Van der Merwe got a job on the railways as a steward and the first day he accompanied another steward to learn the ropes. "It's very simple," said his tutor, "just use diplomacy."

"What's diplomacy?" asked Van.

"Watch me I'll show you."

Off they went down the train corridor, rattling compartment doors, opening them with special keys and offering tea or coffee. When the tutor steward flung open one door he was confronted with a buck-naked woman. Without batting an eyelid he asked, "Tea or coffee, sir?"

The surprised woman took the cup of tea and he shut the door. "Wow, did you see that cutie!" Van said excitedly. "She had no clothes on, but hey, why did you call her sir?"

"That's diplomacy! I did not want to embarrass her."

Van der Merwe was most impressed with his teacher. The next day on his own now, he flung open a door to a compartment and found a couple making love n
the bed.

"Tea or coffee, sir?"

"Tea," the man replied.

"And for your brother?"

Posted by: Physics Geek at 10:19 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 178 words, total size 1 kb.

Retread humor
-----------------

Women's Prayer:

Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man,
who's not a creep. One who's handsome, smart
and strong, one who loves to listen long. One who
thinks before he speaks, when he says he'll call,
he won't wait weeks. I pray that he is gainfully
employed, when I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door, massages my
back and begs to do more. Oh, send me a man who'll
make love to my mind, knows what to answer to "how
big is my behind?" I pray that this man will love me to
no end, and never attempt to hit on my friends.

Amen.

Man's Prayer:

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs
who owns a liquor store.

Amen

Posted by: Physics Geek at 02:34 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 145 words, total size 1 kb.

Live out in the boonies where neither DSL or cable broadband are available? Don't depair: there may be hope for you yet. Excerpt:

Satellite
If you're out in the sticks, DirecWay satellite Internet service may be your first, best, and only hope for broadband access. The service works by connecting your PC to a geosynchronous satellite, which links to DirecWay's terrestrial gateways to the Internet. Today's systems do away with the clumsy landline connections of yesteryear for upstream data. And while data rates can be acceptable (up to 500 Kbps), the delay introduced by a 44,000-mile round trip from home to satellite and back makes DirecWay inappropriate for gaming, voice over IP, and virtual private network connections.

Cost: $50 to $100 per month

Best for: Rural locations

Pros: Available almost anywhere; provides access in rural areas otherwise outside of broadband's reach.

Cons: Expensive; limited bandwidth; high lag times make it inappropriate for many applications; requires southern view of sky to find satellite.

Broadband Over Power LineBPL takes advantage of the same phenomenon that lets DSL share signals with voice traffic--electricity travels at a lower frequency than data signals. Companies have therefore decided to offer broadband over the electrical wires that come into homes. Although BPL tests have been ongoing around the country, working deployments remain limited as power companies weigh whether or not to get into the broadband market. Still, cities such as Cincinnati, Ohio, and Manassas, Virginia, have BPL service. In Cincinnati, Current Communications offers service through Cinergy for $30 to $50 per month, depending on the download speed you want (3 Mbps is the current max).

Opinions on the prospects for BPL are split. Research firm Telecommunication Trends International projects that worldwide BPL deployments will jump from $57.1 million in 2004 to $4.4 billion by 2011. But Radicati Group analyst Teney Takahashi says bluntly: "Power line broadband is not going to happen."

Cost: $30 to $50 per month

Best for: Remote areas not served by cable or DSL, or any area poorly served by cable or DSL

Pros: Power lines are ubiquitous and reach homes not served by cable or by DSL-capable phone lines.

Cons: Not widely deployed; significant issues with the data signal producing broadcast interference; power companies lack the service bundling advantages of phone or cable providers.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 01:00 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 387 words, total size 3 kb.

Or extreme stupidity. I have a feeling that the commercial mentioned in this story wouldn't go over so well in the US. Excerpt:

A spokesman for the company said Regional has no plans to apologize for running a television commercial that said the difference between a wife and a lover was 30 kilograms (about 66 pounds), the newspaper El Universal reported.

Women called the advertising misogynist and demanded.

The Regional spokesman said the company wouldn't apologize unless it is forced to do so by the courts. He added: "I bet all these women's groups are run by women who are at least 30 kilos overweight."

Posted by: Physics Geek at 12:09 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 109 words, total size 1 kb.