Maxim has compiled a list of the Top Ten Shows We Won't Watch during the upcoming season. Excerpt:

9. Dr. Steve-O (USA Network)

Whoa—Jackass’s Steve-O and Trishelle from Real World/Road Rules: Whore Olympics…in the same show! In Dr. Steve-O, the grizzled reality-TV pair will make their way from one viewer-nominated sad case to another, attempting to de-wussify (their word, not ours) the poor blokes before the hour is out. A press release notes that the show will also feature “shockingly hilarious stunts” and “embarrassingly funny and demented dares.” And to think that we used to dump on USA for its thrice-daily Walker, Texas Ranger reruns.
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2. Cavemen (ABC)

We’ve always found Geico’s “Caveman” commercials moderately entertaining, even if they never prompted us to purchase insurance or ridicule a specific racial or ethnic group. This show, however, appears to be setting its sights a bit higher, billing itself as “a hilarious and thought-provoking social commentary on race relations in today’s America.” Are networks allowed to cancel a show mid-episode? We’re about to find out.

1. The Return of Jezebel James (Fox)

This one doesnÂ’t debut until November-ish, so thereÂ’s plenty of time for somebody to tweak, rework, or euthanize it. Suffice it to say that Parker Posey will have to appear in 47 New York-based indie films and date 226 indie singer/songwriters to restore her street cred. To view the worst trailer in the history of the genre, click here.

Thank goodness I have lots of DVDs and books lying around the house. Eesh.

Update: Consider yourself bitten.

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Looks like you might be forced to sit through some episodes of The Flash. Okay, it doesn't entirely suck, but it isn't very good. Anyway, excerpt:

Beginning in October, SCI FI will air Battlestar Galactica "mini-sodes" entitled "Razor" during episodes of the hit series Flash Gordon, Fridays at 9 p.m. The two-to-three-minute shorts will lead into the Nov. 24 premiere of "Razor," the two-hour Battlestar special TV movie, which will tell the story of Lee Adama's (Jamie Bamber) first mission as commander of the Battlestar Pegasus and will reveal the story of how Adm. Cain (Michelle Forbes) served her ship during the original Cylon attack on the Colonies. "Razor," which airs at 9 p.m., will provide a backdrop to events in the rest of Battlestar, which returns for its fourth and final season in early 2008.

Hit series The Flash? What, exactly, constitutes "hit" ratings for a SciFi original series? Mind you, I've liked quite a few of them, but I think that it's a question worth asking. Whenever a series is touted as "must see" or "surefire hit" on network TV, I can almost guarantee that it's destined for the round file.

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Joss Whedon might finally make that TV special chronicling the exploits of the Taster's Choice guy, err, the Ripper. Only a few years overdue, but it'll probably be pretty good.

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It appears as though the SciFi channel will be airing a Firefly marathon tomorrow. However, I'll be at work AND I own the DVDs. Might be a good way to pass the time if you're at home, though.

Tangentially related updated: Nathan Fillion decides to play house in Season 4 of Desparate Housewives. He will do so opposite the always yummy Dana Delany. Lucky bastard.

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