carolina. John Thune is from South Dakota. Saxby Chambliss and Johnny Isakson are from Georgia. Bob Corker is from Tennessee. Every one of these states has a significant base of agriculture that’s tied in with the ethanol industry. What these guys are doing is putting what’s best for the ethanol lobbyists, who are no doubt regular visitors to their offices, over what is best for the country.

Some day the GOP will finally realize that it's bullshit like this that has returned them to minority party status. Or maybe not. It's not like you see a lot of Whig candidates these days.

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Worth 1000 words

Check out the picture in this post by Gerard.

In honor of this year's Summer Olympics, some new competitions will debut. Here are a couple:

1) The Run in Front of the Tank Relay.

2) The Dissident Debate Biathalon, where one competitor states an opinion, the second competitor disagrees and the first then shoots the second. Yes, much like chess, going first in this "sport" is an advantage.

Feel free to add your own in the comments.

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If only

The Paris Hilton spoofing of McCain ended up highlighting the deficiencies of Obama's plan. Someone emailed to Jerry Pournelle what I think would be a great followup:


McCain moving to the realm of "Cool"

If Paris Hilton can mock McCain (& Obama - but the impetous is McCain) http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080806/D92CVG180.html , then McCain must be moving to the realm of "cool"! To steal a march, McCain should come out with his own mock add:


Scene - McCain in a lawn chair with a beach umbrella; obviously in a 'back yard'. He's wearing swim trunks, Hawaiian shirt, flip-flops, and a sun hat. His nose is smeared with zinc oxide and he's holding a glass of iced tea. Long shot of back yard, moves in to headshot.

McCain - "Boy, I wish I had a job like this. It's got to be nice to have no responsibilities, but still dream of being president!. Ah, well, I have to think about the economy, Iran, Iraq, social security, immigration, and there's just a little thing like running for the office of President. I wish I could work on my tan more."

Camera moves in tighter to McCain as he settles back in the chair to take a nap. As the camera moves in, he opens his eyes a bit and cuts them toward the camera.

McCain - "I think I'm ready for the A-List".

Cut to closing: "McCain for A-list"

Couv

-- David Couvillon Colonel of Marines; Former Governor of Wasit Province, Iraq; Righter of Wrongs; Wrong most of the time; Distinguished Expert, TV remote control; Chef de Hot Dog Excellance; Collector of Hot Sauce; Avoider of Yard Work

That's a pretty good funny right there. If McCain were smart, he'd do it. Then again, they don't call it the party of the stupid for nothing.

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